A/n let's just say, delirious, looks like this.....

Vanoss pov

It's funny how when ever you go out with someone, you always tell them there gonna be together until the end, and then next to you know, they either stopped liking you or cheated and you. And to get cheated on, that shit makes you feel bad cause that means you where just not good enough, some guys don't care but to be honest it makes me feel bad. It makes me feel like I'm not as good as people think I am.

But the funny thing is, is that I don't care what they say. Not anymore at least. But I would always ask myself. Why? Why do I still go back to that memory? To bring my self down? To get angry? To get angry at her for cheating on me or to get angry at myself for not being good enough? Why do I still care?

Who really fuckin' knows at this point, and who really cares.

Sydney is in the past. Just like the feelings I had for her and the feeling I use to have in general. I'm happy I bumped into delirious. He makes me feel happy. Makes me feel alive. Makes me feel...free in a way. Sometimes when I think like this, it makes me smile and laugh, cause I can just imagen someone (probably nogla) say I sound like a slutty teenage girl talking about her crush. And it's funny cause it's almost like that.

I can literally go on for hours and hours thinking about delirious without even getting bored. I got up and graved a sketched book my mom gave me a year ago. I graved some of jason's pencils and closed the door. I walked towards my desk and sat down. I blew on the wood and all the dust flew around making me cough.

"Damn"

I shook my head and opened the sketchbook. I smiled and begun to think of delirious. I hummed and begun to draw him. My mom told me I got the good drawing skills from her, and I guess you can say she's right. Her job is painting pictures for people and she gets paid well, just for a simple painting.

I begun to draw the shape of his head and then drew the hair. I painted lines and picked up his messy short hair. I made sure I picked up the detail of his eyes. They where amazing and when I'm done with this drawing, the first thing I want to see is the eyes. I shade in his eyes and mixed it with a few shades of blue. Dark thick eyelashes and eyebrows on fleek (lol). He had a small cute nose and plump lips. Skinny in the top and chubby in the bottom. He had dimples and a straight white smile. He had a beautiful jawline and his cheek bones where just a little visible. Blush covered his cheeks and ran all the way to his small ears sometimes. His collarbone visible from a mile away. His tan-milkyish skin was beautiful and it made his eyes shine brighter. He had small yet big shoulders and in general, he was just a walking sin.

Ones the drawing was done I went to the next page and drew his body only. 

Short yet long legs. He had curves in just all the right places. Skiny yet it fit his figure. Muscles where visible from the back of his white shirt. That megestic ass he had. It was big and round yet not really noticeable unless he was wearing jeans.

I been drawing delirious in my extra time. Drawing him in odd positions and sexual positions as well. Doing naughty things to just holding a flower. I pulled away and sigh.

"I feel like a girl now" I said and laughed. My hand was hurting but I wanted to draw more of him. I just couldn't have enough. I felt a chill run down my spine and seeing him in does odd sexual positions made my body feel hot. I don't know why it just makes me. I felt my pants tighten and I groan. I run my hands down my tights and let out a shaky breathe.

I couldn't stop. I had to let my imagination go wild.

Time skip

I lay on the bed panting as I was done. My lip was busted. I guess I was bitting to hard but then again I don't want my brother hearing does weird noises coming from me. I cleaned everything up and closed the book putting a book mark on it and placed it under my pillow. I heard a knock on my door and my breath hitched. "Yea?" I asked. "Are you okay evan? You haven't gotten out of the room all day" I heard jason say. I can hear my heart beat bounce on my ears and I took a few breathers. "Im okay jason, just tired I guess. It's been- it's been a long day" I said. "Can I come in?" Jason asked. I used the curtains to cover the photos I placed on the wall and checked around if I had anything out of the ordinary.

The room was hot. A little too hot. I opened the windows and turned on the fan. I graved the dirty sheets and thru them inside my restroom. Ones I was done I sit down on the bed and sigh. "Come in" I said. I saw the door nob shake and the door opens.

"Evan, I know something is bothering you" Jason said. I swallowed my lump on my mouth and sigh. "Yea, it's just the day...." I said. "You sound like a depressed girl, evan, what's going on?"

I half smiled and looked up at jason. "Jason, you don't need to worry about me, you should just kick back and drink all the mountain dew you'd like....stop fuzzing over a bitter old teenager, it's just at little face..." I said. He laughs and smiled. "Alright evan, just so you know...we might be different from age and I may not know how a lot shit works but...just so you know, I always got your back" Jason said. "Thank you" I said. He gave me a thumbs up and closed the door. Leaving me alone ones again.

A/n sorry if you where disappointed that you didn't get to see- erm...well read what evan did but, I just think it's too early for that, hope you understand and hope you liked this chapter! Bye!