The guy was already on his 4th time. We are both sweaty. I could feel the semen dripping and leaving splashes on the dark red sheets.
The orange light of the evening came through the small window of the hotel. those little moments where we stopped and our bodies didn't collide. The bed didn't creak and we didn't moan. you could hear the traffic on the street
We both came at the same time. We stopped and he lay down next to me. he was breathing heavily. We spent several minutes in silence. I was kinda shy but before the hour was up I wanted us to do it a 5th time.

I asked him but he said he would rather eat something.

accept I really wanted a little more sex with him.

I took a shower but he was just sitting on the bed watching me take a shower
(I had left the door open so he could see me and take a shower with me but he only started talking from the bed)

"How did you Think to work on this?"

the guy asked with his loser voice. He was a high school guy. It was obvious that it was his first time.

Several answers ran through my head. many of them honest but they will made me look like a nymphomaniac guy. Others were more professional but they did not convey why I want to work on this.

"Well.. I had always wanted to work like this."

"You're weird"
I didn't like that answer but I didn't say anything.
"Well, there are more people who do this because they like it. And this is your first time?"
"Yes, and yours selling yourself?"
"Eh yes" I responded somewhat awkwardly.

I came out of the bathroom naked to put on my clothes (I wanted him to see me naked for longer) we left the hotel and we headed to the nearest Mall.

T

here we went to the nearest Starbucks. We started talking very casually. Even some guys thought we were dating. we bought some things and when we left the mall the sky turned from orange to a bluish purple. before turning black

We said goodbye and I walked to my apartment. I texted my best friend. to let him know that it had gone well.

"Congratulations, now you are a whore" He wrote to me

"And I always will be" I responded hornily.

I came home with a new problem. Now I had a secret. For me everything was new and fun. But later i  discover how complicated it is to lead a secret life as a prostitute. It's amazing how life goes around. I would never have thought I would be a sex worker. but now I find myself here. trying to keep this up forever

When I was in the apartment lobby I looked at the messages from potential clients at the phone.
It was a new fun but scary world for me. I didn't know what I was doing but I want more. I want to work on this forever.
from that day where I committed prostitution for the first time I felt like a new person. and my life changed forever

although I didn't fully know what had changed. I entered a world of secrecy where I would have to fight to maintain this decision. I didn't know it was difficult. I had forgotten how difficult it is to keep a secret. I went up the stairs and went to my father's apartment feeling a sea of ​​emotions

My whole life changed that cold day in January 2024. where I started practicing prostitution

I started to feel so guilty and horny for literally having a double life. I had a separate phone to contact my clients. I had bought a cheaper phone and put the number on a porn site where sexual services are requested. I specified that I was a gay man and that I would only have sex with other men.

although having a double life at such a young age makes you paranoid.

(Well, not that young. I was 18. But mostly you expect a double life from someone in his 30s or 50s. )

I have had several moments where I thought they discovered me

I felt so paranoid that sometimes I want to stop lying and tell my family and friends that I am a prostitute But I knew that continuing to lie was the only way to preserve this job that I love so much.

The truth was that he didn't have much to hide. Sometimes I just said I was going out with my friends. But I felt bad lying to my father

. We both live in a cozy apartment with great views of the city. he is too young. and he had no problems when I told him I'm gay. On the contrary, he was excited because I had already found my identity. I feel that from that day on I felt him more like a friend.
It's one of the reasons why I feel bad lying to him

Why do people view prostitution so badly? People like me want to work on it without bad intentions. but people keep calling it something immoral and easy money.

Sometimes I have been about to confess to my father that his beloved son is a prostitute who is fucked by strangers.

Sometimes I feel like telling the truth about me would be the best thing. But I'm afraid that he sees it in a negative way like the rest.

One day I plan to raise enough money to buy an apartment and move. Maybe that way it will be easier to keep the secret. Maybe that way I'll work even more. Maybe I can go to alleys and offer my services there. At the moment it scares me but I will do it one day.

Sometimes I'm surprised by what I'm going through. both in a negative and positive way.
I go through the same thing at 18 as sex workers in their 40s or 50s who already have families and children. who are judged for their choice and have to lie to their families But they are older adults and are used to lying without feeling guilty.
But I'm barely an adult.
they lie to their children eh even their therapists (Some are not professionals and judge) Now I will have to go through the same thing but from a younger age. It would sound strange. but it scares me but it makes me horny at the same time

I feel that having to live like this makes me see the clandestinity of my work

If I plan to work on this all my life I would have to always keep the secret. A part of me feels like I'm in my first steps. that I will be able to keep the secret without any guilt in the future

My father arrived home a few minutes after I arrived. we had dinner together talk later. At 9PM I went to sleep. I was planning to start things early tomorrow .