No Bad Boys, Just Me

"Confessions of a Hopeless Romantic: Embracing the Beauty of Love and Vulnerability"

No, months haven't passed since he left. I'm not done with school. If it was up to me, time would skip where I don't think of him daily. Fairytales are full of shit. Where is my 'happily ever after'? That's when you know it doesn't exist, so stop looking for it and take my word as proof that boys break your heart.

I woke up this morning feeling sadder than usual. Chloe was packing to leave for LA and it felt like my person was leaving me.

Is this what losing someone feels like? If it is, I never want to feel like this again.

"You know my flight is only this afternoon right? So we have time to do some bold stuff." She pops her head into my room and smiles.

"Like what Chloe?" I sigh, defeated.

"Why are you so down? I will be a call away and will visit during the holidays," she assures me. I knew all of that but my mood didn't care.

"What happened to not wanting to go to college? And now you're going to UC fucking LA, what changed?"

"Plans change and life happens."

"No Chloe, Brody happened, am I right?"

"If I don't go to college what do you suggest I do with my life?" She stares at me, anger spewing from her demeanour.

"Stick to your original plan."

She scoffs, "Right, I should go work at dad's restaurant in New York for the rest of my life. Wake Up Rossita, life isn't rainbows and cupcakes. You of all people should know that considering how you and Prinse left things."

"Why did you have to mention his name? He is dead to me. And I'm sorry that I am sad that you are leaving to go so far away from me." She pulls me in for a hug and we stay like that for a few seconds longer.

Mom enters the room. "Girls, how about we go get lunch?"

"That sounds nice, mom," Chloe answers and mom then leaves the room.

No Bad boys, just me

"You must not forget us when you leave," mom tells Chloe as the waiter places our food on the table.

"How can I forget, Rossita will be nagging me everyday," she teases. That was not true, I wasn't going to nag her, finals were fast approaching and in two months I will be graduating. Life goes by so fast when you're not paying much attention.

"Dig into your food before it gets cold," mom tells me and I nod affirmatively as I dig my fork into the chips and dip it into the barbeque sauce.

"What are you thinking about?" Chloe asks.

"Exams. What's next after that, you understand, right?"

"Yes, but you have a month or so to relax."

"No she doesn't," mom condemns Chloe.

Now this is my family.

Would I swap them with anyone else? No, but on days they make me angry, my answer might not be the same.

"Are you ladies enjoying your food?" The waiter asks as he stands there looking at us. He was cute, I guess but boys are way off my radar until a few good months have passed.

"Yes we are, thank you," mom says to him.

"I think my sister would like your number," Chloe says, smiling at the waiter with her doll eyes.

"Chloe, stop. I'm so sorry about her." I turn to meet his eyes and he smiles.

"I don't mind giving it, unless you don't want it of course," he comments and I'm left with the ball in my court.

Why Chloe? Give me a good reason why you thought this was a good idea? This is what it means to have a sister.

"You must be brave, trying to give my daughter your number in front of me."

"You go mom!" I wanted to shout out loud but opted to scream it in my head instead.

"Her mom?" He asks genuinely confused. "I apologise, you just look so young that I assumed-"

Don't say it. Please don't. Knowing my mom, she will tell him to call her Rebecca and even offer him to sit at the table with us.

"-you were her sister," he finishes his sentence and I'm about done with this conversation.

"Why, you are such a flirt," mom tells him and he chuckles.

"The food is great," I tell him as an attempt for him to leave but he stands there, looking at me.

He writes something on the paper and places it on my side of the table. No surprise that it's his number but I don't plan on calling him.

"Here is her number, just in case she doesn't text you," mom hands him her phone with my number on the screen.

"Seriously mom, what's with both of you?" I say once he finally leaves our table. "I'm fine being on my own. I'm not broken," I try to assure them.

"If that's the case then you won't have a problem texting him," Chloe says, handing me my phone so I can text the boy.

"He seems like a good boy," mom nudges on and I roll my eyes.

"Only because he called you young." I grab my phone from Chloe as I let out an exaggerated sigh.

"I don't even know his name. What do I even say? Hi?"

             No Bad Boys, Just Me

We had just dropped Chloe at the airport and as she boarded the flight, tears stung both my cheeks.

"It's okay. Your sister will be back," mom says, pulling me in for a hug. We stayed there for a few more minutes and mom bought me ice-cream to calm me down. It worked, it always does.

We got home and it was back to the same old routine with just one less person in the house. Mom went up to her mom. I stayed downstairs for an hour or two then made my way up to my room.

Hi. Sorry for the late text, my shift just ended _unknown

You can block this number if you feel uncomfortable _unknown

Both text messages come in seconds after each other. It was eleven at night and for one second I thought it was him. Yes, him. I was annoyed at myself because I had made so much progress but it seems my heart was still holding onto hope. Stupid heart.

Hi. Night texts mean you're looking for something not so innocent. Is that the case with you? _Rossita

No, of course not. I just didn't want to forget to text you _unknown

You don't seem like the type to chase a guy _unknown

Looks like he overestimated my ability to chase or maybe I'm not living up to my potential.

I'm too expensive to chase a guy, right?

You should not assume _Rossita

So you chase guys? _unknown

Does that mean if I didn't text you, you would have? _unknown

No _Rossita

Ouch _unknown

It's not because of you, I'm just not looking for anything serious _Rossita

Is he still controlling me all the way in Miami? Does he have control over when I decide to move on? Come on, Rossita. You've been doing so well.

Then we don't have to be serious _unknown

I don't even know your name _Rossita

That means you didn't look at my name tag _unknown

Shit. Was I meant to? _Rossita

I mean, then you would have known my name _unknown

Are you going to tell me your name or will you remain nameless? _Rossita

If you come back again tomorrow you will find out _unknown

I thought you said I didn't look like the type to chase _Rossita

But you said otherwise, so... _unknown

It was nice meeting you, nameless stranger _Rossita

You're no fun _unknown

I stopped responding after that. I needed to get some sleep. The longer I stayed awake, the easier my heart took control over my mind. It was bound to make me think of him.

I'm not that strong. I wrote to him a couple of times but never had the courage to press send. I'm glad I didn't. In order to truly get over him, I need to erase every part that reminds me of him.

It's been a week since I last saw him - since we last spoke. He never put in the effort to get in touch so maybe he has forgotten about me.

Ervan _unknown

That's my name. Hope we get to know each other some more, Rossita _Ervan