🐞MTOABB🐞

Chloe left the room and told me to text her if I wanted for her to return.

He stayed put with his back up against the door as he watched me watch him. It wasn't like the first time we had met. It was different then. He was just a boy I was getting to know and we never truly fought, just some meaningless quarrels, nothing to report.

"Rossita, I don't even know where to begin," he says, his eyes not yet leaving mine.

"Start by the part where you tell me why you were leading me on." I shifted to a sitting position.

"That's not the case and you know it."

"No, I don't. You had me meet your daughter, do you know how big of a step that was?"

"I know, proves my point that I was taking this seriously."

"No, it doesn't prove your point. What it does is, it shows how far you were willing to string me along. You were having conversations with your ex about getting back together while you and I were together. And I don't care if we weren't girlfriend and boyfriend, you knew how I felt and that should have been enough."

"Are you done screaming at me?"

"Don't ask me if I'm done. I'm far from being finished."

"Let me have it then," he says. He hadn't moved an inch.

"Just this week alone, you told me you wouldn't be leaving and now what is it that you are doing? You've come to say goodbye, haven't you?" I was crying and this time, I wasn't going to try and hide it. I wanted for him to see that he was the reason behind these tears.

"It's more complicated than that. We're not together."

Those words were enough to trigger my anxiety. One second I was on the bed and the next I was not. It felt like the room was closing in on me and I couldn't breathe. Count to ten, Rossita. I couldn't even hear myself, all I saw was red. I wanted to explode in more ways than one. I wanted... I didn't know what it was that I wanted besides this feeling to go away. I wasn't sure if I wanted Gomes anywhere near me.

I had stopped looking at him. He has seen me at a low point, but never at my lowest and now... he has seen it all. All the different shades of me.

"Rossita, are you okay? Should I call your mom?" He was panicking, you could hear it from the tone in his voice. He rushed towards me in such a frantic and knelt down next to me.

I couldn't seem to find my words. I didn't want him to call my mom.

"Should I call Chloe?" He felt helpless and you could see it by the way he didn't know what to do with his hands. Should he hold me or give me my space? It was evident he was overthinking it.

"Just hold me," I whisper, "-please."

It was like he was waiting for permission. He enveloped me into his arms and I found myself hiding in his neck nook.

"This is as hard for me as it is for you. I like you more than I lead on. I like you more than I would like to admit. You're... you're something special to me," he whispers.

"Then why leave me, Gomes?" I ask him.

"It's more complicated than that. I am a dad and I can't ask you to give up everything and come play house with me. She is the most important girl in my life, Rossita, and every difficult decision I make, I try to do them with her in mind.:

"Then why did you have me meet her if I wasn't going to be a part of her life?"

"I wanted to see how you would be with her."

"And? Did I do such a terrible job?"

"No, and that's why I had to end what's going on between us."

"I just don't understand, Gomes."

"On days we argue, you want to be done with me and I'm okay with you hurting me but I would hate you if you ever hurt my baby by walking out of her life in the long run."

He was making a lot of sense, but I wasn't ready to listen to logic. I put some distance between us. I wasn't thinking straight with his scent overpowering my thoughts.

"So what now? You leave next week." It sounded so definite and I hated it. I was confused by my own emotions. One minute I hated him and never wanted to see him again and the next minute he was all I wanted. Maye he is right. No he is right, I'm not ready to raise a baby especially if I'm so unsure of my feelings every other day.

"I want to make more happy memories of us before I leave."

"I'm not sure if that's a great idea. I will get even more attached and by that time you will find me in your suitcase when unpacking in Miami."

He laughs. It was a good melody to listen to. I would want to hear that tune every day if I could. "I had to at least try and ask." He brings his hand to my cheek and carrases it. His stare lingers on my lips for a second too long before capturing my stare. "I would love to kiss you right about now."

I wasn't sure if he was asking for permission or letting that be known.

"Then kiss me," I tell him. He didn't wait another second. I found myself lost in the moment and wanted to replay it over and over. It would never get old, it was just so magical.

"I want to really spend my last days with you," he admits. He was pushing for it and this time I wasn't going to tell him no. I would regret not sharing these last moments with him, but then again I will hate that all I have left of him are just memories and not the real thing.

"What do you want to do now?" I ask him.

"Whatever you want," he whispers. He stands up and gives me his hand to hold onto.

"Gomes...," I hold back my words.

"What is it?" He asks.

"Is one of the reasons behind your decision to leave Zack?" I crossed my fingers and wished it wasn't. There was nothing with Zack, not anymore that is and I would hope he didn't make such a big decision based on what he thought he saw last night.

"Do we have to talk about him?"

"So he is one of the reasons?"

"I'm not sure if you're yet over him, Rossita."

"You're not serious, right?"

"He is always around you. Why did he feel comfortable to be in your room alone with you?"

"You still speak to your ex and spend alone time with Chloe all the time."

"So you don't see anything wrong with you alone with your ex in a room together?"

"That question sounds rather hypocritical coming from you."

"You're absolutely right, but I can't help the way I feel."

"I get it, Gomes, but nothing happened between me and him," I assure him. Zack's attempt to kiss me flashes to mind.

"What? Did something happen?" Gomes asks.

"He did kiss me, but I pushed him away. He was drunk and it was very sloppy if you ask me."

"I don't want to be thinking of him kissing you, not right now and definitely not when I leave."

"I don't want to be thinking of you sharing a bed with Holly but this is the position we are in."

"Let's not talk about the future."

I agreed. I cupped his cheek and kissed him for dear life and this is the part where I say we lived happily ever after but no, there was none of that.