🐞MTOABB🐞

I didn't get a reply back and I was worried he wouldn't pitch up. I jump out of bed and run to the bathroom. What did I plan to say to him? I return back to my room and quickly grab the first clothing item I see in the closet and put it on.

Chloe rushes in and at least this time she didn't find me half-naked.

"Are you not going to tell me what the hell happened last night?" She asks.

"I can't right now, Chloe. I have to get ready to go see him."

"See who?"

I stop in my steps and turn to look at her. "Seriously Chloe. I'm talking about Gomes."

"My bad, could have been Zack who you were going to go see," she mutters.

She lays on my bed and watches my every move. "You're such a hawk right now," I tell her and she throws her head back in laughter.

"What time are you meant to meet him?" Chloe asks me and I stop in my trail. Oh shit! I didn't give him time. "I don't know. He hadn't even responded to my message.

"Call him and find out," She says matter-of-factly. How could she make it seem so easy? Pick up your phone and dial him, Rossita. I'm scared I will be tongue-tied - yes a cat crawled in and cut my tongue.

"Do you want me to call him for you?" She asks when she sees that I wasn't going to answer her. I nod affirmatively. I probably was going to regret it, but I needed to do this not for him - no I needed to think about myself this time around. I have felt invincible when I'm around anyone that he has had a past with. We have both cheated on us and we could fight the statement by being technical and say that weren't official, but come on - I know we're not dumb at all. The emotions were there from the get go and instead of acknowledging that we pushed each other away with every dumb mistake we made.

Do I regret meeting him? Do I regret having a conscience? Maybe I should have walked away and never looked back.

"You could go straight back where you came from. And when did my face start saying I'm a GPS and I give people directions?" I rudely ask without expecting an answer and I continue to walk without glancing back.

I remember those words like it was yesterday. He was minding his own business and I was... I was in love with Zack. In love?

The phone started ringing and then I heard his voice come alive on the speaker. "Hey Chloe."

"Hi Prinse. How are you feeling this morning?" Chloe asks him. I could hear him sigh on the other end. I decided not to speak, I didn't want it to seem like I was intervening. I was already eavesdropping on their conversation.

"I've never had a girl exhaust me like your sister does," he admits and I wasn't expecting him to say that at all. Should I say my heart started breaking in small pieces, would that satisfy you? Would you be okay knowing that I am hurting - hurting over a boy. I remember being a 'neutral', I prided myself for that and now, can you believe I am the same person?

"She's young."

"It's the way I knew that but yet I still tried to push something with her."

"What are you trying to say, Prinse?"

"I plan on leaving on Monday."

"Wait, what? Our graduation ceremony is Monday."

"I will leave right after."

"Is there any way that I can change your mind?"

"I don't want my mind to be changed, Chloe."

"So you have truly made up your mind?"

"Yes."

I listened tentatively to their interaction and I hadn't realised that I was crying until a stream of tears trailed all the way to my lips and I could taste the saltiness. He didn't actually like me, did he?

"When do you plan on telling Rossita?"

"She wanted to meet with me today so I will speak to her then."

"It's going to break her," Chloe admits as she turns to look at me. My stomach was aching and I felt like collapsing to the ground.

"I can't go see him. I won't!" I scream. I wanted him to hear me. I wanted him to feel guilty for leading me on. I wanted him to hate himself for making me feel this way. I wanted him to hurt the way that I was hurting right now.

"Chloe, please don't tell me that she was sitting next to you." You could feel the frustration in his tone.

"I am so sorry, Prinse."

"For fuck sake, Chloe. You're supposed to be smarter than that. You know your sister and how she would have reacted."

"I didn't know you were going to say all of that."

"I need a moment," he says and ends the call before Chloe could say anything.

"I hate him with the little energy I have left. How dare he, Chloe. He lied to me. Just this week he told me he would stay and we would work something out. He would even fly Holly and the baby here if it meant that he and I could figure out what we are. He fucking lied."

"Rossita, I am going to need you to breathe. You've been doing so well with controlling your anxiety, I don't want you to go back into that dark place."

"Have I really? Just because I have not been talking about it doesn't mean I was able to control it. I have become good at hiding Chloe, but ever since he and I started getting so complicated, I have had multiple anxiety attacks."

"Rossita, why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to and still don't want to. I don't want to feel like I'm being pitied. And I am blaming him because that is what is helping me move forward, knowing it's his fault and not mine." I already felt like I was losing myself. I covered the blanket around my body and shaped myself into a ball.

"I don't want to leave you like this."

"Don't stay because you pity me, because if that's the case then I would rather you leave."

"You need someone right now," Chloe says.

"I have my crying pillows. They will help me through this just like they have helped me so many times."

There was a sudden knock on the door and then the handle creaked open. Mom stood by the door with her hand hanging on the handle. "Prinse is at the door."

"Tell him this is not a good time," Chloe tells mom.

"He said he is not leaving until he speaks to Rossita. Is someone going to tell me what is going on?" Mom asks.

"Not right now, mom."

Mom leaves the room and it's me and Chloe again.

"Don't tell him about my anxiety Chloe."

"I won't, I promise."

He knocked on the door. I knew it was him and so did Chloe. She jumps from the bed and runs towards the door before Gomes could open it. "Chloe let me in."

"I can't Prinse. This isn't a great time."

"I need to explain my decision to her. I care about her."

"You just didn't like her. Why did you lead her on, Prinse?" You could hear from Chloe's tone that she was mad and it felt so good to have her fight my battle.

"Out of everyone, you should know that I genuinely like your sister."

"You're not showing it, Prinse."

"I don't want to be rude, Chloe but you're not the person I came here to see. Let me in."

"I can't do that."

"Rossita, you know I am not leaving here until I speak to you, so please stop this. Let me in."

I was going to cave in, wasn't I? Oh, Rossita.