‘I have lost my thoughts. I am a panicked blob of pulpy flesh in search of a part of me that relates through recognition and verbalization to my environment. And suddenly, all the songs of depression are about me. This feeling is terrifying.' Lilah spun through her chaotic brain space for something to fill the emptiness. 'I am a lost body in search of myself. A girl to fill in the communication and beauty of words to make me at peace with the world around me. This experience of lost thoughts occurs to me when I awaken, especially abruptly. I feel no connectivity to my beloved objects. And having a mate, sometimes I wonder what that word means. If every wolf-blood truly has a mate, or is it just me?' A stifling wave of fear swept over Lilah once more, as tears blinked at the brim of her eyes. She rolled in a fetal position, from one edge of the bed to the other.

A terrible sickening dread gave her goosebumps. The thought of breaking Asher's heart slowed her blood. Fear shimmered throughout Lilah's body as she sobbed into her pillow. It was hard to breathe and live. She who was once sailing, in the ocean of life, was now sinking.

'Right now, nothing hurts me because nothing matters. However, I am not free of pain, rather I build walls from it and isolate myself to where it becomes easier to simply not speak and hope the world forgets me. Even anger and rage die. Nothing is worth being angry over. It has no value. This also robs me of the ability to enjoy anything, because of the feeling of not wanting to build up another disappointment. It’s easier to simply pass on anything potentially enjoyable because it could also turn painful as well. Love, hope, trust, loyalty, and even friendship become lies, even hateful to a broken person. I speak from my experience. You don’t want what I feel. To be broken is emptiness itself.’

“We have to buy the drinks on time. The decorations and refreshments should be ready, at least an hour before the commencement of the event.” Benita explained while Lilah was absent-minded, staring at nothingness. “Everything should be ready.” Benita pointed out.

She turned to Lilah and realized that she was withdrawn. Lost in thoughts.

“Lilah!” Benita called, and she was still. “Lilah!”

She tapped her shoulders, and she stifled. Jolted in fear. Lilah quickly held her head in pain, running her temple simultaneously by its side.

“Where is your mind? Is everything alright?”

“Ugh!” Lilah exhaled, dropping her hands tiredly. Making an etch in her memory.

“What are you thinking of?”

Lilah faked a smile. “Mum, it’s nothing.”

Benita stared at her with furrowed eyes, and she knew. “Are you sure?”

“I was just thinking about the wedding preparations, that’s all.”

Benita blushed. “So, what exactly were you thinking about?”

“I want to have a grand wedding, mum. This would be my dream wedding, unlike the other one. I want it by the side of the ocean and I need other wolf-bloods in other packs to attend as well. It should be the grandest wedding.” Lilah concluded.

“I can see that you’re serious about it but if that’s what you want. Then no problem. Conan is the beta of the Blue Moon pack, anyway. A grand wedding would be befitting.” She suggested. “So, is that what you were thinking about?”

“Mum, don’t worry. I’ll discuss the rest with Eliana and the wedding planner.” Lilah rolled her eyes with a satisfying smile.

Benita blushed, proud of her daughter’s decision. Marrying Conan would uplift their hierarchical status. And if Lilah births a son? He may become the next beta after his father. To be a beta’s wife with pride is better than being an Alpha’s wife with shame.

“You were saying...” Lilah brought it up.

“As I was saying, everything should be in order.”

Mr. and Mrs. Wulfric, Lilah’s parents, had fixed the wedding date. It would be in a month.

He blazed in the night, his ivory skin almost lucid, as if caught in the distant hue of the streetlight. His black hair matched his onyx eyes as the smoke from his pipe of cigarette came in a tight snake from the middle of his mouth. Eliana’s eyes clung to him, desperately trying to understand his familiarity. It was Jack Ericsson, the guy she’d met, two months ago.

“Are you alright?” His voice came low and hoarse without turning his back on her.

“Yes.” Lilah’s throat croaked in confusion. She realized she had been staring at him for a while and took a seat beside him.

Eliana was angry but watching his smirk, confused her on where to start. She needed to connect with him before revealing the truth.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” He gave a half smile as his eyes apologetically fell on hers. Another plume of smoke cloaked his features.

“You live around here?” Eliana's words fell from her lips as she gazed at him, interested.

“Yeah, we spent the night together. Didn’t we?”

Jack had a brown lathered jacket with fur at its collar. He smiled at her joke. Jack and Eliana spoke like pals. A mix of prodding and teasing.

“A bottle of champagne, please,” Eliana ordered. Placing it between them. She poured an amount into a wine cup.

Jack added more weed into his burning pipe, smoking on it.

“That’s weed.” Eliana pointed.

“Yes. Want some?” He offered, motioning her to collect the pipe but a smile spread across her lips as she rejected.

“I don’t smoke.” She replied, watching him suck on it while she sipped from the cup of champagne without guilt.

Eliana had originally picked up the champagne to make him drink till he got light-headed. He’s human, after all.

Eliana rolled her eyes at him. “Why do you smoke weed?”

“Your question should have been, why do people smoke weed?” He rephrased, and she nodded in agreement. “People may smoke weed recreationally for a variety of reasons, such as to relieve stress, escape uncomfortable situations and feelings, or to self-treat a mental health condition.”

“So, which are you suffering from?”

“Suffering? Don’t let me laugh.” He chuckled, and then he stopped. Jack couldn’t help but think she was a spy. “The world is full of suffering. It’s also full of overcoming it. They filled life with mystery, loneliness, and suffering. I can fake happiness... What are you gonna choose, sadness or love?”

“Sad love.”

He smiled at her joke. Jack and Eliana spoke like pals. A mix of prodding and teasing. Eliana took another sip from the wineglass. Once he gulped the cup of champagne, Jack filled the empty canteen and drank it. Placing the empty cup in front of her as if saying, it’s your turn.

“Not bad. It seems you love competition.” Eliana admitted.

“Competition?” He repeated. “Life is simple. It didn’t need competition."

The humour on his face brunched his checks, accented by dimples. It made him too cute for weed.

“So, you got a girlfriend or... Are you married?” Eliana asked, hitting the nail on the head. Not to be played like how Josh did.

“Why do you ask?” Eliana didn’t lift her face, but Jack’s eyes met a wince of her smile.

“Nothing. I’m just curious. Who are you, Jack?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know.” Jack stifled his grin, clearly entertained by Eliana’s audacity. The two dimples that dotted his cheeks surprised her.

“Ring-Ring!” A buzz interrupted his settled smile and Jack immediately pulled to the side and pulled out his vibrating phone from the side of his ripped jeans.

“Ring-Ring-Ring!”

Eliana gave a tight-lipped smile as she watched him.

“Excuse me.” He mumbled, walking outside to receive the call.

Eliana brought out her phone from a small envelope purse. Sliding the phone’s screen, she saw the time. It was already 10:00 p.m. A sharp intake of air escaped her lips as she hissed. Already bored.

Pole dancers were twisting their curvy bodies against the poles. Eliana rolled her eyes at them, curious about what the call was all about. The blaring music was disturbing. It got to her now that she was alone.

Eliana stood up immediately and followed the other way out. To hear him properly, her fingers gently brushed a tendril of light-blonde hair from her face and delicately tucked it behind her left hair. Slowly, consciously, she listened.

“What?! Another dead body?”