I hate everybody. Why they don't die? If people read all these things, they will think I am crazy. Haha but they don't know what I have felt all these years. Yeah. Maybe people think I am the lucky one. I don't have to worry about anything. But they don't know what I am worrying. I have lost a friend. Haha it is just because he think I don't need him. But I know that this is not the right time. I cannot need him in the way that he want. So, I can't say that i still want to be his friend. Deep down my heart, i know that he likes me. Whether he likes me or not, I don't like the way he always asks if I could stand beside him or if I could stand there for him. I cannot. He is not that important. So why does he always ask me all these things? If he doesn't say anything. We can still be friend. Why??????

Haha

I have had the most terrible time in my life. Few months ago, me and my boy friend broke up and he didn't even care at all. And because we are classmates, I have to meet him everyday I go to school. I always try my best to not think about him, but I can't. It is just too hard to forget a person who you used to love. I hate him. I want him to feel sad or guilty for what he had done to me. Back to the time when I was still in a relationship, I tried my best to make him happy, but he always let me down. He could not give me what I need. I just wanted somebody who could help me. I had my own trouble. And he made me feel like he is not the right person. And it's true. He is not the right person. I am just too tired. I just want somebody who can huge me and give me the warmth that I need. I don't know why, but maybe I have grown too quickly and I could not feel the warmth from my family. I felt lonely in my relationship and felt lonely in my family. So, I think that the best thing to do is to let it go. I told him to stop. And we broke up. I felt nothing at all. I didn't wanna cry, but nobody would be there if I cried. No one understands me.

Then, my story went on. I had to apply for university. And when I was tired, another person went out of my life. It was the boy in the first paragraph. He said as if I have done something to him, but I did nothing. I'm just too tired. I didn't want to explain. I didn't want. And he felt angry. And he let go. He left me there. I felt nothing. I didn't want to accept that I felt sad. I had to be strong, so nobody could break me down. I didn't want to open my heart.