SEOL AH : Well, I did date once. And that lasted a week. (-grins-) But no, honestly because he had to move to a different state and we were both not confident about the long distance drama. So we ended it, before it grew too serious. (-reading next question-)

"That went well," he said in his mind with a smile of relief plastering over.

SEOL AH : (-looks up at the camera again-) Oh, and no I don't have a boyfriend as of now. (-awkward silence-) Moving on.

With that pronounced, Namjoon wondered bitterly about his obsession over the thought that they must remain loyal. He discouraged the feeling of jealousy that gripped him when she mentioned about her dating life.

He reminded himself, the maximum Seol Ah he could have to himself was only the shirt button and that he must never be greedy for more.

SEOL AH : Do I listen to Kpop? (-answering-) Yes, I do. (-teeth smile-) Although, I didn't before(?)

Greed or longing, which side he was standing at. If the latter, was it really wrong to long? Or was it too late?‐ questions like these, rambled in the back of his mind. Namjoon, trying to pay the least heed to those gormless thoughts, watched further with one mind.

SEOL AH : Who is your favorite group or solo artist and who is your bias? (-answering-) I don't think I have any, they are all great. Hae In sends me her favorites every now and then, that's fairly the much I listen to. (-grins-) I am sorry, you lost me there.

An innocent curiosity blew up in his wonderment if among the artists she listens to, has him anywhere in the list.

SEOL AH : The last one. Plains or Hills? (-answering-) This is hard. I enjoy both wherever I am, but to each his own. To me, it depends more on who I am with. (-analyses what she said in her mind-) Yeah. If I have a good company, anywhere is fine, I guess.

Namjoon couldn't help a smile spreading over his face at her remarks. How she offended none and placed her words in the right form tickled him.

SEOL AH : Okay! That's it for this video. I am sorry that I don't do these often. I will try to work on that. (-hyped up-) And lastly, congratulations on 500,000 subscribers!! I genuinely appreciate you all, every single one of you, for the support. Thanks everyone for the watch, see you soon. And zoom out!

The video did a flip zoom out transition and played her outro for a few seconds. Namjoon didn't skip a moment of the recording till it ended.

Very strangely, he found himself calm and restful as if he never woke up from a night terror, a while ago.

.

.

Amidst the hectic schedules- tours, promotions and concerts, time flew quite fast and soon stood at one year since he joined BigHit.

MC : Album of the year award goes to.... WORDS by Kim Nam Joon. (-smiles-) Congratulations!

Loud claps echoed in the huge arena of the ceremony with an ecstatic cheer as Namjoon stood up from his seat with a wide smile. He received the shower of applauding hugs from the members who were seated with him- cameras focusing the moments.

Jeongguk and Jimin, acting like bodyguards, escorted him to the stairs of the stage being the dorks they were before disbanding.

Namjoon, with his humble self, received the award and the flower bouquet politely before standing at the mic.

He just quietly admired the fan cheers, shining through the stadium for a moment.

NJ : Ye. Thank you very much, everyone. Honestly, I don't know if I really deserve this. It was all your untiring support and love you have shown that deserves an award in true sense.

The members watched their old leader speaking, with pure admiration in their faces.

NJ : Frankly speaking, I was really scared I might never get to see all of this again. But, standing here today, being welcomed by your loud cheer, I feel like I have woken up from the nightmare now.

He held back tears, earning a sad awe from the crowd. Namjoon chuckled at the sound heard from the stage and spoke again with a heavier voice.

NJ : I hope all my sincere gratitude reaches every single one who has listened to Words and have been my constant succour. To the ones who managed me when I had no agency. I am sorry for making you go through a hard time, but also thank you for bearing with me then. Lastly, PD-nim.

The members in their seats cracked up at his address to Bang PD out of nowhere in an emotional speech of acceptance.

NJ : Thank you for saying those words to me 1 year ago. For advising me to return home. (-on TV screen-) Or I might've been still wandering around. (-grins looking down-) Thank you so much, everyone!

The clip was paused at that point by the news channel, running in the television of the cafè. That award show clip of Namjoon repeatedly played on mute in the corner of the screen, as the news anchor proceeded her delivery.

NEWS ANCHOR : Singer Kim Nam Joon have been hiding under the fictional name, "Black". "Why did he do that? What was his purpose behind it?" Questions like these are calling to be answered. Tonight, he will be holding a live conference to answer these many questions. Stay tuned with RHS news.

Faint and indistinct murmurs spread through the entire setting, as the concerned scene focused to a table near the glass view.

"Our Oppa doesn't have a day of rest. Why are these people always pestering him for nonsense things? Why can't they just leave him alone?"One of the two girls spoke her umbrage at the reporters.

"Do you believe, it's not him?" The other, while casually sipping her barley tea, quizzed her back.

"Well, even if he is, he might have a reason to keep it hidden." Not a second apart, she added, "But honestly, I am a little curious too."

With a scoff, sitting across her, the one holding the tea passed on a mock, "Who just said to leave him alone?"

"Ay, Kim Seol Ah-ssi, don't be such a bitch to me. I am your only friend in Korea. What if I ditch you? Aren't you even scared about that?" She tried to threaten Seol Ah sipping her dalgona coffee.

SEOL AH : So, are you really going to? Ditch me? "Moonlit fan club", do you know who runs that? Yoon. Hae. In-

HAE IN : (-cutting her off-) Yah! Don't be so loud, people might hear you. (-sighs-) Okay, I won't. I won't ditch you. You know too many of my secrets.

For the next few minutes, there was silence in the table. Hae In was seen lost in her mind, matching the puzzel pieces. While, Seol Ah, apprehending her friend's senses to glow up any moment, braced herself.

HAE IN : Wait a second! (-looks at her wide eyed-) You-

SEOL AH : (-avoids her eyes-) No, I didn't.

HAE IN : It's correct! You did work for "Black". Waaah, then, was it really the Kim Namjoon? Our Joonie Oppa?! The one whom you managed for 3 months?

SEOL AH : I did not.

HAE IN : Yah, don't lie to me. I remember telling you not to interview for Mr.Black. But, few days later I get a call that you've already signed the contract. You never told me who it was or how he looked like.

Seol Ah chose to stay silent and concentrated on her tea. The face reader Hae In, across the table, grasped her pretence and smelled her wants to avoid eyes.

HAE IN : (-leans closer and whispers-) Yah, you are like an open book, right now. Why didn't you tell me, it was Oppa? It's been over a year since you came back.

SEOL AH : So, what would you have done knowing about it? Get a picture with him? Get his autograph? —Oh no, that's not it, 'cause you have already done that many times.

HAE IN : Yaah, I wouldn't have done that of course. But, you have known how much I admire him.

SEOL AH : Not telling you was not by choice. It was one of the rules to not reveal his identity to anyone. "He must have a reason to keep it hidden."  Your words they are.

HAE IN : Ah, that's sounds about right. Anyway, past is in past. Tell me now. Like, how was it? He is very calm and gentle, isn't he? Give me some information that I can post at M'Lit tonight.

Fortunately, Seol Ah was atleast relieved, that she never mentioned about staying in his house to Hae In.

SEOL AH : I don't remember. 365 days, long time.

HAE IN : Ya, don't be like that. Moonies are really down ever since the fake rumors came around or revelations, whatever that is. I must do something to cheer them up. C'mon on, tell me something.

SEOL AH : Alright. He gets two dimples when he smiles. (-poking her own cheeks-) Like this.

HAE IN : (-poker face-) Are you serious, right now?

SEOL AH : That's what I am telling you. You have been following him since what? Middle school? And I barely know him. How do you expect me to know him more than you do?

HAE IN : It sounds like a compliment, but I strangely don't feel good.

The feeling was a little offensive indeed. Although, she had no roles in his life anymore. Yet, Seol Ah would often get cranky and irritable to see other women drooling over him.

HAE IN : (-daydreaming-) Oww, how I wish he still hired his managers though.

SEOL AH : But, you already have a job.

HAE IN : So what? You also had YouTube. Besides, I can always take a break for him. It's once in a lifetime opportunity afterall.

Seol Ah lightly slammed the tea cup on the small plate, causing Hae In to flinch back to reality.

SEOL AH : I am tired, see you later. (-walks away-)

HAE IN : Yah, let's go together!

Seeing Seol Ah almost storming out of the cafè, Hae In paid the bills and followed her quick.

.

.

SEOL AH : Hae In-ah.

HAE IN : Imm?

SEOL AH : That fanclub. Don't discontinue it. Ever.

HAE IN : Always getting pissed at my fangirling. What got into you suddenly?

SEOL AH : And even if you do. Just keep supporting your 'Oppa'. During hard times, it's only the genuine fans who are by your side that makes it all worth the hassle and pain. So, just stick by his side like the true fans you always were.

HAE IN : Why that sudden mood flip though? Well, of course, we will do that. But wait, are these all his words for his fans that he mentioned to you?

SEOL AH : You think so?

HAE IN : Now, seeing your expressions, I don't.

Seol Ah slightly grinned to herself as she continued while walking side by side.

SEOL AH : Tonight, no matter what kind of truth is revealed. Don't believe in anything until he makes a statement on that himself.

HAE IN : (-nods with a smile-) We will continue to do what we used to : believe in him. Don't worry. When it comes to us, it's not loyalty. It's patriotism.

SEOL AH : (-chuckles-) Anyway, he will be grateful. Also, thank you from me too.

HAE IN : Why? Ah, that cafè bill. Well, you are paying me for that.

SEOL AH : Cheapstake.

HAE IN : Yah, isn't that you right now? And it's economical living, sweetie. I don't let people owe me.

SEOL AH : Ye ye. I will buy lunch next time. Anyway, I was saying it for the feature. I don't know why they keep asking for you often.

HAE IN : Ah, how about you sell your channel to me then?

SEOL AH : Dream on!

HAE IN : (-grins-) You do know, right? You look funny when you are jealous. (-laughs-)

SEOL AH : You do know, right? That you are a brat. I am leaving.

HAE IN : Where to? Ah, right! That place? It's weekend already. I don't understand, why you always have to go there on weekends. And that too alone? (-seconds after-) Hey, do you have a secret boyfriend you go to dates with in that place of yours?

SEOL AH : Don't be ridiculous. And I am not going today. I have to work on some videos I have been procrastinating from and I don't have other time.

HAE IN : Uh huh, so only tomorrow then?

SEOL AH : Right. I have to stop going there too. Someday certainly. Will take this decrement as the first step.

HAE IN : Once you successfully stop. Will you be telling me about it then? (-hopeful-)

SEOL AH : No. I am taking off. Be safe!

HAE IN : Call me, bitch!

Seol Ah waved without looking back as she walked her way. Hae In smiled at her and waited for the red lights to cross the road.

Seol Ah put the entire evening to edit the videos for the month's last vlog project— from the usual schedule of two vlogs every month. She would often upload other fun contents throughout the month, unclashed with the vlog weeks.

SEOL AH : (-sees the time-) Oh, it's already 7 : 40. Let's upload this quick.

With a brief check for the last minute errors, Seol Ah ran the server to upload the final draft from her laptop.

Bare with any works, her mind wandered back to the news statement.

Recalling the conference to be held tonight, Seol Ah picked her phone and searched for the broadcast.

It had already started and thus she had no time to think. Seol Ah just dived right into the live conference.

REPORTERS : Why did you play this con? Please reveal your true intentions.

NJ : "True Intentions"? (-holding the indignation-) As you might have known, there was a controversy airing two years ago. Although, now very few people know about it. It was quite a hard time for me then.

Camera flashes snapped at him constantly. Seol Ah felt a little upset at the reporter's insensitive comments.

NJ : No matter how self managed I am, having a manager would lessen the responsibilities even just a little. Don't you think?

Watching him directly after a long while, she experienced a weird twist in her stomach. Regardless, she paid attention to the seriousness of the matter then.

NJ : But, nobody wanted to work for me. All thanks to the spice added to the aired reports and articles.

Seol Ah found her answers to the questions she was still left with. Finally, knowing the reasons behind the contract he imposed then, she felt a little apologetic to cuss at him in those hours.

NJ : What was so great about the rejection? Is that a crime? You must've also been rejected somewhere, does that stop your life? You are standing confidently with your mike today, aren't you?

Maybe she must've been a little more considerate. It would've been better if she believed that he must have his reasons before bad mouthing. Since now, all that she has of him are the memories of the moments she had been guilty.
Seol Ah would inevitably tear up at the thousand other memories and hence would hardly want to recall any of the good times with him.

NJ : But, it was made a big deal then. I had no choice than to hide myself under a mask. Just so people would... Actually this is funny. People felt safer to approch an unknown personality, 'Mr. Black' over me. (-sarcastic smile-)

The reporters were slapped by the sass in his words. However, the resilient covering they form on themselves in their harsh job, made them blatantly continue their interrogation.

REPORTER : We have also heard about the malicious contract you made your managers sign. Any takes on that?

NJ : I believe, I have only taken the measures to protect my mask and be managed for a short time. I had to opt to something that they could work for me whilst ensuring their safety. I wouldn't be literally wearing a hide in my own house, would I?

The conference further continued with the reporters delivering their comments without the least contemplation.

Seol Ah found it unfair to watch anymore and tossed her phone on the couch, her back was leaned to.

A long sigh escaped her mouth as she rested her head back and wondered if he was going to be okay after the conference. Or lock his hands and cry through the night in the artificial garden. If so, would he be receiving any console or just left alone like he used to say.

She could only wonder.

As the vlog upload was completed, she listlessly turned all the gadgets off and plopped on her soft bed.

All these times apart, she found herself an excuse this night ‐to sulk over missing the place that Hae In mentioned earlier.

Not wanting her lane to descend down the road of tears, she immediately ordered her dinner. And busied herself in reading a novel in the meantime.

Once the tear bubble was teased, nothing could stop it. With the first bite of the arrived food, a tear, unavoidably, slipped down her eyes.

She blamed it to the spices as she wiped her cheeks quickly and stuffed her mouth to the brim.

Seol Ah could barely chew in the little space and choked in the next instant, eyes watering naturally. Drinking water to ease the slurp around her throat, she placed some hits to her chest at the stuffiness. Another excuse made up against the hurt that was burning in there for a year now.

Miles away, in the artificial garden of the black mansion, Namjoon breathed the fresh air under the moonlight with a certain peace in his heart.

With a little criticism nevertheless, the greater mass aided with his coming out on the matter. His sincere words won him the hearts of the supporters in the end.

He learnt that being honest, does elevate one from the needless weight carried under the lies.

However, he was still feeling a little unsettled because of the evening's strange hap.

Namjoon, clasping his binocular, heedfully zoomed in to the view he was wanting to get. Even in that darkness, he was persistently willing to recieve even just a glimpse.

But was only met with disappointment.

The next day, as he was returning from BigHit he looked at the time; the specific hour he would anticipate for every weekend. Just how he faced the reality to look inside the box if there was the button. He wanted to face yesterday's unsettlement in the same way then.

KIM : (-driving-) Ah, that bridge near the sea?

NJ : Yes. Head there before we go home.

KIM : (-politely-) Ye. At your call.

Kim entered the sight location in the navigation bar, without wasting a second. Upon an error obstructing the same, he checked through his phone and all other means he could, to verify before countering the order.

KIM : Sir.

NJ : What happened?

KIM : (-finds it hard to upset him-) That place seems to be closed since a few days now. Under renovation, they say.

NJ : (-lost in thoughts-) Ah, I see.

"Maybe that's why she wasn't there yesterday," Namjoon mumbled to himself as Kim interrupted next.

KIM : Shall I still take you there?

NJ : No, let it be. Just head home.

KIM : (-politely-) Ye.

There formed a silence again and so was it through the rest of the usual ride.

Who knew what unusual did the usual have in treasure for the Kims that day.

Just as the carriage was about to enter the restricted area, Namjoon's sight that was carelessly viewing outside, alarmed at once seeing Seol Ah there.

She was walking perpendicularly away from the road they drove in and Namjoon instantly commanded to halt the car.

With a brief second of silence, Namjoon looked up at Kim's voice.

KIM : Are you okay?

NJ : Kim, you've also seen Seol Ah just now, didn't you?

KIM : . . .

_____

Was it just an illusion?

.

A few hours ended up to the next morning, lol.
I am so sorry for the delay.

And get ready for the last ride(chapter) this Saturday.
T=T