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Ethan

"Ethan!" A familiar voice thundered. I knew it was loud but it sounded so distant. I didn't want anything to cut off the string that attached me to my sleep, seeing as right now, I felt at utter peace with myself. And I really didn't want to wake up, only to die again within a short moment. I didn't even think my body would be able to take that anymore.

"Ethan! Wake the hell up!"

I could already feel anger rising within me. As my whole body started waking up unwillingly. This process was the actual worse. It felt like there were machines being turned on at each level of my system, and they worked slowly to boot up properly.

"Ethan!"

The voice was familiar, but not the one that kept taunting and killing me over and over.

"Ethan, can you hear me!"

It was Malcolms'... Wait-

Malcolm?

My eyes began to pull open slowly, my mind still a fog of itself as I looked around, trying to figure out my surroundings.

My room? I was in my room?

Thinking came with a thunderous headache that seemed to send shivers all through my body- body. 

It didn't take long for me to realize that I was completely naked, the covers sheilding me from the waist downwards.

What the fuck?

I tried to sit up, groaning when the headache attacked this time, making me feel so sick.

My eyes caught Malcolm's worried expression.

"What are you doing here Malcolm? Wh-what happened?"

A look of disbelief captured his whole face. "Are you seriously asking me that? Do you know how worried we all were? I even had to call Glory! What the fuck did she do to you?"

My brain tried to piece everything together, I could only remember pieces of yesterday, it all came back slowly to me, increasing the headache I had.

Silas had taken me. I was at the facility where he killed me, over and over again-- and then, Glory-- yes, she came... She was there... She told me things-- things that broke me, ruined me over again. She explained why she'd always called me her son, she'd even showed me the adoption papers, how she got my parents to sign me over to them when I turned ten-- the fire-- the hospital-- her secret project-- And then she- she completely destroyed me, she took- she took it away- my chip.

"It's of no use to you, honey. Just trust me when I say, you're better off without it." She had said, her fingers stroking my hair as I tried to get free from the bed I was strapped on.

I could still remember the heaviness in my heart. The weight the chip had once carried from me, dropped back down on me when it was removed.

It became so clear, like a video that wouldn't stop replaying in my head. The night of the fire years ago. How distraught I'd been, how terrified I was. I could feel all the emotions surging through me. Almost like the chip had been a force shield, stopping the rush of the agony that came with the night of the fire.

The fire- what the fuck am I saying? Not just the fire. Every single thing I'd caused to the people around me.

I relieved the pain. So confused and shattered. It was unbearable.

I remember myself stopping by at Renegades, I couldn't take it anymore, and I just needed to stop thinking for a moment. I lost count of how many bottles I had taken, how many drinks that had been mixed with different substances created to make anyone as high as a fucking kite.

I didn't care, I just wanted to forget- and forget I did, cause right now, I couldn't even remember anything from that point at Renegades.

Malcolm sighed. "She told me to come see how you were doing, seeing as you drank your senses out of your head last night... Is it true? Did she really--"

"Yes she did. I'm human now, and I have a fucking headache that's about to kill me, and trust me, the last thing I want to do right now, is die."

Malcolm looked confused. "But I don't understand... Why would she take your chip? Did she give you a reason?"

"No." I strained out, getting out of bed and slipping my boxers back on, my brain unable to phantom why I'd taken off all my clothes last night, it wasn't in my habit to sleep naked... I guess alcohol really does change a person.

"Why wouldn't she give you a reason, knowing how dangerous it is- I- you weren't even prepared. Are you okay?" He asked.

"What do you think?" I couldn't help but snap at him as I sled my pants back on, feeling on edge and off... Really off.

But then again... Its been years since I was last fully human.

Malcolm sighed. "I'm sorry this happened Ethan, you can come back to the RTR with me, we can run some tests and I'll see if there's anything to ease-"

"No. I've had enough of needles poking into my skin to last me for a life time. I think I'm good." I groaned, my head pounding. "I might need some normal pills for these unbearable headaches though." I said, unable to fully open my eyes due to the pain.

With a sigh, Malcolm asked. "Where's your girlfriend?"

I furrowed my brows. "Ivy? Probably at school... Fuck, I should call her, she'd been trying to reach me all through yesterday, and that bastard--"

"She's supposed to be here." Malcolm said, cutting me off.

I paused, fighting my vision to stay focused. "What do you mean?"

"Edith told me she'd ran into Ivy on her way back last night. Ivy told her she was going to stay back until you arrived."

I paused, the gears turning in my head.

I could already feel the growing pace of my heart beat. "W-what?"

"We were all worried, Ethan... You should have..." He continued talking, but his voice became echoes away, as my mind unlocked a memory I was yet to remember.

I had stumbled home last night-- I saw her car, but I didn't really think much about it-- she was here- in my bathroom she-- we-- I--

My heart dropped.

No... No no no.

"Ethan? What happened?" Malcolm asked.

"No no no... What the hell did I do?" I mused to myself, unable to count the amount of times my heart had skipped a beat, squeezing in pain as a result of my suddenly uneven breathing.

"Ethan, talk to me!" Malcolm shook me like he was trying to bring me back to reality.

My eyes raised to his, my vision becoming totally blurry. Never in my life, have I felt this sudden rush of hatred... Not for anyone, but myself.

"Malcolm."

"Yes, what happened?" The concern in his eyes was something I didn't deserve at this moment.

"I think- I think I did something- something really terrible."

* * *

Ivy

"I wouldn't call it terrible." I bit my nails, pacing back and forth at a private space in Renegades, as Fiona and Caramel watched me, with their eyes wide and their mouths hanging open. I stopped, staring at them. "Come on guys, I'm having a panic attack right now cause I feel so freaking guilty!"

They blinked, almost like they just got back from wherever their imaginations took them.

"Damn, I'm just sitting here wondering why you never jumped him. How could you resist that walking sex god for months? Months! Are you crazy?" Caramel asked, her eyes wide.

Fiona's elbow connected with her ribs, before she pinned me with her gaze. "First off, what the fuck were you thinking?"

I broke, my shoulders slumping down.

"He was drunk, Ivy? Which means he wasn't in his right senses. Which actually is weird cause it's pretty uncommon for Insiders to get drunk, but with Ethan, his issues have always been a bit complicated right from the start, so you can't know what to expect from him."

"But he-- he seemed like he wanted it... I mean, he didn't even slur in his words, he didn't seem that drunk-- but I did know something was off but--"

"You couldn't resist him," Caramel continued for me. "I know I wouldn't be able to." She smirked.

I rolled my eyes, my teeth coming to chew down on my lips. "It felt like if I had said no to him in that moment, I- I would have really hurt him or given him the impression that I didn't want him."

"But you know, the sensible Ethan would have wanted you to say no, right?" Fiona asked.

I thought about it for a second. "Well yeah... I mean, yeah of course. He'd always wanted to take things slow-"

"Slow is so fucking boring." Caramel said with a bored look on her face.

"Do you regret it?" Fiona asked.

I slipped back into the booth across them. "Well... No... From his side I- I regret taking advantage of his state, but- I don't regret that it happened. He looked so broken, I didn't know what would have happened if I had pushed him away."

Fiona face palmed. "Ivy, Ethan, as strong as his whole fucking facade is, is one sensitive guy, okay? You should have said no, or maybe knock him out or something."

I bit my nails, an unsettling feeling gripping me.

"You know he's gonna hate this right?" Fiona said. "He's gonna really hate it because there might have been a valid reason why he wanted you both to wait... Maybe he had something special planned. It could be anything. But what happened last night, shouldn't have."

"But it meant so much to me-"

"It might have, but what about him?"

I sighed. "Damn it, you're right."

"Fuck this," Caramel said. "It happened okay? You can't change it. I didn't skip school to see you all sad and regretful; so tell me, how was it like? I can't even remember how my first time was like? It was quick and fucking lame."

It was anything but that. Though it did hurt, like a bitch but-- I didn't hate it. He didn't hurt me. It was perfect at the end and I had spent the whole night in his arms knowing I had taken advantage of his state, but still... It didn't feel like that.

"It was great, better than I expected it to be, since he was drunk-"

"So the rumors are true. I still wonder how you both stayed away from each other... What were you guys doing together all those time alone?"

I ignored her question.

"Caramel, this is a serious issue." Fiona said.

"How is it? Ivy doesn't regret it, the girl wanted it, cut her some slack."

"Ivy is sitting right here, dying of immense guilt." I said, covering my face with my palms.

I had literally ran out of his house this morning, not wanting to face him and answer questions or even explain, seeing as I was confused myself and guilt was literally killing me.

I should have said no, and asked what really happened to him, instead, I let that side of him have its way, I helped him in a way I knew he'd clearly hate.

What was I thinking?

"Hey, Ivy. I'm sure it'll be fine... Ethan's going to understand, I mean as long as he didn't hurt you right?" Fiona asked.

"No he didn't... But I hurt him. I just wanted to help, he looked really hurt and dejected, rejecting him would have hurt him, It felt so right."

"Then you don't have much to worry about. You just have to go back, and be there when he wakes up, cause if he wakes up and doesn't see you, I know that boy, he'll-"

"Assume the worst." Caramel completed for her.

"Oh my God, that's right! I have to go back." I said, shooting up from my booth at Renegades. "I'll see you guys later." I said, as I rushed out, quickly heading towards my car at a far corner.

What was I thinking leaving like that? Ethan might just as well assume the worst.

My phone vibrated in my pocket.

I quickly fished for it, seeing Ethan's name on the screen, as I opened my car door.

Christ!

I was about to pick up when I felt a looming presence behind me.

I turned, my eyes going wide as they caught sight of Michelle, smirking at me, a gun on her grip.

"Michelle?"

"Chubby cheeks. Missed me?" Her smirk turned very deadly, and before I could comprehend what happened next, the butt of her gun came connecting with my head, my phone slipped out of my palm, connecting with ground which swayed briefly beneath my feet, until I lost all sense of consciousness.

___

Vote and Comment:-)

I bet you missed Michelle... Wrong timing, do you agree?

Also, Ethan's now human? Why do you think Glory removed his chip?

The Lithians could have just waited until Ivan sorted out this new mess Ivy caused, right?

What do you think they're going to do to her?

And Ethan, how do you think he's going to handle all this being thrown at him all at once?

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See you guys in the next chapter! Hopefully tomorrow, if I get inspired by your comments! See ya!