"I'll run to you, if you want me to
Just give me some kind of reason."

~Lea Michele

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Seol Ah, casually and absentmindedly walking by the pavement, was startled by a car honk as if harshly imposed at her.

She reflexively whipped at the direction and found a black car coming to a halt next to her.
The black shades of the windows were obstructing her view of the person sitting inside.

As she waited for any movements from the same, the front door clicked open revealing a man in his mid 20s, dressed in a black formal suit.

SEOL AH : (-recognizing him-) Onh, Dae Min-ie! (-smiles-)

KIM : Long time, Seol. Oh, should I say, Seol Ah-ssi now?

SEOL AH : Ay, Seol is fine. Don't be so formal, since I wasn't either.

KIM : (-chuckles-) Okay. How have you been?

SEOL AH : Oh, I was alright. What about you? And Ji Min too, is she doing fine?

KIM : We are all good. And thanks to you, she wants to be an author. Getting a habit of writing, she says she has found her purpose in life. And to us, her enthusiasm gives a lot relief.

SEOL AH : (-happy-) Wow! That's really great. Wish her luck from my side and I will be looking forward to her works. (-excited-)

KIM : I will transfer your words in quotations. Anyway, how come you are here in this neighborhood?

SEOL AH : (-nervously-) Uh, me? Well, I was just here for a shoot.

She only had a small sling bag with her that wouldn't fit any cameras inside. Kim could see through her lie but didn't point it out.

SEOL AH : (-realizes and continues-) But, I forgot the camera at home. So, I was just leaving. (-changing the topic-) What about you? Are you heading somewhere?

KIM : No, I just drove Sir, home.

SEOL AH : Ah, I see.

KIM : And I am here to deliver his message to you.

SEOL AH : To me? A message?

KIM : (-nods once-) He invited you to the black mansion right now, if you have time.

SEOL AH : To the Black mansion? Right now?

KIM : Yes. Although, he has also given you a choice to reject the invitation.

Seol Ah seemed perplexed, finding herself at a two way intersection once again. Which to take and which to abandon, none weighing heavier.

KIM : What say? Are you coming? I can get you through the security.

SEOL AH : Dae Min-ah, let me ask you this as a friend. What should I do? I don't know what is right or wrong anymore.

KIM : Make a choice that leaves you with no regrets.

Kim was reminded of the ride he provided her on her last day as Namjoon's manager. He had only seen her bawl her eyes during the entire drive through. Not to mention, Namjoon's demoralized condition after he reached back home.
Both ended up stumbling and hurt- the only fear, Kim was apprehending.

KIM : Ask yourself if you'd regret rejecting his invitation later. If it's a yes, you know what to do.

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Seol Ah contemplated for a good minute before trying to raise her hand and force the door inwards.

The house guard had already entered the code in the lock, she only had to push the door open.

With a heavy inhale, she gently forced the door only to reveal Namjoon standing in the straight vicinity near the dining table. Hands carried inside his pockets and with a wistful stare, he just stood still‐ looking at her direction.

Seol Ah let out the exhale she has been holding and returned his gaze with yet another longing stare. Both rooted in their places with restraints and sobriety, reminding themselves of their frontiers and limits.

"Make a choice that leaves you with no regrets."

Kim's words giving her the courage, Seol Ah stepped inside the house with one thought, "let's not add to the regrets anymore".

SEOL AH : (-bows-) Annyeonghaseyo. How have you been?

Namjoon could hardly take his eyes off her and forcefully looked away, not intending to creep her out.

NJ : Yeah, well and good. How about you? Everything fine with your channel?

SEOL AH : Yes, it's running smooth. (-looking around the hall-) Everything-.. (-notices the black curtains removed-) Onh, the picture is put up now.

NJ : Im. There's no one coming here anymore. So, I let it out.

SEOL AH : Ah, but I wasn't meaning that. Are you fine with it now?

Namjoon stayed silent for a few seconds, wondering if she remembers everything he said to her.

NJ : (-nods-) Well, I kind of got used to it. I see the members in the agency often too. It's okay now.

SEOL AH : That's nice. I was really glad when you joined BigHit again.

Namjoon smiled‐ both having a fast heartbeat and hoping the other would say next.

NJ : Um- Do you have time now? I don't want to unnecessarily bind you here.

SEOL AH : Oh well, I usually rest on weekend evenings. So, fine with me.

NJ : (-nods-) Thanks for coming. (-with a small smile-)

SEOL AH : (-awkwardly-) Ye. Nothing big.

There was an obvious awkwardness between them, quite to their displeasure.

Maybe things would've been better if no strings ever attached or atleast were kept under the dark forever. But, if it had been so, would there be a reason for them to meet at that hour?

NJ : Ah, I am really sorry but can you wait a little in the garden? I need to make an important call.

SEOL AH : Oh, sure. Don't mind me.

With the lie easily bought by her, he shut himself in the confines of his room. The excruciating heartache to see her so close yet so far to reach, he was feeling broken.

He needed a moment to castle the slipping emotions with heavier security before facing her again.

Meanwhile, Seol Ah feasted her eyes on the scenery ahead of her, after the long time it had been. Especially from the angle and view of the artificial garden, it held nostalgia and memories to her.

Namjoon soon joined in, diverting her attention to the left. Only to notice something, hung on the wall beside the window of her room.

SEOL AH : Oh, binoculars! You brought them finally.

NJ : Yeah, it wasn't bad to view the sea closer from here. But, now that I could zoom in, I noticed something strange.

SEOL AH : (-clueless-) Onh, what is that?

NJ : There's always a female figure on the bridge near the sea, every weekend. Around 4 in the evening, was it?

Seol Ah had a cold sweat and in all pale and blue, stayed silent- very cautious not making any thoughtless comment.

NJ : Do you know, what is weird though? It was oddly disappointing not to see her there yester'eve. Turns out, the bridge is closed since the last few days.

SEOL AH : Ah, that's what happened.

NJ : But, you see, that made me more curious. To know, why would she go there. Why was it always the weekends? Why was it 4 o'clock?

SEOL AH : (-nervously-) She must've had her reasons.

NJ : Imm.. although not very sure, but I think I know who it is. So I was wondering, whether she would tell me her reasons, if I asked her directly.

She gulped almost shaking from anxiety, not looking at his direction at all.

SEOL AH : W-who is it?

Namjoon unlocked his phone and projected her the picture he had once taken through the binoculars.

NJ : Here. I think, you know her too.

Seol Ah's eyes slightly widened at the screen and looked away nervously, still choosing to play innocent.

Sensing her quietness, Namjoon spoke again as he tucked the cellphone back into his pockets.

NJ : What were your reasons, Seol Ah-ssi?

She whipped at him in shock, finally believing he actually knew it was her. Today as she attempted to visit that place, she was knowledged about the same being shut. Later, she carelessly asked the cab driver to take her to Gangbuk, near the celebrity dwellings.

Within a few minutes of strolling in those streets, as if following imaginary foot prints of Namjoon. Seol Ah, asked herself if she was being practical about her inane actions.

Therefore, as she was retreating back to her sane world, she met Kim earlier.

SEOL AH : (-watching the sight-) I missed the sea.

Although, quite pathetic to herself, she would ask the sea if Namjoon was doing well. To Seol Ah, sea was the closest she could step towards him.
And even though, the latter couldn't be discerned from the bridge, distinctly. She would still blindly look at the direction of the black mansion sometimes.

SEOL AH : So, I began to visit it on weekends whenever I had time. Didn't realize when it had become a routine though.

No matter how uncool and/or how miserable that made her look, it was her peace place and she was not judgemental about it.

Namjoon stayed silent for a moment and they were both staring at the water body, coherently.

NJ : Won't you ask for my reasons? As to why I would watch you everytime you appeared.

SEOL AH : (-hesitantly-) Wh-why?

NJ : Since, I missed you.

Seol Ah's eyes shifted to his face swiftly, who was still looking ahead— wearing a tranquil mien.

NJ : (-applying her words-) Didn't realize when it had become a habit to expect seeing you there.

Seol Ah attained a silence, little stunned at his words which were spoken without a speck of hesitation or reluctance.

NJ : (-breaking the silence-) I am sorry.

SEOL AH : What for?

Namjoon dodged to mention the actual reason of his apology. That, he was sorry for being selfish enough to abandon not only his but also her feelings for the sake of his career. Rather he tried to cover it with an excuse.

NJ : Calling you up here like an unprofessional. Just because I wanted to see you once. (-scoffs-) How petty of me.

SEOL AH : Well, I too agreed to come when I had the choice not to. I was also unprofessional about that.

It was a swapped role of scene. This time, Namjoon stared at her while her view was fixed straight ahead.

Namjoon withdrew his eyes from her and contemplated for a minute, if he should really give in to the tempt he was urged from inside.

NJ : Honestly, I regretted.

SEOL AH : Regretted?

NJ : (-nods-) To let go of you then. I regretted the moment you left and I still do.

SEOL AH : (-moments apart-) You never asked me to leave but it was not like I stayed too. So, don't regret all alone. In a relationship of two, there's no one completely innocent.

Neither looked away from the scenery, nature had painted before them.
Namjoon, nevertheless, had a small smile realizing she was still the Seol Ah he had known. Witty and well spoken.

NJ : Can't it never work for us?

In the entire evening, finally they caught a gaze- longs surfacing, tempts edging, gulps dry. However, they diverged their sights immediately, finding it extremely difficult to resist the tears threatening to pour out any moment.

SEOL AH : The reason that made you let go then. Has it gone now?

NJ : (-heavy heart-) No. It is still there.

Seol Ah, helplessly, felt a sudden heartache at the ever so known answer. Maybe for the slightest of the slight chances, she was expecting in a different hour, his answer to be different as well.

SEOL AH : Then, we still have the same choice to make. "We can't do this."

Namjoon felt a bitter tingle at his words being repeated back to him. But, he held no longer to say the words he wanted to.

NJ : At first, I thought it was just the upshot of working and living together. Because, we are humans and that, it is natural for us to be attached.

Seol Ah blinked rapidly to soak the tears back while waiting for him to continue.

NJ : But, I realized in this one year time. How awfully I wanted to rewind to that day and choose the road I didn't. The hurt I caused, I thought it would be monentary. But, it is still the same. Still, unbearably painful.

It was once again a deadly silence between the two, just reminiscing those tormenting moments they suffered for taking the road they did.

NJ : I know this might sound overboard. (-voice cracking-) But, it's hard to breath at times because of a certain suffocation in the guts. It happens when I am in a room, it also happens when I am out in the air.

His raw words only stimulated her tears, screaming how exactly they fitted to her days when she wanted to give up everything and mindlessly run back to him.
Just so she could use it as an excuse, she even left her shirt button behind. But, maybe she could never sum up the courage.

NJ : No matter where I go, it is same. I even went for a check-up, to be rational. But, they didn't find anything wrong with my body. I am fine, but I don't feel like it.

Seol Ah sniffled and wiped her cheeks of the tears and realized quite an hour had passed since she was there. Thereupon, she resorted to taking her leave like before, choosing the road easier to walk on.

Turning around and with a brief bow to him, Seol Ah, formally took her leave.
His hands burried into his pockets, eyes forming tears and heart threated by the fear of losing her again. Namjoon, rooted in his position, was urged to speak the unspoken.

NJ : Can't you stay?

How desperately he wanted to say those simple words once, no one but only he knew it.
Seol Ah freezed in her motion with a tear dropping from her eyes simultaneously.

They stood in close vicinity but looked in opposite directions.

NJ : I sincerely want to give us a chance. Our priorities remain where they are. Can't we, for once, genuinely try without clashing them.

Little from him and little from her, they were diagonally turned to each other. Looking deep into the other's eyes as if searching for their answers in them, they said no word for the sake of the moment.

SEOL AH : (-speaks softly-) Can we really do that?

What happened then? - Nobody knows, what occured to the taller of the two to pull the other into the much yearned embrace.

NJ : (-with sniffles-) Please, Seol-ah~

He firmed his hug, heedful of the amount of strengths at the same time. It was an embrace, he would dream to have just one last time that he was well revised on the do's and don'ts.

His tightly closed eyes squeezing out tears as he lived every second of her touch.

However, having no reaction from her, Namjoon's fear grew profound as he silently whirred some countless pleads.

NJ : (-faintly-) Please~

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Last part coming tomorrow!

Let's all pray together for these people.
🧘🏼‍♀️