"Hating never harms the one you hate. Nor does forgiving benefits the one to be forgiven.
Your emotions shall harm or benefit no one, but thyself."

Ha Neul, after another failed attempt to meet her dad, returned home tired. Eyes looked sleep deprived and swollen from tears and grief. Kim Seong had special requests to never allow her of any meets.

Getting off from the car parked right in front of her big house as she approached the gate, a middle aged lady voice distracted her to the source on her right.

??? : Ha Neul-ah.

She pratically freezed the moment, she was cued to the familiarity of the face, as the lady advanced towards her.

HA NEUL : (-eyes wide-) Mom-.. Ah, Sorry, Mrs. Park, is it now?

With a wistful smile, her mother kept staring at her for a moment. It had been eighteen years that she was seeing her daughter again, before her eyes. She was completely ecstatic.

However, all Ha Neul could feel was anger and never forgiven resent for her mother. Hence, she stood with grudge and a bitter expression.

HA NEUL : (-rudely-) What brings you here? Isn't this a place you abandoned to never return?

Mrs. PARK : (-not minding her words-) Ha Neul-ah, you have grown up so pretty. (-smiles-)

HA NEUL : I take up my dad. Of course, I have pretty features.

Mrs. PARK : (-light chuckles-) Right. You do. So beautiful!

HA NEUL : (-coldly-) Why are you here?

Mrs. PARK : I watched the news about your Dad. So, I came to see if you are alright.

HA NEUL : Alright? (-dry chuckle-) All these years, you haven't once called to ask if I was doing well. Now, you expect me to believe that?

Mrs. PARK : Ha Neul-ah! Mom is sorry to you. To your Dad. Will always be. But, she never stopped caring for you.

Ha Neul gulped down a tear, looking elsewhere.

HA NEUL : (-cracking voice-) Did you even love me?

Mrs. PARK : Of course, I did. I still do, so much, baby.

Mrs. Park advanced a step towards her as she ended her remark. But, Ha Neul held tight on her resent and took a step back.

HA NEUL : (-fighting her tears-) Then, why did you leave me? Why did you leave Dad? He loved you so much.

Mrs.Park stared into her daughter's tears filled gaze at her. There was hate, there was fury but there was also longing, a longing for her mother.

Mrs. PARK : (-heavy heart-) I couldn't love him. I was not happy in our marriage. And when I had you, I was happy as a mother to have an angel like daughter. But, I was still unhappy as a wife.

HA NEUL : (-sniffs-) So, Mr.Park gave you that happiness?

Mrs. PARK : Maybe. But, that's not where it started. I shouldn't have agreed to marry your dad just on the fact that he loved me. I thought, I would eventually fall for him. But, it never happened. Infact, I got into self guilt. I was receiving so much from him, but could return nothing.

They were words Ha Neul received as a daughter. As if a counseling to get over her crush on Namjoon, she obediently indulged into listening to the mother she never had.

Mrs. PARK : Never get into the one sided things. Love is pain, honey. You give a little, you get a little. It has to be mutual so both can share it, say it love or pain. But, in the former case, since one gives it all, they get it all too.

Ha Neul had been craving for the warmth in her words, in her embrace so much, that now she had stoned herself to overcome it. The sound of her mother's voice was not less than a torment. Her stoned self was highly resilient to show any cooperation towards her any further.

HA NEUL : I don't want to see you anymore. Just leave like you did years ago. (-rushes to the gate-)

Mrs. PARK : (-not stopping her-) I am so sorry, Ha Neul-ah. I am sorry for disappointing you, for everything I couldn't give you.

Ha Neul quietly waited for the maids inside the house to unlock the gate for her. She didn't respond to her mother's last words and blatantly stormed inside, tears spilling out of her eyes.

.

.

.

Wistful gazes were shared by the couple partitioned by the thick wall, half of which was glass with a few holes for making communication easy and feasible.

SK : (-resentful-) How do you always visit me when I am at my worst?

On the other side, Mrs. Park seated calmly, didn't respond to his words.

Mrs. PARK : I met Ha Neul.

SK : You went home?

Mrs. PARK : Just briefly met her outside.

SK : Now, how come you show up after such a long time? Does it give you pleasure seeing me, shattered?

Mrs. PARK : Why are you seeing it this way? You know, it's not like that.

SK : You know what? I don't know. I really don't. I never understood you. That's what you said. Remember?

Both fought back tears and remained silent for a moment before Mrs. Park tried to change the topic.

Mrs. PARK : Why did you steep in that well? Everything was good and nice. You could have married again.

SK : (-laughs-) Marry? Easy for you to say. I have married only once, that was Ha Neul's mom.

Mrs. PARK : Right. For Ha Neul's sake, atleast. Shouldn't you have thought for a second before doing something like this? Do you know how hard it is for that little girl to live with this truth? Her eyes were all red and swollen.

SK : Ha Neul's... (-dry chuckle-) Says who just left her when she needed her mom, the most. The screams for her mother's embrace, still resonates in these ears. Talk about her sake.

Mrs. PARK : (-tears forming-) That's my point. You were always the one to love and care for her most.

SK : So, it's justified for you, but not me? It's okay if it's you, but an offence for me?

Mrs. Park was all in all, speechless. She found hard to comprehend the change, her one move, had brought in him.

It was indeed Kim Seong sitting across the wall, the man she left with a divorce paper. But, something, the mood he was creating felt scarily different now.

Mrs. PARK : I cleared it all to you while leaving too. Why aren't you over it?

SK : "Happiness", was it? (-scoffs-) Right, how do you like it? Are you happy now? With th-.. with that person?

Mrs. PARK : (-with a straight face-) He passed away.

There was a clear drop in Kim Seong's expressions. All these years, already having a lot in hand, he never really kept any tabs on her. He was never interested to find out. If only, he actually tried even just once.

SK : When did it..?

Mrs. PARK : 17 years ago.

SK : (-softly-) Then, have you been living by yourself all these years?

Mrs. PARK : (-looks down in tears-) It has been hard, really hard. (-sniffs-) But, I had accepted it as a punishment for leaving you both.

Kim Seong's hands twitched towards her, still wanting to comfort her tears.

SK : (-holds back tears-) You could have come back. Even with Ha Neul's excuse, I would've accepted you.

Mrs. PARK : (-looks up at him-) How can I do that now? Where do I come back? You have destroyed everything, Seong-ssi.

SK : No, I will make things alrig-. . .

His mouth denied to deliver the words anymore, temple crease clearing in a second. It was that instant, the seized epiphany waved through his veins. 

SK : I am doomed, aren't I?

He lost his conscious to the regrets and remorse, he haven't been feeling all these time. If only he could turn back time. If only he could save himself from surrendering to the monster inside him.

Kim Seong, standing up from the seat, voluntarily marched back to his cell like a soulless mobile body. He was deafened to Mrs. Park's calls or her cries, as he left the meeting room.

The sleepless nights were about to turn to lifeless days. If anything he had learnt, it was that, the words as simple as penitence can make a human's mind so complicated and tough, that breathing the air felt like a burden he was putting to the nature.

It felt something like wanting to die, yet he couldn't because the humongous monster, he has embraced in him, needs to feed on something. Earlier it was his greed and evil thoughts, now it is the remnants of his confidence, self esteem. And slowly everything that made him, Kim Seong‐ the successful CEO of once one of the top agencies in Korea. Without him, it awaited a great loss.

Now, he must wait until the monster fed on him whole, to die. It wouldn't let him take his life prior that, neither would his remorse let him live the present.

He was not his anymore.

Scared.

Frightened.

Horrified.

All different words meaning the same, yet it nowhere paralleled the extent of terror he was in.

At times, he would feel a dread equal to a multiple of all the fear those girls experienced under him. Other times, he would find no correspondence to epitome it. Anycase, it never leveled down. Neither would it end until the moment he departs from this realm, nor was it any soon.

Initial days spent in mostly screams and cries, beating the walls, injuring himself. Flourishing a disgust on himself, he would land crazy slaps even on the water that reflected his face on it.

Gradually, it went down to blank and weak stares at the ventilation of his murky cell room.

Soon his bodily movements dropped to being glued in the same position for days and weeks.

The only motion his body showed were quietly whirring a question, apart from eye blinks and breathing. Officers would hear his pityful self asking that one question, everyday.

"Why did I do that?"

"Why did I do that?"

"Why did I do that?"

.

.

.

"Why?"

______○______

Well, I felt the need to give a conclusion to this family, maybe not as a chapter though.

I hope you all have read it regardless.

And remember, Hate is not the way, say it for yourself or anyone concerned.

.

Love Yourself and everyone around.
♡ Peace♡

Meet you on Wednesday!

~MJ's out!