I woke up in the middle of the night with my heart racing and my skin damp. It wasn't from Liam's arm that was hugging me, pressing me to his warm body.

The bad dream I had sucked me into a whirlwind of worries and doubts. Too much happened too fast, and I struggled to get to grips with my new reality and my relationship with the guy in my bed.

He was lying beside me, hugging my waist and wearing a peaceful expression on his face as his chest rose and fell following a rhythmic pattern.

Careful not to disturb Liam's hopefully dreamless sleep, I lifted his arm off me and sat on the bed. A quick scan of the bedroom floor helped me locate Liam's tee I put on before shoving my feet in my fluffy slippers and leaving the room.

The kitchen would be my preferred spot to hide in, but I went out to the balcony instead.

Warm yellow light in some windows of the building opposite ours was a sure sign that I wasn't the only sleepless person on our street. I took in the view in front of me, gripping the railing. Tumultuous thoughts began to creep into my mind, and I tried to block them to no avail.

I wanted Liam. He woke up a part of me that felt each caress of his intensely and wanted to respond to his touch. I loved his kisses, and I enjoyed kissing and touching him.

The cautious part of me was begging me to go slow. The insecure one was telling me to be skeptical about the things he said. The sensible one kept reminding me that it was time I let go of thoughts that held me back, not allowing me to be happy and move past what happened.

Unfortunately for me, Liam wasn't right. I had an issue. What he witnessed was just a mild episode of panic. The ones I used to have were way worse.

Once, I started to feel bad during a party. My ex called me a drama queen, and I bolted out of his friend's apartment, desperate for some fresh air.

Luckily, Ava was the one who saw me throwing up on the sidewalk during her usual evening run. She led me to our place and made me a cup of chamomile infusion to help my stomach, distracting me with talks about some of the books she read. Ava didn't push and didn't ask questions, but every time I went out with my ex, her eyes gleamed with barely disguised disapproval.

Letting Liam see me lose it like that would've been embarrassing. I already showed him the worst parts of me, getting drunk in the club and saying God knows what on our way back to our place, not to mention the things he refused to tell me about, like how he took care of me when I felt sick.

I wanted to give us a chance. The way I felt when I was with Liam wasn't something I'd experienced before. Being with him felt natural and effortless. There was no pretending, just honesty and interest: that, and our explosive chemistry.

I promised him I would think about letting him take things further. I craved it and him, and my answer would be yes if I didn't have issues and needed help. Ellie might be the one who could lend me a hand with that, if she was still my friend. I wouldn't blame her if she was angry with me.

Sighing, I closed my eyes and hugged myself, trying to get rid of the cold-induced goosebumps on my skin.

"Sweetheart, what the hell?"

The balcony door slid open to reveal Liam. Crossing the short distance separating us, he came up to me and cupped my cheeks with his warm hands. "What happened?"

"I needed air," I said.

"Barely dressed when it's freezing out here? Come on, let's go back to bed."

"Go; I'll be there in a while."

Liam rolled his eyes. "If stubbornness was a sport, you'd be a champion."

I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Do that again, and I'm repeating this morning."

"What if I want it?"

"Not helping, sweetheart. Come on."

Liam grabbed my hand and all but dragged me into the apartment and then to my bedroom.

"Stay here," he said, leaving me in the room and going somewhere.

I slid under the comforter, slightly shaking from having been in the cold for too long.

Liam re-entered the room. I saw that he was holding a mug.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Hot milk with a bit of honey. It will warm you up and help you sleep."

I smiled, reaching for the drink. "Thank you."

Liam sat next to me, leaning against the headboard. Taking my hand in his, he pulled me to him and made me sit between his legs.

"What were you thinking about outside?" he asked, kissing the back of my neck.

I decided to settle for the half-truth. "Ellie and the way I screwed up at the party. I upset her with my words and made it look like I was jealous of the life she has. I'm not sure she will  forgive me."

Liam kissed me again, this time, on the cheek. "She will forgive you. You didn't do anything inexcusable, sweetheart. People screw up. I did with Aiden."

"How?"

"By saying nothing when he said he proposed. He expected a different reaction from his friend. I guess I projected my shit on him, but now we are good. You and Ellie will be okay, too. Now, drink your milk, and I will cuddle you."

"What if I want more than cuddles?" I whispered.

Liam's warm lips trailed kisses down my neck to my shoulder. "Then, I'll give it to you."

I did want more, but I wasn't sure what we could do without taking the next step— the one I didn't think I was ready for.

Liam seemed to have a different idea on his mind. His wet mouth glided over the skin on my neck as he slid his hands under my tee and rested them on my stomach, rubbing circles on the skin there.

My breathing got shallow. I continued sipping the milk, trying to ignore every nerve ending Liam's caresses woke up.

"How about I do something else to help you sleep?" I heard him whisper in my ear.

"Okay," I quietly said, resting the empty mug on the nightstand.

Liam was looking at something on it. I didn't get what his gaze fell upon at first. Then, he grabbed Ellie's present and twirled the bottle in his hands. "Body oil?"

"Yeah. Ellie gave it to me."

Liam hummed his approval. "You trust me, right?" he asked, kissing my neck.

"You know, I do. Why?"

"Because I want to do something we haven't done yet," Liam murmured.

Still holding me in his arms with my back to his chest, Liam opened the bottle and put it next to him. His hands lifted my tee, and he got rid of it.

Feeling self-conscious, I crossed my arms in front of my bare chest.

"No," whispered Liam. "You said you trusted me, and that means letting me see you."

The room would be fully immersed in darkness, but the lights on our street allowed us to see each other.

"Rest your head against my shoulder," Liam said. "Just relax, sweetheart."

"Okay." I obliged, tilting my head to the side and placing a kiss on Liam's jaw.

"Good girl," he whispered, pouring a tiny amount of oil on his palms and rubbing them together before resting them on my skin and starting to massage me gently.

I surrendered to the sensation until Liam put his hands on my breasts, making my eyes flare.

"I love touching you." I heard him whisper. "Now, kiss me."

I put my lips on his, and Liam opened his mouth immediately, making me deepen the kiss when his tongue stroked mine, matching the slow, sensual movements of his hands on my chest. He seemed to be determined to attack all my senses at once, caressing and kissing me in a way that made me gasp for air without being able to take a lungful of it.

"Feel how much I want you," Liam said, moving slightly, making me feel his excitement. His hands knew exactly how to touch me, and when his thumbs grazed the sensitive peaks of my breasts, I wished he put his mouth on them.

Our hard breathing mixed with my moans, and then Liam's when I sucked on his tongue and moved my lips to his neck, mimicking the way he kissed me that first night, licking and biting his skin and burying my fingers in his hair, bringing his face closer to mine so that I could kiss his lips, again and again, trying a different angle each time to deepen the kiss, desperate to make him feel the same pleasure I felt.

"We have to stop now, sweetheart," Liam rasped out between heated kisses, still palming my breasts.

"I don't want to," I complained.

"And I don't want to leave you alone in bed and take cold showers for the rest of the night." Liam sighed, kissing my lips once more. "I cannot resist you. I can't stop wanting you. I can't stop thinking about you."

I finally opened my eyes and looked into his as he pecked my lips and slid his hands to my stomach.

"Let's put something on you because if we don't, I am getting rid of that piece of lace on your hips and putting my lips on you."

Liam took my discarded shirt and put it on me, laying me down and making me press my cheek to his hard chest.

"Sweet dreams, sweetheart," he said, giving me one last kiss.

***

"Sky."

Peeling my eyes open, I saw that Liam was dressed, standing next to my bed.

"I have to go now. Aiden is already downstairs. I pinned Tim's schedule to the fridge so that you know when he has his soccer practice this week. Thank you again for helping me out."

"It's nothing." I smiled.

Sighing, Liam leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. "I wish I didn't have to go anywhere. Don't miss me too much, sweetheart."

"I won't," I said, making Liam grin and slap my bum hidden beneath the comforter.

When the door behind him closed, I exhaled a shaky breath and failed to keep the tears from starting to fall.

The events of the last week paired with those of last night, falling apart with Ellie and missing Liam already like a pathetic clingy child made me sob as I undressed and got under the hot shower.

After breakfast, I put on a tear-jerker on the flat screen in the living room, and broke into sobs yet again because I hadn't talked to my best friend since Friday, and I missed her. I missed both Liam and Ellie.

When Ellie's tentative knocks resounded in my apartment, I cried again, this time from relief.

I tried to smooth my unbrushed hair and padded to the hallway.

Ellie walked in and her eyes widened when she spotted crumpled tissues on the couch. She might have expected to see an ice-cream container with a spoon stuck in it, but I didn't have any.

"I'm ditching sugar and carbs." I glanced at her.

"Why?" she quietly asked.

I shrugged, and we sat on the couch, neither of us knowing what to say.

Ellie spoke first. "Sky, I—"

"Ellie, don't. What I said, and how I said it— it wasn't what best friends do, and I feel ashamed because I know that you'd never be jealous. I was, Ellie. I was jealous and frustrated because, for the last three months, it's been one low blow after another. Just when I thought things were looking up for me, Liam told me about Paul. You got engaged, and the two of you looked so happy and in love, I just..." I said, deciding that honesty was the best option.

"I get it, Sky. Right now, my life is pretty awesome, but it wasn't always like this. And you know what? It's still far from perfect. For the next few weeks, I'll be slaving over textbooks for the exams at Bright's. I'm still waiting to tell my mom the truth about being with, living with, and getting engaged to Aiden. When I do, she'll be pissed, and hurt, because I shouldn't have kept it from her, but I did it because I'm a coward who's still afraid of my uncle and what he can do."

"When I said those things, I wasn't thinking about any of it, Ellie."

"I know."

"And I love you and want only the best for you. I just want something good to happen to me, too."

"I know, and you deserve it. It's just that...I don't want to have to keep things from you. I don't want to keep quiet when something good happens to me, because you are my best friend and I want to share things with you, the good and the bad ones. I've never had many friends, Sky, and our friendship is important to me regardless of Aiden and my love for him."

"Will you forgive me?" I asked, knowing that I would be devastated if she didn't. "I was stupid, but it won't happen again. I'd hate losing you, Ellie."

"Of course, I forgive you, silly." Ellie crushed me into a hug, giving me a genuine, warm smile. "On one condition."

"Which?"

"We're going to have some wine at my place where we do have ice-cream, and you'll tell me everything that's going on in that head of yours so I can help you like friends do. Then, we'll psychoanalyze the hell out of each other and forget this whole misunderstanding happened."

"I'm all in." I kissed Ellie's cheek and rushed to my room.

As my eyes took in the bed and the events of last night made me blush, my resolve strengthened.

As soon as we were at Ellie's place, I would carry out my plan and ask her what I needed to ask so that I could solve my issues.