🐞MTOABB🐞

"He is meant to be different-- my kind of different," I tell Cass.

Why does it surprise me that it's Holly who got in between us - it was bound to happen. I knew that better than anyone.

"That's a big ask," she says.

"Is it really? All I ask is for a boy who knows how to love-- the kind that takes my breath away but still keeps me wanting more. He was meant to be that guy -- the perfect one for me."

All I wanted was to find an imperfectly perfect boy to make my love story complete. But every time I am fooled into believing that everything is better than okay, life smacks reality into my face and I'm stuck looking like an idiot.

I sigh. "I've ruined our sleepover, haven't I?"

"I don't think so. We can always salvage it with ice cream and cookies."

This time around, I had a girl best friend to keep me company as my heart shatters into a million pieces.

"Sounds like a plan." I use the coat to wipe my snort - that sat lingering on my nostril.

"We'll call BJ's and place an order -- it's not that late," she says, rubbing my back like you would a child.

"I'll give you an A+ for effort, but that hand on my back is doing nothing for me." I smile, turning to face her.

"Thank goodness." She drops her hand and I can't help but laugh.

Her hair still messy from my earlier hairstyle experiment-- we all had that one dream of being a hairstylist until we tried it and it took us nowhere -- that was my attempt today and Cass was willing to be my doll for the day.

I had planned the whole day with Cass today, and knowing that Chloe is turning eighteen tomorrow and she's already had a feeling of what a woman should be like, made me realise that I want a taste of that too.

It was all meant to be with Zack.

My first kiss -- that Gomes stole.

My first boyfriend.

And he was meant to make me feel like a woman too -- but having a taste of Gomes, it just felt right that he be the first to work his magic.

He was perfect for the job -- the job?

Maybe let's not call it a job -- pillowtalk -- now that's the perfect word.

We would tangle ourselves in our web of desire as I allow myself to become one with him. It would feel like magic as he dangles his hands in all the right places -- that to me should have been the best night I've had by far or even ever.

Mom had already said yes to the sleepover so my plan was already operating as it should --smooth as butter if I don't say so myself.

I told Chloe to drop me at the mall which had her giving me daggers the whole ride there-- but it would be worth it -- it should have been. A night with Gomes should have been a sign that wishes do come true.

Owning a pair of heels had always been a struggle for me. The amount of times I broke a heel, would make you think I was rich. But I made a mental note to buy just the right one-- the one that says "I want you now, not later". I would then have emptied my pockets so Chloe was my go to girl -- what is the benefit of having a sister if you can't ask her for a pair of lipstick and she's always stocked up -- you would think she was running a side business.

I told Chloe to fetch me instead of Prinse -- I was so convinced that my night would be spent with him that I told Cass my plan to sleep in his room instead -- No, I was not telling her about the latter -- that is a story for when the deed has been completed.

But standing here in the middle of her room as I recall all of that I wish I could go back to the shop and demand for my refund. The shoes didn't even do their job -- what happened to "I want you now, not later"?

A mental smack wouldn't come close to the death sentence I wanted to give myself. They say no regrets -- live your life to the fullest. But my fullest moment would have been in there with him, not here feeling sorry for myself.

🐞My Type of a Bad Boy🐞

I wake to mom's message telling me to get ready, that she'll be here in thirty minutes.

I slip out of Cass's bed and move to the bathroom to splash water on my face.

I left her room with her snoozing off without a care in the world and in that moment, I wished I was in her shoes.

I drag my feet to the kitchen where I find him seated with his shoulders hung low and his head down. He shifts to my sudden movement and I quickly turn to try and make an exit.

"Rossita, please wait," he says hoarsely.

"No, you don't get to tell me to wait for the second time, I--"

"I have a child."

Casper, come fetch me!

What could I say to that? -- A whole child is in the picture. I was prepared for it to be another girl, not this and not right now.

"Why tell me now?" I whisper.

"I don't know." He shrugs.

"You have to know, Prinse."

I could feel chills dancing through my entire body and I wanted to take advantage of this moment to know more -- to have him open up.

"You're quick to jump to conclusions," he says. He stands from the stool and walks to where I am anxiously fidgeting with my fingers. He stops my hands and our eyes connect.

"I should have told you sooner."

"A normal human being wouldn't have -- I can't blame you for being human." I bite my lip.

It won't change anything, as long as we don't change -- as long as what we have continues.

"I was waiting for you to bite my head off." He scratches his head.

"I didn't say I won't-- for starters you are paying me back for these stupid heels. I bought them for you."

"I don't wear heels though." He lightly chuckles and I shake my head, rolling my eyes.

"You know exactly what I mean, I'll be waiting for my money," I tell him and he nods -- leaning in and giving me a peck on the cheek.