Khushi Pov

Flickering my lids I open my eyes when a knock on the door disturbs me.

Tossing on the bed, I stared at the door where arnav standing with his hands floating in the air ready to knock again. He could've entered without my permission as he has all the rights and the door is not locked too. But he chose to knock.

Sigh, how he behaves as a gentleman always..

Stuffing my long tendrils on a band I walk towards him.

"Do give your consents to interior designers, they're here" Saying this he left from there. Freshening a bit I joined them on the living room.

"Here she is" He introduced me to them. Next few minutes we discussed what should be done and asked few suggestions from arnav also. Even though he says it's my home, it was equally his too.

Finalising the design they promised to start the work soon. Following them arnav too stood up "I am going outside. Lock the door, be careful. Open the door only after making sure whom at the door" He advised as if I was a small child.

'I am not a child, I can take care of myself' I swallowed my sentence not wanting to hurt him. He is doing everything to make me comfortable.

Nodding I waited until he entered into the lift, before locking the door like he said.

Remembering maya's earlier call which I ignored for few reasons I thought to rang her.

Facing the waves from balcony I dialled her,

"So madam remembers me" Came a taunting even before I could greet her.

"Nothing like that maya, you know.."

"Yeah...Yeah..I know that's why I came to know about your stupid behaviour from meera" I closed my eyes in realization. Now I have to bear her lecture.

"Don't curse me in mind...I swear khushi, if you ignore this topic then I'll never show my face to you" Maya spoke ignoring my silence.

"What you have decided?" Asked she.

I kept silent, keenly noticing the waves which came after another inspire of losing its life at the shore.

"Am asking you khushi" Her stern voice brought me back.

"What?" I uttered diverting my gaze to the waves.

"You dragged jiju all the way from here to goa, what's the matter?"

"Nothing...I don't like to stay there which keeps reminding me of siddharth when his existence is still a question" I replied gripping the balcony grill.

"For god sake, he is not siddharth. He died. He is your PAST...Do you hear me..He is your PAST. Wake up from your dreamland. Open your eyes, see the world, who else gets a lovable husband and in-laws like you. Don't spoil it with your own hands. Grab the opportunity. God give you a wonderful family, Do you even realise their value?" She shouted hoarsely.

"I realised.."

"What?"

Taking a sharp breath I continued "I realised arnav deserves a princess, not me"

"You can...You will become princess khushi, if you change yourself a little" She said desperately trying to make me understand.

"I...I don't know. I wronged him. I can't..."

"You're exaggerating the matter khushi. You loved or liked siddharth in past and your present is your husband" Didn't I loved siddharth why everyone is questioning that, maya also says like...

"Tell me an honest answer khushi. What do you plan when you agree with this marriage in the first place?"

"I decide to leave him"

"Can't your father will be affected then? You married just for him, if you fail in this marriage can't your father feel bad?"

"Haan.."

"Then what should you have to do?"

"What could I do?" I repeated not understanding where it was leading.

"You have to live happily that's what your family wants"

"How can I live happily?"

"YOU HAVE A LOVING HUSBAND KHUSHI" I jumped hearing her shout.

"What more you want? Think this is your second chance. Live your life khushi. Don't torture yourself and jiju unnecessarily. You're holding onto a decayed stem. Give a chance to bloom yourself"

"But..." She didn't let me finish the sentence.

"Don't make me use bad words. This is the limit... Can't you see everyone was unhappy with your behaviour, You, meera, me and most importantly jiju who married you with a dream of happily ever after"

"How can I kill my heart?" I whispered.

"Then DIE!!! You're of no use to anyone. You're a BURDEN khushi, BURDEN FOR EARTH, BURDEN FOR ARNAV SINGH RAIZADA" She slammed the call.

How dare she? Am I a burden? How can she say that? How can she say I am a burden to arnav? Grunted at her words I stood glaring nothing at particular.

Replaying all her words I can only analyse she wants me to give a second chance to my life.

Mobile ranged again showing maya name on the display.

Swiping I attended the call, maintaining silence I waited for her to speak.

She took a sharp breath before continuing "Khushi, will you divorce jiju? Divorce him and move on from his life. I guess that will be the only solution. At least he will be happy with the one who loves him unlike you" I don't know why her sharp words torn my heart. Involuntarily few tears drop down from my eyes.

"I can't..." I whispered barely.

"Why?" My heart thudded against rib cage hearing her words.

"Don't know..." I replied swallowing the cry.

I heard her sighing heavily "You like him, didn't you?"

"Don't know..." Words come out in dilemma.

"Then find it khushi"

"How?"

"Accept him.." I gasped, she continues "Give him a chance, what if he is far better than siddharth? What if has the power to make your life upside down giving you mountain of happiness"

"He has..." I intruded her.

"What?" This time it's her turn to query.

Closing my eyes I replied what I analysed and what I felt "He has the power to make me forget everything around me"

"Then you like him Khushi...You do have answers but you're not ready to accept, why?" She rasped holding her patience.

"Isn't it a betrayal to siddharth?" I finally asked what was eating me inside from the day he kissed me making me a part of his love web.

"It wasn't. But you're betraying your husband"

I stumbled a bit, "What?? I am betraying arnav?" I gasped. It can't be!! I never betray anyone!

"Marrying to arnav, carrying siddharth in heart, isn't something called BETRAYAL? You're betraying your scared relationship" she stated coolly.

How can she accuse me of such thing?

"Accept it or not. You are a BETRAYER" she yelled from other side.

My hand on cell phone got tighten. Lips quivered, heart galloped in anxiety, brain trying hard to digest such accusation. When it registered I can't help but deny the accusation.

"I AM NOT A BETRAYER, DO YOU HEAR ME, I AM NOT A BETRAYER. I'LL NEVER BETRAY ANYONE" I shouted grasping for breath.

"Then prove it"

"What?"

"Then prove that you're are not a betrayer, throw siddharth away from your heart even if you don't like arnav. Erase all the thoughts of him being a wife of someone else"

"Think khushi...If you do this then I'll accept you're not a betrayer or else..." She trailed down.

Am I a betrayer? If I accept arnav can't it be a betrayal to siddharth?

Then, keeping siddharth in your heart and marrying arnav wasn't it a betrayal to arnav?

Siddharth is dead, Is it? Then who is the one I saw in the party?

If he's siddharth, can I go back to him? NO!!!

Then whats stopping me from accepting arnav? Why he has to suffer without his fault? Either I would accept him or give a chance to him or... divorce him.

Sliding down holding the railing I kept pondering over the three choices I have.

Accept him?

Divorce him?

Give a try?

What do I need?

Comparing all pros and cons I typed opening whatsapp.

"Challenge accepted! I'll never be a BETRAYER"

Pressing send button I leaned on the railing gazing the waves which start from high and end at low.

Life is same as the waves!

_________

I scrawlled whatever came in mind. Hope it was not that bad. Sorry if it was!

Henceforth, arnav pov will be less guys.

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