NJ : Stop!

Seol Ah instantly turned around to find him, standing right next to his studio. Hands in pockets, he was looking straight in her direction.

NJ : Never. Never touch that.

The gravity in his words weighed down her curiosity just about right. But, she hated the tempt for forbidden, that was sent an invitation by the very restriction.

Fighting back her thoughts, she brought her attention to Namjoon who had already disappeared. Again.
For a moment, it felt like his image was her mere illusion, that appears right when she is about to do something which—according to him—she shouldn't.

Seol Ah sighed looking into the space, not caring even if it was a mind play. She was too dispirited to feed her faint curiosity, that flickered a little. Until, that too was graved down by her prompt of prohibitions in the house.

Upon a sudden anamnesis of his schedule, she immediately occupied herself to cancel the meetings and reservations made for today.

Past one hour, she was again seen playing with water droplets, poured out on the dining table. Leisurely resting her head flat on her left profile, the female in the house became an explicit victim of boredom.

The extent of it was starting to strangely intoxicate her. She lifted her head back up, blinking weirdly to align her eyeballs straight.

The workless manager looked around, breathing out a few sighs, before a potential means to kill time popped up.

Making her way to the storeroom, she fetched all the necessities, tied her hair into a high pony—ready to clean the house. Usually, Namjoon did the cleaning every morning before Seol Ah wakes up. And she tidies her room later, in the evenings.

Although not a freaky much, he liked things clean, always and without any exceptions or leaving a single off day to that. Having stated this, a bad mood was never an excuse to him; the entire apartment was squeaky clean.

SEOL AH : (-stays motivated-) So what? I will vacuum clean it. Even the fine dust, just everything. (-smiles determined-)

She set off from the kitchen. Starting with the dishes used for breakfast, that were left for a later wash.

Humming one of his song's unconsciously, would make her wonder sometimes, if she has heard it anywhere before.

SEOL AH : (-almost drop her cup-) Holy-!

She professionally managed to save the cup and stretched her arm to keep it in the cabinet above. Meant to happen, with the miscalculations of the height, she bumped her cup in two pieces.

SEOL AH : (-gasps-) I doubt he won't make me pay for this.

Careful enough she dumped the broken cup into the trash, coming back to arrange the washed dishes into their places.

"My clumsiness broke it again."

With a chance recollection of Namjoon's words from last night, she wondered if that was the reason. That, the kitchen had either silver, plastic or to the fanciest, melamine utensils and crockery.

SEOL AH : But can anyone possibly have only unbreakable stuffs in a house? (-looking at the vacuum cleaner-) I mean this is plastic. But, it can break too.

She had only placed her hand on the holder pipe of the vacuum and there was a crack down on the suction body.

SEOL AH : Jeez! I was just saying, you didn't have to prove yourself. (-caresses the crack-) Gosh! It's those days. I touch a thing, I break it.

The realization made her to reconsider, if it was a good day to clean. But, the fear of boredom filled her up to readily take the risk. Although, on a conscious condition, to be extra heedful.

SEOL AH : (-vacuuming in the hall-) Careful. Careful. Careful.

In a slow and calm pace, she used a plentiful time to clean the hall. The artificial garden, that the wide glass doors next to her room lead to; her own room and lastly stopped at Namjoon's studio.

SEOL AH : (-viewing the entire house from outside the studio-) See, I just need to be careful. (-smiles proudly-) Everything's under control. And clean!

She twirled on her toes to face the studio, the last stoppage. What could possibly go wrong, a question she overestimated and went in with her little partner, crackie– she named the vacuum cleaner.

SEOL AH : (-experiences a shiver-) What's with the freezing vibes here? (-hugs herself-)

The black curtains, obstructing the only nature's light falling in, made the aura furthermore icy and leaden.

Switching on the artificial lights instead, the empty guitar stand was the first thing to come to her notice.

With a sigh, she diverted her eyes to the right profile, trying to avoid reminiscing last night's occurrence on the left.

Starting with tiding up the paper alignment on the printer, she descried it was running out. And went for a new stack of papers piled up very next to the printer, on a rack.

Quietly refilling the printer, her eyes, inevitably, fell on the wall she never had a good observation of. Just like the dart board, there was another stuff, hanging lonely in that entire space.

SEOL AH : (-jaw drops-) H-handcuffs?

"RM has the dirtiest mind in BTS."

SEOL AH : Oh my god! (-dry coughs-) 

Rational SEOL AH : I am telling you guys, he is weird. I mean even if one has a BDSM kink, who flaunts it? You shouldn't have come here in the first place. 

Sensitive SEOL AH : Come on, Queen rational. You mustn't judge him or anyone this soon. He might've other reasons of having it. 

Rational SEOL AH : Seriously, Sensitive fairy? Other reasons. Yeah, unless he likes to handcuff himself on Saturday nights and that is still not weird to you. 

Sensitive SEOL AH : I am just saying-

SEOL AH : STOP it! No more words! And 'kind of names are those? What, 'queen rational' and 'sensitive fairy'? I must be kidding myself, seriously.

Seol Ah, struggling to cease her mind to pull out needless conclusions, carried on with vacuuming the room. Alas, too occupied and focused to shut her dual sides, the clumsy was bound to take advantage. 

Ineluctable hap, she absent-mindedly,  bumped the suction body to one of the foot of the glass showcase.
Of course, shaking the toys, with a few stumbling out of their spot— on a flight to land on the ground.

However, she managed to save two, just an inch above the floor and smiled with attainment. But, it didn't last long as a small Mario figure dropped broke, right next to her stretched out hand.

With a heavy sigh, she carefully placed the toys back on the case. The ones, she succeeded to save.

However, before the clumsy pants could attempt bending down to the broken figure, in the flash of a second, Namjoon appeared suddenly. Startling her again, with his cold voice.

NJ : What are you doing here?

SEOL AH : Uh-.. um.. I am sorry.

His eyes followed hers to the floor as he walked to her rather in fury, hands tucked in pockets.

NJ : (-coldly-) That's not a possible answer to my question, I believe.

SEOL AH : (-hardly meeting eyes-) I was just trying to clean.

NJ : Did I ask you of it? 'Cause I don't remember doing that.

SEOL AH : No. I was just bored and had to do somethi-

NJ : (-yells-) Off day! I asked you to take an off. So, just REST. How hard is that for you?

Her heart at this point started to beat, exceedingly fast at his unexpected yell.

SEOL AH : (-looking down-) I am sorry~

NJ : Sor-.. (-losing it-) Really? What are you sorry for?

She bit her lips close, cheeks warming against his scold. No words could form out of her in that instant. 

NJ : A sorry doesn't always solve the problem, but it sure makes you a pushover. Don't be such an easy meat. Have some dignity. If you don't respect yourself, nobody else will.

His slap on her self regard and pride, made her snap at him with a wronged stare. Still with no words coming out on her stand, however.

Her subordinates constantly reminding her of her faults, which were nowhere hers, but only dumped upon. She came to accept herself guilty every time, without much enquiry.

Namjoon casted light on the very truth she hated to admit. Maybe she was indeed a pushover to debate against and remained quiet.

The former lashed out of the room, leaving her in the realization and the time to let it through her throat.

Throughout the whole stay in the Black mansion, she has never been complimented or said a few nice words to boost up her self esteem. Yet, she was indulgent to help him.

Help him get an agency. Help him overall.

—Why?

She asked herself indignantly as a few tears glazed her eyes, reliving the moment of his rebuke.

The times when Namjoon smiled with all his genuine emotions, the dimples cheerfully showing off. When he looked happy- were now sadly limited to some YouTube videos only. 

He lacked his old luster.

—And for what reasons were his uncharitable words, not quite hurtful to her pride?

Maybe the word choice he had—straight heartless but brutally honest.

Be it 3 months or a permanent work, she was principled to do it with efficiency and give it her best shot.

Therefore, Seol Ah consoled herself to be considerate towards his current situation.

The night hours—finding him resting outside by the artificial garden next to her room. She was struck by the tune, she had been humming the entire day.

Upon looking it up, only one person came to her mind. Likely, she advanced her feet towards the glass doors, carefully sliding them to make her enough space to scoop in.

Namjoon, although aware of her, kept his eyes closed—unbothered of her presence.

Playing the song on her phone, she kept it on the small table next to him and retreated to leave.

"Jinaga~"

His eyes now shot open at the perception of his song and whipped at her direction. Only to find her leaving.

"Onjenga~"

NJ : (-in sync-) I am sorry.

Seol Ah froze on her way. But, his words with the musical background sounded so much humane and warm, that it melted her very freeze as she turned to his side. 

NJ : I am sorry for yelling at you earlier. (-looks ahead-)

SEOL AH : Uh-.. I am sorry too. For lying last night and having broken that figure today. I will get you a new one or maybe compensate otherwise.

NJ : Those are from my fans. They can neither be replaced nor priced.

SEOL AH : Ah, I didn't know that. I am so sor-

NJ : (-cutting her off-) It's okay. (-seeing the phone kept on the table-) And what's this about?

SEOL AH : Oh, this.. Well, I don't know what you are going through currently. Nonetheless, I wanted to remind you that "it will pass, eventually". And that, "everything goes".

Namjoon felt a foreign emotion, invade his heart's gloomy palace. Never had he thought, the words he once wrote to reach others would direct back to him one day, let alone effortlessly comfort him.

NJ : (-calmly-) Don't have questions today?

SEOL AH : (-shakes her head-) I don't seem to be curious enough.

NJ : Ah, I see.

She re-attempted to leave, but something made Namjoon stop her. More like, in a reflex.

NJ : Seol Ah-ssi.

SEOL AH : Yes? 

NJ : Can't you stay here for a while?

SEOL AH : Pardon? (-clueless-)

NJ : I mean, you'll have to take your phone back when the song's over.

SEOL AH : Ah, ye. I will stay then. 

She didn't word against his wish, ignoring the lameness of his excuse and took a seat on her side of the tiny coffee table.

Through the restful serene hours, with him calmly leaned to the soft cushions of the chair—he felt being elevated away from the chaos, his heart was in.

It was after years that he saw himself under such bright light with soft creamy hues, stroking in. He could faintly discern the deafening tumult, which he had been trying to escape from, slowly nearing him.

Shaky hands covered ears, eyes squeezing shut, body in the verge of breaking down— when a defined voice, pierced in through his muffled ears.

Searching for the source, he discerned a figure at a far distance. Confused of the blurriness, he tried rubbing his eyes only to realize, it was him. It was his old self, RM.

RM was singing on a big stage, with the furore being from the millions of fans— cheering for him all around the arena.

It seemed to have erased from his memories, how bright he shone when he performed for Armys. And how fulfilling it would feel, everytime standing on the stage.

Namjoon grew a little conscious when RM looked at him in the eyes, while singing his verses with a smile. 

RM : "Just like the night leaves and the morning comes
The spring leaves and summer comes, but
Just like the flower wilts and the fruit grows ripe
Everything needs to go through pain
Embrace the world and suck in a breath
That prickling air that fills up your lungs says everything
Yeah, back when I wished to drink it in innumerable times
Underneath those old times when I, a fool, grew dull

Everyday I pray
That I may become a slightly better adult
And everyday I stay
Since both people and pain will all die one day
If you want to become dull, you need to go out in the wind
You know forever isn't possible in dreams
Instead of unclear words saying to have strength
Instead of the lies that it's all just the way things are
Just like all these winds
That like the winds it will pass
I pray"

SEOL AH : Everything goes~

He was cliff-fallen from the sudden appearance of Seol Ah. Eyes shot wide with ruffled rhythms of breath. Namjoon snapped on his right, to find her peacefully sleeping.

His heart gradually calmed down, feeling even the slightest disturbance would bring a wrinkle in her smooth resting face. Quite puzzled, he wondered why would he hate being a discomfort to her.

The same words which didn't quite help him over the years, strangely infused the healings now. Maybe it was a conveyance, that he needed. Maybe it was merely a screen, that he needed to reflect the words.

Everyone spoke the cliché—if he couldn't help himself, no one else can. But, maybe he only needed the words to be delivered. A third person, just reading the words of console to him.

And maybe, he was unaware of his need himself.

Empathy was it? Or just a pity—he silently asked her as if she would now read minds while in her sleep.

With the song edging towards the end, a mixed feeling girdled him. He wished it lasted a little longer, a little longer of the peace.

"Pigawa
(It rains)"

"Modeungeon
(Everything)"

"Jinaga
(It passes~)"

The music seized, bringing him to the realization of  his fixed stare at her ever since. He immediately withdrew his eyes back.

Deep sigh followed by, raising his hand to stir her up.

NJ : (-knocks on the table-) Seol Ah-ssi, wake up.

She slowly opened her eyes, squinting them towards him and looking around—to comprehend where she was.

NJ : You shouldn't sleep here. Go inside.

SEOL AH : (-looks at him, still sleepy-) Ah, ye. And you?

NJ : I will stay for a bit more.

She almost close eyed, nodded. And Namjoon handed her phone, that she was nowhere aware of taking with her.

Stumbling legs, she managed to walk inside without bumping her head anywhere, clutching the phone in her palms.

It was one of the rare nights of workless hours. A tranquil night, before a tiresome long week.

With the facade of peace, inside was a chaotic mess—underneath his closed eyes and calmly rested body.

The morning after, set off a totally different image of the 'busy Namjoon', that Seol Ah had seen in her entire stay so far.

He would hardly spare her a glance, completely absorbed making up for a day's pile up. Alternatively, Seol Ah would try, doing all her assigned duties without a mistake and would often leave some words of cheer—stuck with his coffees.

She, once curious of his reactions, peeked on him. Only to see Namjoon pluck her notes and dump them, soon after running a brief view.

Rational SA : (-scoffs-) Is that how he treats someone's compassion? (-sees sensitive Seol Ah sulking-) Hope you learn your lessons now and stop getting your emotions rule over. 

Rational Seol Ah walked her body with heavy footsteps, busying her back into work. Pissed mood was evident in her sharpened actions. 

Namjoon, no more finding the little stick ons, that he grew to anticipate for everyday, wondered the sudden absence of it. Then again, it was only a sip's wonderment, before he occupied himself back.

After a lengthy and fatiguing arduous week, away from the quotidian, it was the final hour of accomplishment. The one, where his new album was to reach out to the world.

Both holding their breaths, till the seek showed 100% of upload, sighed a big one.  Although, in a relieved smile as it was successfully done.

NJ : (-finally, looking at her-) Great work!

SEOL AH : You too, worked hard! Actually more than me.

NJ : Imm.. is that so? Well, I will go to bed first then. Can you tidy these up for me?

The couch table was in a little mess, that she was confident enough to clean herself.

SEOL AH : Gladly.

NJ : (-stands up-) I will trust you then, thanks.

He, without much formalities, quietly left for his room while she followed his steps with her eyes and a proud smile on her lips.

SEOL AH : (-seeing him go inside him room-) He seems so much like a normal human now and not an ox in the field.

The next morning~

It was 8 and Namjoon, in his studio, was checking out the response his mini album received. The unaware him, didn't in his wildest dreams, expect Seol Ah at that hour to crash land on his studio.

SEOL AH : DID YOU SEE THIS ?!

_____

I apologize for taking so long to update. 😬

I will try to come early next time.
Stay tuned with the Kims!

Wait, did I just get an alternative title for the book?

"The Kims"

Lol. I will just see myself out. ^.^

Behind the scenes :
Namjoon noticing her being moody, during the busy week.

Dinner table, 9 : 38 p.m.

.

.

NJ : Are you mad at me? 

SEOL AH : Me? Why would I be?

NJ : I would know that once you tell me. Now that I look at it, I haven't been paying much attention. Did I do something wrong? 

SEOL AH : What can you possibly do wrong? (-sarcastic-) You are perfect!

NJ : It does sound like a compliment. Strangely, doesn't feel like so.

Seol Ah, completely ignoring his words, concentrated to finish the last remains of her serving, as quickly as possible. 

SEOL AH : Someone might mistake this as a couple's quarrel, if we continue. (-gets up with her dishes-) Thanks for the food. Now if you'll excuse me. 

Before Namjoon could do much from following her actions around. Seol Ah, done with the dishes, walked straight ahead to her room and lightly slammed the door behind her.  

NJ : Couple..'s quarrel? (-blinks, clueless-)

Without brooding over it anymore, he resumed to eat only to suddenly realize something.

NJ : Wait. Did I break something that belongs to her? 

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