Sorry it's been so long, I had a bad day one Friday and didn't want to write it all down and then the next week I was busy and then the next I forgot but I'm here now

Student: I BELIEVE
Teacher: You believe what?
Student: I BELIEVE THE EARTH IS ROUND

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T: this is gonna be a two-day project
S: but what if tomorrow never comes?

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S: CAN I JUMP INTO LAVA
T: NO! Have you ever played Minecraft? You'll DIE!

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S: *balances a Mountain Dew can on its corner*
T: wow
S: I need to show everyone else! *Runs for the door*
T: NO, SIT DOWN
S: Can I show [another teacher]?
T: no
S: can I go to the bathroom?
T: no
S: *balances the can again* but I'm a magic boy

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S: because I'm not taking Child Development I will drop kick every child in a ten mile radius

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Rock List:
Shrock
Rocktopus
Rockstet
Brock
Rocket Launcher
Rock

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S1: *leaves*
S2: okay who wants to be the new [S1]?
S3: me!
T: no-

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Intercom: please excuse the wrestling team.
S: I'm on the wrestling team! *Leaves*
T: is he really?
S: *returns* I'm the water boy!
T: no you're not, sit down.
S: but they're gonna be in a drought without their water boy!

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S1: has anyone seen the new Puss In Boots?
S2: I pirated that movie!

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S1: if you fail the test it doesn't mean you don't listen it just means you're stupid
T: so if you fail the test I can call you stupid?
S: yeah
S2: we don't need him to fail the test he's stupid either way

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S: WHY DID YOU SAY THAT SINFUL WORD
T: what word? Moist?
S: AAAA YOU NEED TO REPENT

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S: THE DOOR IS OPENING
T: yeah I know it's haunted

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T: if I can hold it you can hold it and I have a baby who is currently kicking my bladder

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S: who wrote "VECTOR" on my desk

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S: you sound like a serial killer
T: *sounding like a serial killer* I am... not.

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S1: what if you bump your belly on a corner and the baby stubs its toe?

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S: sorry I'm explaining pregnancy

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T: composite volcanoes are like cake... and cinder cone volcanoes are like vomit

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S: is a hot spot at least related to a hot pocket?

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S: banging people is not a very effective method of warfare

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S: why don't we just drop a nuke on where they store the nukes

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T: yeah that was the Cold War-
S: why didn't they wear jacket

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S1: what if we drop a nuke on other nukes and make a SUPER NUKE
S2: ...I hope you never become president

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T: has anyone ever been to Craters of the Moon?
S: I have never been on the moon

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S1: YOU PUNCHED A PREGNANT LADY?
S2: It's a hobby of mine

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T: it's a Shrek volcano! Except now Shrek is dead!

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S: miss teacher can you give a baby steroids