🐞MTOABB🐞

I lightly knock hoping she doesn't hear so that I can tell Gomes I tried my very best to convince her.

"Come in."

Seriously? You've got to be kidding me. What is she doing that she could hear my poor attempt at knocking?

I turn the doorknob and bring the door to an open. "May I come in?" I ask although she had already said yes.

"Do you have something to ask me?" She asks and I swallow the spit loitering in my mouth.

"Mom... so I have it all planned out. I am going to be so good and will text you every hour to let you know I am okay," I start spitting out.

"You just came back from a trip and already thinking of going on another one. That is not happening," she states.

"Why not," I whine.

"You have your exams to worry about," she says matter-of-factly.

"But that is a month away," I try to reason with her.

"I know but you have yet to open any of your school books. All you can think about these days is going on trips."

"But I haven't even told what the trip is going to be about," I tell her.

"Does it even matter since it won't be educational at all."

"No it will be," I lie -- or am I really lying? I would be learning about the child's health, is that not educational?

She stops folding the clothes on her bed and looks at me seriously. "You can stop lying because my answer is that you're not going and I am not going to change my mind."

I kneel next to her feet as I ball into a crying fit as tears sting my cheeks. "Mom, please!"

"Rossita, get up. We will not be having this conversation any further." She stands up from the bed and walks to open her door. She leaves me on her wooden floor as she walks downstairs.

What now?

I promised Gomes I would try, but I'm sure I was not doing all of this for just him. I was doing it for me too. I need to know what it would be like to be around his child. He spoke so highly of her -- his little pink gummy bear. I wasn't going to give up, not when there was still time on the clock.

I followed mom down the stairs and then there was a knock. I sped down the stairs, skipping the last two steps to get to the door before mom -- but the universe was not my side as she opened the door.

"Prinse? What brings you here?" She asks, surprised as she opens the door wide enough to invite him inside.

"Hi, Ms. Jenkins," he greets as he steps inside.

"No need to be so formal, son. Call me Rebecca." He nervously chuckles, not sure if he should go as far as address by her forename.

"I wanted to ask you something," he tells my mom and then he spots sitting on the bottom step of the stairs. I was shaking my head, and that should have been enough evidence for him to leave and go without me. But Gomes didn't listen, he smiled at me and turned to follow my mom to the kitchen.

I walk in the kitchen right after them. "Rossita, what is it?" She asks stoically.

"Mom, please!" I cry.

"Why do you suddenly want to go to Miami, especially since your final exams are around the corner?" She asks after the back and forth were tiring her out. I knew I had a chance but the more we keep at it, the less the time becomes. I hadn't looked at the time, worried that I was running out of time.

"I am dating Prinse," I blurt out -- maybe then she will say yes since she likes him. I am not sure if that was the best idea in the world, but it was the only card left to play.

She stays quiet and Gomes shifts in his seat uncomfortably. He wipes his hands on his jeans.

"That still doesn't explain why you want to go down to Miami?" She asks.

"Rossita, it's fine. I apologize for this Ms. Jenkins," he says apologetically.

"I'll go whether you say yes or no," I say, shocking myself in the process. What the fuck did you just say, Rossita? I wasn't sure why I had said it, but there was no going back from it, so I stood confident in my stance.

"Rossita," Gomes reprimands but I don't budge.

Mom looks taken back, not sure if she expected this from me, maybe Chloe but never me. I committed all my crimes in secret, never out in the open. "If you leave then you must not come back."

I wasn't ready to hear that. I wasn't even sure what she was going to say, but I didn't think she would say that.

Where would I go if I can't come back?

What happened to the fact that I am her daughter? -- Did that just fly out of the window?

My mind was spiraling out of control as I stared at mom in utter shock. Tears begin streaming down my cheeks but I don't bother to wipe them off. I glance at Gomes for a quick second and the sadness in his eyes kills me. I turned to look back at mom and she didn't look like someone who was going to budge.

I bolt out of the kitchen, leaving them alone as I rush up the stairs and into my room.

She was young once, she should understand that I want to be there for him. If I'm not there then who will? Holly. I muffle my screams against the pillow as the thought crosses my mind.

It's different now, I know it because we are on a different ship, Gomes and I. We've upgraded and although I am not his girlfriend by status, I know I am his by actions and that is enough to calm my nerves and jealousy.

Screaming wasn't going to do it for me, so I started crying. I wasn't sure if thirty minutes passed or maybe it was an hour.

I wasn't sure anymore -- did it really matter? The decision was already made for me and despite wanting to go, I had to choose my family, just like he would if in the same predicament. 

Leave me a like and a comment because it's 2021...duhh
Insert: please 🙂