T: hardware is anything you can smash with a hammer.
S1: so, in theory... [S2] is hardware?

Author's Note: in the end, we decided that Student 2 is an AI from an alien civilization. Student 2 had no say in this conversation because he was not in the room at the time.

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S: so I got this challenge to torture Elmo without being sad, and I was BRUTAL, I shot him like eighty times

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S: I THREW A BABY AT [VICE PRINCIPAL] AND IT HIT HIM ON THE HEAD

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T: processors now are a lot smaller. Moths can't get into them.
S: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

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S1: do we ever sing in English?!
S2: No.
S3: we sing in British

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S: YEET, I AM COMING FOR YOUR SOUL

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S: Let's be noobs together

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S1: Are all the answers A?
S2: Are you high?

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T: What does our Senate do?
S: Squabble

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S: He's a power-hungry murderderder

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S1: I want to give everyone guns that shoot super fine, bright pink glitter that never goes away
S2: You would be my villain origin story

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S1: *takes off hat*
S2: HE LOOKS LIKE A CAVEMAN

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S: You should be president
T: If I were president I'd end up hitting everyone with a yard stick

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S: Nooooo let me caress you with my spatula

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T: At least write your name
S: I forgot my last name

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S1: You're a dingus
S2: Oh, I'm a dingus? How am I a dingus?
S1: Because I said you're a dingus

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S1: I'm gonna marry her
S2: You said that about the last one too

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T: What were some reasons of the fall of the Roman Empire?
Class: Too big
T: Alright, everyone's saying "too big," What other answers do you have?
S: Too LARGE.

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T: If my best friend stabbed me, I don't think I'd want to be friends anymore.

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T1: HAVE A WONDERFUL FRIDAY!
T2: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!

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S1: are you excited that it's friday?
S2: It's friday?!

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T: What comes to mind when you think of the Middle Ages?
S: Burger King

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S: Is [T1] okay? I can hear him yelling.
T2: He is okay... physically. What's he yelling about?
S: Something about breathing and how no one cares.

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T: Did you not enjoy watching a girl get stabbed?

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T: We're gonna do a crossword! If you don't like crosswords you can get over it

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T: So... when a mommy and daddy love each other very much...
S1: But how do they do that on the ceiling?
S2: Red Bull gives you wings

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T: He's dead now
S: What happened?
T: He died

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S: You're not my teacher, you're just my dad's husband

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S: I'm not a furry, it technically wasn't me who married the squirrel

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T: [S] is not a furry. He's just the human embodiment of Sonic the Hedgehog.

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S: CRY ME A BRIDGE AND BUILD A RIVER

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S: the internet is great because you can learn things that you don't learn at school
T: yeah like how to make dr- you heard nothing

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S: from my knowledge, Kim Jong Un does not practice dark magic

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T: Ovaries taste delicious

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T: I prefer to sustain a Nazi-free environment

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T: guinea pig tacos, you put a whole guinea pig into a taco
S1: what do you do with the bones?
T: spit them out
S2: the bones are dessert

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S1: Lesbians make me cringe
S2: Lesbians make you queasy?
T: WHAT makes you queasy?!

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S: ITS NOT GAY IF ITS WITH YOURSELF! LIFE LESSONS WITH [S]!!!

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S: *pulls a chicken drumstick out of the trash can* TREASURE!

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S: oh, he's doing the gay version

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S1: isn't it always guys who say men don't start drama?
S2: yeah...
S1: WHAT WERE THE FIRST TWO WORLD WARS, THEN?

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S: HE'S A BOOK CHICKEN!

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S1: it's not a cult, it's a club.
S2: ITS A CULT

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S: NO! THEYRE NOT STRIPPERS!

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S: they're supposed to fall down the hill and break their head open. It's NOT WORKING.

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S: of course the wasp is gay.

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T: I like manual labor

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T: climb a tree. Fall out of a tree. Break your bones. Do fun stuff!

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T: yes, you can bring french toast swords.

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T: JACK BLACK NEVER DIES!

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S: I don't care if you have some moral trauma about killing people! GET OVER IT!

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S: she won't let me cut her sketchbook!
T: people yes, paper no.

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S: ITS A GayTM!

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S: every problem can be solved with either violence or chocolate. LIFE LESSONS WITH [S]!