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Fiona

Sad didn't come close to what I was feeling. I could hear their voices mixed with that of the chatters that made the whole atmosphere scream school. Even from the noisy cafeteria, I could still filter out his voice, sounding happier than I've ever heard him. I guess he really did like Lulu.

Boys are demons!

Jus a few days ago, he literally tried to get with me, and now he's playing around with Lulu, ignoring me like I don't even exist.

Yes, I might have maybe lied to Roman about my feelings, but I did really care about him, I like him a lot, and that's exactly what scares me.

I'd only ever liked one person in my life, and that was Ethan, a very very long time ago. It was a stupid crush that grew really serious.

It lasted for about a year and a half before I began to realize we couldn't be anything more than best friends. Besides, he was too good for me. I was and still I'm not in his league.

When I first saw Roman, the day I used LT wipe on him, I thought he was really handsome, his whole appearance hit me in a different way. The second time I did see him, I realized it wasn't just a spur-of-the-moment thing, it was more, different from the feelings I had developed for Ethan years ago.

And it scared me. It scared me to the bone.

The day he came to me with that question, I just wasn't ready, he caught me off guard and I just said the first thing that came to mind. I was confused, I'd never been in a situation like that, and I freaked out.

I thought he was smart enough to see that I panicked... I never thought he was going to flat out ignore me like I didn't exist.

It hurt, a lot.

I've tried to talk to him, but he just responds with one word answers and doesn't really look interested.

I've never felt this hurt... I thought hurt was listening to Ethan talk about all his hook ups while I died in silence.

This is was way worse. It's almost like he gave up, and just doesn't want to have anything to do with me.

It's not like I said anything too bad or too harsh, I scrambled out the words, and made sure not to hurt him. But maybe I did. Maybe that's why he doesn't want to have anything to do with me.

I messed up, I screwed everything up cause I'm so inexperienced when it came to the matters of the heart. Sometimes I wish I could be as bold as Ivy, face the situation head on, and battle the fear... But I couldn't, not with situations like this, not with fragile situations that had to do with taking care of your heart and that of the person you love and care about.

I sighed, trying to block out the sound of their voices and slow footsteps.

It didn't work, a part of me wanted to hear everything he was telling her, and a part of me just wanted to block them out and go sulk in a corner.

I needed a distraction, and I needed one fast.

Just on cue, I spotted Ivy walking into the cafeteria, a huge sweater covering her body, stopping just mid thigh, the dark net pocket sock she wore, told me there was a good reason why she was wearing the oversized sweater.

Her shoulder was slumped down, her face free of any makeup, but flushed. The way her eyes looked red and dull, told me that she had been crying for a long time.

I noticed people steal glances at her as she made her way to the table I was seated.

"Hey." Her voiced sounded strained, on edge, and cracked, almost as if she was at the verge of tears, and with just a little push, she'd resume crying.

She took her seat opposite me, shrinking into it, almost like she was expecting it to shield her from the whispers and stares.

I was about to ask her what happened when Korah walked up to our table immediately, a sly smile on her face. "Lookie here, it's Ivy the stripper. Was wondering when you were gonna show up, you seem to love crying and hiding in bathrooms, is that some kind of fetish you have? Or it's just what you humans do?"

Ivy didn't look up at her, I noticed her shrinking back into her seat, regret, making a home on her face.

What happened?

"Cat got your tongue?" Korah chuckled, bringing more attention to our table. "Where's the smart Ivy now? The Rebel-lions queen? The strong human who's gonna set us all free?" Korah mocked. "Why are you so silent? What? Ethan didn't like your little costume? Tell me, did he finally break up with you? Was that the reason why you spent so much time crying in the bathroom? Aw, are you sad?"

A couple of chuckles resounded all around us.

"Well, I guess now you've learnt your place. And you can stop walking in here like you're everyone's fallen angel." Korah spat out angrily. "Have a nice lunch, Fishery." She smiled sweetly, about to walk away when my leg shot out from beneath the table, causing her to lose her balance and falling straight to the ground, her nose connecting forcefully to it. The crack I heard could not be disguised as anything else.

Basically everyone was doubling over with laughter.

Ivy gasped, her eyes widening in shock.

Korah groaned, throwing me a glare as she held her bloody nose, while I returned it with one of the sweetest smiles I could muster. "Aw, are you hurt? Even the ground where you belong doesn't want you... So sad." I feigned pity.

"You bitch!" She seethed out, getting to her feet.

"Call me a bitch again and I'll be dragging you out of inc high with a bloody nose." I said, a hard glare bringing my brows down with a frown.

Fear crossed her eyes as she stomped her foot, matching away angrily.

I turned back to Ivy, who had her eyes on me. "Why the hell did you do that?"

"I didn't do anything, she just didn't watch where she was going... People really need to stop having their heads in the clouds, you just don't know what's lurking below to bring you down." I said.

Ivy sighed. "You didn't have to, she was just being mean, that's how she knows how to deal, there's no point retaliating."

"Not everyone can be as good as you, Ivy." I let out, concern bringing down my brows again. "What happened?"

She let a sad frown take over her face. "I ruined my life, that's what." She said, her shoulders going even further down. "I just wanted Michelle's voice out of my head, and I hurt Ethan in the process... More like-- maybe, broke up with him in the process, I don't know." She sighed. "I'm just so stupid, and I act without thinking."

Whoa, what?

"Ivy, I thought I told you it was normal... It would have worn off on its own, you didn't have to do anything... My God. Did you tell Ethan it was Michelle? I'm sure he's gonna understand, we've all been victims of her mind games."

She shook her head. "I left before I even realized what I did... I don't even know how I'm going to face him now, after everything I said and did? It was awful Fiona, really awful." She said, her eyes building up tears. "I always do this, hurt him every time... He probably thinks I've playing with his feelings, but I'm not, I swear I would never do that... It's just-- I'm just so stupid, he deserves so much better than me."

I took her shaky hand from across the table. "Hey, don't say that. You're not stupid, it was Michelle... I'm positive if you tell Ethan that it was her, he'd most definitely understand."

"You think so? Because I'm scared, I'm scared if I see him again, he'd not want anything to do with me." She said, sounding really scared indeed.

"Don't worry about it, I promise things will be alright." I gave her a reassuring smile, squeezing her hand before letting go. "You look like hell."

"You don't have to tell me, I already feel like hell." She managed a small smile, wiping the small tears that managed to escape.

Roman's voice grew closer in my head, my eyes moving to the entrance of the cafeteria to him walking in with Lulu, her hand attached to his arm like glue.

I want to punch her face in!

"See you later tonight?" She asked him, her smile wide with excitement.

My heart broke when he returned the smile with equal excitement.

"You bet." He grinned.

I tore my eyes from them, my heart beating heavily against my chest.

Sometimes I just hated the way our chip tends to heighten every single emotions stirring inside us, it was agonizing.

I briefly wondered how Ethan was feeling, he must feel like crap, thinking Ivy really meant everything she said... What if she knew he took it more serious than she thought? What if she knew our chips only made the situation feel like hell?

I'd rather keep that to myself, the last thing I wanted was to add to whatever she was feeling at the moment.

"Hey!" Roman said to no one in particular, as he took his seat beside Ivy, not even sparing me a glance. "So there's a picture of you dressed unusually, it's spreading like hells on fire." Roman informed Ivy.

She groaned. "Why is it that people don't mind their business around here? It's worse than ICHS." Ivy spoke up, earning a cute chuckle from Roman.

His curly hair fell cutely around his face, his beautiful blue eyes covered underneath his glasses was all I needed to think about before I started my day. His voice, deep, yet so calm, sent my heart into overdrive, his smile sent me right into a new but beautiful dimension.

I groaned inwardly.

Why do I have to like him this much?
__

Roman

I was well aware of her eyes on me, but I didn't give in to the urge to look her way, no. I've tried, the pass few weeks, I've tried my best to ignore her, since apparently, that was what she wanted. I wasn't her class anyway, so why bother trying to be close to someone who only saw you as a friend of one of her friends.

Thinking of those words just had me reliving how hurt I felt after she said that to me.

When I told Lulu about her, she'd told me Fiona never dated, and that even if she did want to ever date someone, it wouldn't be me.

I wasn't offended though, she was right. Fiona was pretty, she'd most likely date one of the popular guys, not some geek who now found solace in downing his system with Lit.

It was exactly as Lulu described it. Heavenly... I forget certain things after taking it. Basically all my problems just wash away, and all that's left is this rush of happiness. One I've never felt before.

I forget about Fiona, about the outside, about how my Mom would probably be going crazy trying to find me, how my dad would eventually leave for months to deal with his problems, and how Kyle would feel pretty much like crap for never paying any attention to me.

I forget about how bad I miss my family, miss watching Blind spot and trying to solve the clues along with the characters... Basically how much I missed my old life.

"Look who the world dragged in!" Ralph's voice broke me out of my thoughts, as I looked up, seeing a guy by his side.

I'd never seen him before, but from what I could tell, he was friends with Ralph.

And the rate at which Fiona jumped from her seat to tackle him in a hug, told me he was a part of their circle.

"Oh my God, Jay! When did you get back?!" She asked with delight, pulling away to grin widely at him.

She was literally all over him.

He gave her a friendly grin, his eyes sparkling with adoration for her.

Did they use to be a thing?

Fiona never dated, so, that can't be it.

"Don't look too happy." He chuckled as they all took their seat back at the table, Ralph bumping his shoulder with Ivy, as if to ask her what was wrong, in which she just shook her head, her focus on the Jay guy.

"What do you mean?" Fiona asked, a frown pulling down her beautiful brows.

Stop.

He wanted to respond, but stopped after noticing me and Ivy. "Hey, you both are the ones from the outside right?" He asked, curiosity lacing his brows.

"Yeah, I'm Ivy." Ivy introduced herself, managing a half smile.

"Nice to meet you, Ivy." He returned the smile politely.

"I'm Roman, and you are?" I heard myself asking.

"He's Jay, we all basically grew up together." Ralph answered with a grin.

Jay smiled. "Yeah... My Dad's a faculty official, so we move around a lot, and I take classes from home. I actually came to get my stuff before Ralph kidnapped me." He chuckled.

"Get your stuff?" My eyes fell back on Fiona as she spoke, the concern in her eyes sending me on a mile to jealousy ville.

"Yeah." He gave a sad smile. "He's finally transfered to the faculty office at the Purest sector, that's a long way from school, and you know how my Mom is. I told Ethan, I thought he'd have passed it across."

"He didn't." Ralph responded. "Where's Ethan by the way?" He asked, directing the question to Ivy.

"I don't- I don't know." She stuttered, her voice quiet.

Did something happen between them? She always knew where he was.

The look in her eyes told me she was in no mood to talk about Ethan.

Fiona cleared her throat. "Why Purest though? There's enough space at the faculty over at the Willing."

Jay chuckled. "We'll still see each other, bean." He said, pinching her cheek. "I'll arrange it."

"Caramel's gonna kill you if she finds out you're moving again." Ralph cut in.

"I'll talk to Caramel. Besides, it's not as if I'm moving far away, I'm within reach, just not in bases. It'd be difficult for me to get out, but Ethan's taught me a thing or two about escaping those kind of buildings."

Fiona and Ralph laughed at this, almost like there was a little secret they all had unshared.

Fiona's attention had completely left me. I guess Jay was more of the kind of guy she went out with. Fit, charming, no geeky vibes, just a laid back guy who didn't have to do anything to look cool.

The Lit wasn't doing it's work, here I am, my eyes on Fiona, trying go figure out why I liked her, why out of everyone, her. Why did I have to like someone who would never return my feelings, someone who was purposely showing me that Jay was more of her type, and I'd never stand a chance.

I refrained the urge to scoff out loud, whipping out my phone from my pocket, and shooting a quick text to Lulu.

Maybe the dosage I was taking wasn't enough... Maybe I needed more.

Me:
What do you say we skip all of this and start tonight early... There are somethings I'd love to forget rn.

I sent it, my eyes going over to her table to see her reading the text, a slow smirk appearing on her lips as her eyes found mine with a knowing smile, before making a move to text me back.

The vibration didn't take too long to shake off the conversation flowing on my table.

Lulu:
Sure, I'm kinda bored anyways. ;-)

I always had a positive feeling about taking that pill, cause I knew it would help, but something about this one told me it wouldn't end well as usual, seeing as at this point, I'd willingly overdose to get Fiona out of my head.

___

Vote and Comment:-)

We took a small break from Ethan and Ivy on this chapter, but there's still a question about them!

If Ivy apologizes and explains to Ethan, do you think he'd understand? Or do you think he'd just keep his distance?

What's your thought on the Riona drama?

I'm kinda missing some characters from the first chapters! Who's ready for some adventure back to the outside?

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Catch you guys later!