I am lying prone, lifeless in my bed, cold and devastated like a body waiting for its last breath. 

I think I have slept for a few hours after gulping two or three bottles of wine and vodka whatever I could grab first.

God! I need to refill my stock of alcohol.

My cell has stopped ringing and bugging me any longer, since I abused Jerry well.

I'm still wondering why I woke up?

"Aauuu…" I let a cry escape, as my head spins around when I try to turn my body.

A soft hand lands at the back of my head to support and help  me to turn around.

I got a bit startled as I find Estella leaning over me, still supporting at the back of my neck.

I look at her face, out of shock but she looked into my eyes as our eyes meet.

"What are you…" I try to question her presence but my head gave me a sudden wave as if a lot of broken glasses trying to pierce out from my skull.

My hand reach immediately to press against at the spot then whole forehead.

"Calm down. Rest here and have this lemonade. It will help in hangover." She says as she reaches for a glass at the side table and makes me to sip from it.

"Yakkk…." I almost puked it all.

"Is it bitter than You?" She says with a smirk and pour a large amount of liquid in my mouth, "have it and rest for some time." She orders as I hold the glass in my hand and makes her way back to the kitchen area.

"What are you doing here?" I slip a bit back to take support at back of bed and completed my question with closed eyes, trying to control the whirling scenario in front of my eyes.

"Why didn't you pick calls?" Her voice sounds quiet calm with sounds of knife, as if chopping something.

"That's not answer to what I asked." Is she trying to remind me how ashamed I felt and still feel.

"Because that's not what you need to know Ryan." She shows up at the door, leaning against it.

"Ok, then tell me how you got in this apartment?" I inquired looking away from her.

Wait a second! 

Is this my apartment? How it looks so clean and settled? Scotch ! Where is he?

I quickly frisk my room with eyes only just to find him standing near Estella with his wagging tail.

"What happened to my room?" I wondered at her.

"Ah… you had made it a mess. When I stepped here that vase was broken. Well I guess it was a vase, and there was a scenery, there a picture frame. Which you must have broken." She explains gesturing at the front wall of my bed.

Picture frame! I broke it! Damn! How!

I try to get up but my head restraint me from doing so, with a pang and I crumble on floor with a squeal of pain.

She quickly reaches to me," Ryan, calm down. I have kept it safely." I don't have the courage to look at her but the assurance in her voice soothes me a bit. 

I got up with her help, holding the bed and sat on it again. She quickly reaches for covers and spread it over my legs to chest.

"Where is it?" I inquire as She looks up at me but unable to face her I look away and cleared my question," The picture of that frame."

" I know what you are talking about." She pulls the drawer of side table and I can take a sigh of relief as their picture is visible there, "I won't take your family away from You Ryan." She whispers softly.

I look up at her, her eyes have a shine as if a glimpse of something called eternity. I look away from her but she place the picture of my Parents at my chest and leaves from the room.

I'm unable to look at her, or to look at them even in picture. But I feel the strong urge to look at them. It's their first picture with me, as an infant, I'm lying in Mom's arms and She is smiling at me as if found some treasure. While Dad is wrapping his strong arms around us from behind Mom and laughing wholeheartedly. As if We are his trophy over winning the world.

I whip a teardrop as it fell on the picture. My emotions are out of my control. I am not crying, tears are flowing. I can't let a stray tear ruin my only treasure. I hugged them, in picture only. 

Ok! I'm crying now.

I'm crying for a few minutes now and it feels relief to shed some tears. Until I realize She is back and gazing at me, standing at the door.

I turn my face away.

"It's ok to cry Ryan. I didn't know you are someone who believes that Men don't cry." She comments stepping toward me.

"I'm not that kind of Man." I bark at her.

"Then why you trying to hide that You are crying. That you still love them." She says calmly sitting in front of me at chair.

"You said that I had told you everything. Didn't I tell you that I hate them. And Why I hate them?" I reply to her idiotic words placing the picture back in drawer.

"No… You didn't." 

I look away from her and manage my headache somehow to get out of bed. It's worse than I ever had in the past few years.

"What do you want? Why are you here?" I bark at her grabbing the towel before going for a bath.

She is following me, "Stop it Estella! What You Want!" I turned around to scream at her.

"Nothing." The calmness in her tone is irritating me now.

Unable to find any word I enter the bathroom and banged it's door.

As I turn on the shower it's warm drops hits on my face. It feels good. I can continue this for hours,maybe then I would not need to face her.

"Ryan, come out fast if you don't like cold pasta."  Her voice comes following by a light knock at door.

"Ok, if you don't want I will have it on my own." She adds and maybe walks away.

I turn off the shower and walk out in rage.

"Answer me first, What you want Estella? Why are you behaving like nothing has happened? And more than anything else. Stop acting like my girlfriend! Because we hardly even knows each other." I grab her arm from behind to turn her to face me.

"You might not know me, but you are not a stranger for me Ryan. And your questions." She replies calmly releasing her arm from my hand.

"I was worried about you so when I called Jeremy to find about your whereabouts, I had to come to see you." She explains as if looking after me is her self proclaimed Job!

"You are not my guardian Estella. So back off!" I tell her almost in threatening manner.

"Ok, I will. Once I make sure that you are not getting me wrong, I will walk out of your place." She adds hugging herself as if conscious of something. Her eyes strays down at me for a moment and she looks away.

I look down at myself just to realize that all I'm wearing is a towel around my waist. I came out of shower in so much anger that I forgot to grab the robe too.

"Embarrassed? Good you should be!" I comment at her discomfort and walk toward the shelf to grab another bottle of vodka.

"You should have thought before trespassing into my apartment." I add up evilly opening my bottle before gulping a large portion of the strong substance from it.

"Ryan, you were not picking calls since you had argued with Jeremy, yesterday. He was worried too. So he arranged your apartments keycard for me, so I can be here and talk to you." She looks at me and walks a few steps in my direction, "and clarify a few things."

"Ok… Clarifications. You might know how much I need this thing. Don't you?" I replied to her words having more alcohol just to drag me back into the world of darkness so my mind doesn't bother me any longer with my hovering past and thoughts.

'Clarification' as if Mom gave me any clarification before going, as if this can change anything, as if this can get my rotting senses back to life.

"Ryan stop drinking, look at yourself." She steps closer to hold my hand to restrain me from drinking.

I grab her closer by waist,"Why? You have something more interesting to distract me, Miss Estella?" I commented against her face, pulling her closer, so close that She can feel my warm breath on her soft, tempting skin.

"Stop it Ryan!" She pushes me away to get out of my hands and steps backwards.

"Why? Didn't you mean it when you step in my life, knowing all my secrets? Didn't you make fun of me behind my back? Whenever I faked to be happy and content with my life." I can feel something boiling inside me and I can't hold it back anymore,  "Or you are just interested in making fun of me instead of having fun with me. Wait, wait, where is Jerry? He was with you in all this. He just spilled it by mistake. Seems like he's not good at playing like You."

I step ahead to hold her hand back and restrained her from leaving.

She looks at my hand over her hand and then look up at me. 

There are tears in her eyes, the way she is looking at me is something that I can't read. What is it?

Hatred? Disgust? Anger?

Or just pity?

My grip turn loose at her and I walk away from her, back to my bottle. I grabbed it to drink the remaining of it at one go 

I'm fine with rest all but I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I'm not weak. I'm not pity worthy mere creature. 

I have survived all these years without them. I can live alone for the rest of my life as well.

"Get Out!" I mumble between lips as I know she must have left by now.