🐞MTOABB🐞

"The movie is about to start," he whispers.

We hadn't made any move to leave the car. We had been sitting there for a few hours since coming to a stop. I had started crying the moment we arrived and then I'd stopped.

We spoke.

We spoke like two confused souls.

He brought his hand on my thigh and it lingered there for a while. "Will you miss just sitting here with me?" I asked and he nodded.

"We could do long distance," I suggested. "We would be able to make it work."

"Rossita, stop."

"Why? Have you already planned on fucking her the moment you land?" I didn't mean to say it out loud, but I was thinking about it. It's always three steps back when it comes to my progress. Am I obsessed with him? Maybe a little. I hope not too much.

"We can never go one day without your snarky comments."

"Sorry, but you didn't answer me."

"Is sex the only thing running through your mind?" He asks and my cheeks flushes. I wasn't expecting him to ask that.

"No," I say abruptly. "You've had sex with everyone else but me, why?"

He looks at me for a second before looking away. I couldn't read him. "You're not ready." That's all he says, no explanation given.

"What does it take for me to be ready?" I ask.

"To not get attached." I stayed quiet after that. What could I have said?

A few seconds pass and we don't bother to fill the air with words.

"Should we go somewhere else?" He asks. The doors to the movie theater were now closed and the ticket sale lady had gone on her break.

"Gomes, wait." I put my hand on his.

"Where do you want to go?" I ask.

"Back to my place, is that fine?" He asks and I nod.

The lights were all switched off when we got inside. "Is no one home?" I ask.

"Looks like it," he answers as he switches on the light in the kitchen.

"Do you want something to eat or drink?" He asks.

"May I get a glass of water please?" I ask him.

"Please?" He raises his eyebrow.

"I know how to say please," I laugh.

"Right," he chuckles.

The house was quiet and if you listened closely you would hear my heart beating fast.

"Here," he says, passing the glass of water to me. I thank him as I take the first gulp.

"So what do you want to do?" He asks.

"I'm trying not to think about it, but you're leaving in two days." He walks up to me and wraps his arms around my waist.

"I wish it wasn't this hard to let go," he whispers. His lips were just an inch away from my ear.

"Do you want to let go?"

"It's not that I want to, Rossita, I have to."

"You don't have to," I utter. "Gomes..."

"Don't say anything stupid that will ruin this moment, Rossita."

My body goes stiff. Could he read my mind? I feel his lips gently nibble on my earlobe.

"I got you a book that I know you will love," he tells me as he let's go of my waist.

"Now I'm excited," I let him know as he guided me to the couch.

"I wanted to give it to you at my graduation, but the time feels right."

"You want to lock yourself in my memory box."

"Maybe deep down I don't want to make it easy for you to forget me."

It wasn't a question, Gomes. You are already locked in my memory box.

"Stay here for a minute, I will be right back." He disappears up the stairs and I wait in anticipation.

He's gone more than a few minutes so I called out for him.

"I'll be right down!" He yells from upstairs.

Another minute passes by and he finally returns holding a book in one hand.

I let my eyes linger on the words on the cover Bleu Dreams. "What is it about?" I ask curiously.

"Finding yourself."

"Finding myself?"

"The girl, Bleu, is on a journey of self discovery," he clarifies

"Thank you," I mutter.

He read the first chapter to me as I laid my head on his chest, listening tentatively as Bleu decides to go to that party. I could see why he picked this book out for me. I am Bleu and she is me.

Silence fills up the space between us as he closes the book and places it on the floor next to the couch.

"Can't you stay and only leave when you're supposed to?" I ask.

"I'm not sure. I've already told Holly I will be there on Monday."

"Can't you change your mind like you did with me?"

"Rossita..."

"I want you to stay a little longer. How can I convince you to stay?"

"Cook me a mean sandwich," he smirks. He knew I couldn't cook to save my life but I would try.

"Talking about food, mom wants you to come over for dinner tomorrow."

"Am I allowed to say no?" He jokingly asks.

"You will have to tell her yourself if you're not coming," I let him know. "Now, let me go and prepare you the best sandwich you've ever had." I stand up and he grabs my wrist.

"Rossita, you don't have to."

"No I want to. You think I won't win and keep you here with me? Well if you thought that then you were mistaken."

"I don't want to stay."

Now that's a low one - even for you Gomes.

I didn't have words to express what was going through my head other than RED.

"Should have listened when Cass warned me. She fucking warned me and I... I didn't listen. Oh my fuck, I fell for it, didn't I?"

"Rossita, calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down. You don't get to pretend to care anymore. You've fooled me long enough. Now you can drop the act and tell me who you are and why did you pick me? Did I look that naive?"

"What are you on about? Can I explain what I meant when I said that?"

"No! So you can use your daughter as the excuse. She's your escape plan isn't she?"

"Rossita, I'm going to need you to shut up." His voice was calm and his words were precise. "If you don't want to listen then I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

I snicker. "Don't bother asking me, I'm leaving. I wish I was a good person, maybe then I would wish you well, but at this moment I wish you..." I stop myself, because I would regret it. Maybe I am a good person after all.

"You can keep your book. It was not nice to meet you after all but thank you for all the lessons learned. I know what to not look for in the next guy."

He watched me close the door behind me and didn't say one word.

This time I was the one in a quandary and not him.