🐞MTOABB🐞

Katelyn walks up to me with her notebook in her hand. She towers me as she comes to a standstill next to my seat.

"May I sit there." She points at the seat next to mine - Gomes' seat. It was his seat and only his. I didn't have permission to lend his seat to anyone. But then again he's not here - he wouldn't know. If he was here then he would be sitting in his seat, but is he here? -- No.

I am overthinking this - just say 'yes' and let the girl sit. That way you won't be much of a loner sitting all by yourself -- but in retrospect, I would be a loner whose mind is focused on the lesson occurring in front of the class. But then my eyes would gaze to my right to find that Gomes isn't there. My mind would then wonder and I'd let it, till the little bell chimes for the exit break.

"Sure," I tell her as I make eye contact. I didn't mean it, and if that makes me a horrible person then there is no way that I can defend myself. I just wanted to see his living-breathing statue right there where it usually is, that can't possibly make me such a bad person.

"Quiet down everyone," Mr. Miller says. He walks in wearing his everyday worn out jeans which he has complimented today with a plain white t-shirt.

Mr. Miller always tries to get us excited for the year but for most of these students, they've already begun living their adulthood. Just yesterday I heard that Gabi from Chem class didn't come to school because she had to visit the abortion clinic on the other side of town. Maybe that's just rumours, but every time she walks past, someone is bold enough to make a comment. Mr. Miller doesn't have to worry about us - regardless of what he says, rebellious is the trademark of youth and we've been living up to that reputation for so long that it's now become a part of us.

"We'll be using the assembly hall from next week onwards," he says. "Make sure you are not absent during that week. This upcoming task will be the last one for the semester so make it count." He turns, making his way to his table. This was the usual routine - he announces our next assignment and calls it a day as he sits down. He turns the projector on as he displays an example on the screen of what we should expect to deliver next week.

Everybody stands to leave, each body brushing against another as they all try to leave through the same door. I follow behind the crowd as we all join with the rest of the school in the hallway. Some bodies push against me as they move in the opposite direction. My feet don't stop as I continue my trail.

I was planning on taking the bus to his house since I still don't have a car and Chloe didn't pitch at school today-- No! I hope it's not what I'm thinking. They wouldn't be together. I left Chloe with Brody this morning and we'll leave it at that.

I reach my locker in under three minutes - I'm faster when I'm walking alone. Katelyn pops up next to me right as I'm opening my locker.

"Would you like to hang out? We could talk about politics...." she stares at me, waiting for me to squeal in excitement, "or boys," she then adds. I just nod, not because I was interested in talking about boys -- I already had one and right now he was AWOL. Deep down I know I wanted to hang out with Katelyn, it's just that right now, all that my mind could think about was why he wasn't right here with me and why he didn't let me know last night on the phone. He knows how my brain cells like to wonder and speculate. Ugh, Prinse - you know better than to leave me feeling this way.

I have never really had friends, maybe in Kindergarten but do they really count? And don't mention Kay who lives in the same street as me. I know I'm weird, but she... she is unique.

I grab my latest reading book and shove it into my bag. I hadn't read it in months - ever since Zack and I had gotten together. And then when Prinse and I's ship started, I had completely forgotten that I was even reading a book.

"BJ's?" She asks and I nod affirmatively. BJ truly owes all its earnings to the students who spend their morning, afternoon and evening there. A day doesn't go by where you don't spot a teenager grabbing a quick bite at the little shop.

I lightly pull the seat belt and strap myself in as she starts the car. "I've been wanting to talk to you for a while now," she says as she pulls out of the parking lot.

"Me too," I tell her, surprised that this was something that she had thought of before.

"Did you end up resolving your boy issues?" She asks, referencing back to when I had my meltdown in the restroom.

"That's a good question, but somehow I'm not able to provide you with an accurate answer."

"It's an easy yes or no?" She was right, it should have been that easy. I shouldn't have even thought about it, but when Gomes keeps disappearing and reentering my life, it's difficult to distinguish between having or not having any 'boy issues'. When he disappears without a simple text or a call, it makes me wonder how serious I am to him. This is me when I've allowed my mind to come out to play - I'm a constant ball of mess, overthinking even the smallest things. Like when the waitress asked me what to drink and I looked at her dumbfounded.

"Rossita?" Katelyn speaks up and I shift my gaze in her direction. "What will you be having?" She asks me.

"Whatever you're having," I tell her.

"So two glasses of ice water coming right up," the waitress says, confirming our order with her miniscule notebook in her hand.

"Goodness no," I abruptly say and they both turn to stare at me. "I can't have water after the day I've had - a chocolate milkshake with extra cream, please." The waitress nods in approval as she leaves with our order dotted down on her paper.

"What did you think I had ordered?" Katelyn asks, amused.

"I'm not sure, but water was definitely not on my list," I laugh.

"Ice water," she corrects me as if it was meant to make any difference. But I agree with her either way.

We talked some more and the conversation stirred from me to movies then finally landed on her, which is where we've currently been sitting. It didn't bother me at all that she couldn't help her verbal diarrhea when speaking on her favourite topic - politics. I listened, not like a girl who would give anything to be somewhere else - no, I listened so tentatively that I held onto her every word. It was how passionate she delivered each and every syllable that kept me intrigued.

Today -- I didn't get to discover another one of Gomes' secrets, because today was solely made for me to find a friend and she goes by the name of Katelyn.