"Well..." Now it was Shuu's turn to look down. "It's kind of embarrassing," he muttered. "Compared to what you're going through, my life is cotton candy."
Ken shook her head. "Tell me. I want to know."
Shuu took a deep breath. "My mom...she's always loved me. I'm her precious boy. But she's weak of health...she used to get treatments on the weekends, but now she's gone all the time. She's in France, her home country, so I can't..." He swallowed. "I can't visit her. And, my dad...I love him, but I used to be his little boy, you know? He'd take me everywhere and introduce me to important people like he was proud of me. And then, I stopped being his son and started being his business successor, and he doesn't let himself love me anymore. Or maybe he does, but, it's all...it's all messed up. And then I go to school thinking maybe I can find someone to fill the void, but I'm surrounded by..." Shuu gestured around himself at the party that was still raging. "These people, who only care what things look like on the surface. I look perfect. I know how to fake everything, the smile, the laugh, the manners. But none of them can see how truly ugly I am inside, how I hate all of their vapid faces and how I hate my dad for abandoning me for the company and how I even-" His voice caught as his eyes prickled with heat. "How I even hate my mom sometimes for being so sick that she can't be a parent because she only had the strength to look after herself and not me too. I hate having money because it means nobody will ever bother to look past my smile and my laugh and my manners to see the ugliness I hide, but I am that ugly boy, and I'm tired of wearing fake masks over who I am. I-" His voice hitched again. "I can't talk like this." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Not to anybody. They'd think I was f**king insane. Everyone has these f**king expectations of everything I'm supposed to do, and I just can't...I don't want to. I want to be me, you know? But everybody else is trying to jam all these pieces into the puzzle and shape who I am and it bothers me so freaking much...I just want...I don't know what I want. But I want everyone to let me figure it out for myself, you know? My real self. No matter how ugly I am." Shuu looked up at Ken, his eyes watery like hers had been several minutes ago.
"You're not ugly," she said. "You're beautiful."
Shuu's heart lifted as she said those words, each of them striking true. He'd needed someone to say them honestly for who knew how long, and the time had finally come.
Shuu leaned in, closing his eyes.
"What are you doing?" Ken asked bluntly.
Shuu'a eyes flicked opened. "I- I thought that-"
Ken took two steps back. "Just because we talked about stuff doesn't mean that I want you to kiss me."
"I..." Shuu faltered.
"I thought you weren't after that kind of thing," Ken said, clearly starting to grow frightened. She quickly remembered that they were alone, only scaring her more.
"I like you, Ken. A lot. You're the only person I can be me with. I don't want to lose you. Please."
"Why can't we just be friends that don't do stuff like that?" Ken asked, moving backward further, and Shuu followed her, pressing her against the bushes.
"Because if I'm just your friend, that won't be nearly enough. I need to have you with me all the time so I can get rid of this mask. Please, Ken. I'm begging you." He hesitated. "I'm not Ayato," he whispered.
Ken stilled, her eyes wide and terrified. But after a second, they closed like she was thinking. Finally, they reopened. "Fine," she said. "But if you want to try this dating thing, I'm setting some ground rules first."
Shuu smiled, nuzzling his face into her neck. "All right, Ken. Whatever you say."
Ken pushed him off of her. "You're violating rule one."
"What?" Shuu asked, shocked.
"No physical contact whatsoever."
"WHAT?!"