SEOL AH : No, no NO! (-yells-) How hard is it to understand?! (-tears form-)

He wholeheartedly empathized with her but hated to see her scared and weak, unlike the confident and tough Seol Ah he had known. Thereby, dropped his sweet words, no more caring about her tears.

NJ : Do you know? It is because of people like you that don't charge against these balands. They just feed on your cowardice and do whatever the hell they want to, barefaced!

She gulped her tears instantly though feeling a pressured urge to release the knot inside.

SEOL AH : (-cracking voice-) Alrig-ht, what-.. (-calmly-) What did he do exactly?

Namjoon fell silent.

Quiet tears, inevitably, snaked down her cheeks. However, she sternly maintained a steady mien, not breaking down.

SEOL AH : What did he do to me?

It was as if words froze in his mouth, unable to push out. He stared into her wet eyes, heart sinking to be the reason of the dampness.

SEOL AH : Did you personally hear me say anything? Or did he viral a video tape that you happened to see?

NJ : (-in a softer tone-) Seol Ah~

SEOL AH : Yes or No?

NJ : (-defeatedly-) No.

SEOL AH : So please, let me be in peace. (-sits herself on the couch-) Let it just be as it is.

Hating to show her vulnerability and unable to restrict the river of tears, she palmed her eyes, resting the elbows on her lap‐ silently weeping.

Namjoon, with an old wound burned up afresh, dejectedly walked towards her. Lying his black coat beside her on the couch, he sat himself on the centering table facing Seol Ah. Very calmly, he then started with a glum tone.

NJ : You remember, you'd once asked me about Chae Ri? It wasn't because I didn't want to answer you. But, because I had nothing to say then, that I called it off. 

Seol Ah gathered herself as she tried to dial down her tears to listen to him carefully. On the topic, he rarely opens up. It also seemed to her, a good deviation from the hurt then.

NJ : One year, I resented her for leaving over a selfish goal only to learn that it was no one but that filthy man behind it. I had said some things that he happened to foully record. He used that against me. And then she just- she left, believing him.

A wistful tear bubbled up his guts as he held himself tight, trying to force it back in and remained quiet.

SEOL AH : (-sniffles-) I wouldn't leave just on that.

NJ : Huh?

SEOL AH : I heard that too. Your audio clip.

NJ : You did? He used that again?

SEOL AH : (-nods-) It is the last thing I remember from yesternight. And although I strongly didn't want to, yet I trusted you. I had a belief, you would never do such a thing to me or anyone for that matter. Besides, it wasn't a clear statement to judge easily. (-looks at him-) Your real intensions.

Unlike other times, it was not a domain where Namjoon would let Seol Ah free him off the blame and its heaviness.

NJ : But, it is all because of me that you had to suffer; you are in this situation today. Chae Ri had to go through that then. The root is, invariably, me.

SEOL AH : I don't know about Chae Ri-ssi. But, please don't drag me into this with your judgements. Nothing happened to me.

She was absolutely reluctant from accepting the fragments of last night. Or his words that were prompting her to what she called, "the obvious conclusion". 

Both remained quiet for a brief moment, having nothing to say. Until, Seol Ah was faintly recalled of the contract that Seong PD handed her last night ‐ one of the many fragments, her memories were at that point.

SEOL AH : Can you not just accept the contract, now that it's here at a cost?

They shared a moment of pure eye-contact. And he realized, even after adding such a ghastly night to her life, even after holding such indignation in those orbs, she was still only desiring to help him.

To her, may it be thought as a stubborn wish or a completely selfless fancy, she wanted to bring out the smile on his face that he once had. She was desiderated to find his gleam that was somewhere lost under the shades of his past, be she numbed from realizing it however.

Namjoon didn't further cast her away from the darkness—living inside him. And unlocked the door for her to enter, but was also careful not to scare her out.

NJ : (-calmly-) Seol Ah, I don't want any contract from any agency right now. Let alone from SK.

She lifted her eyes to match his, unable to form out a way to explain why he must have an agency. And, why she took such adverse steps to get the contract.

NJ : (-continues-) If I so desperately wanted an agency to have my back, I would've joined BigHit long ago. But I didn't. (-briefly after-) And it was only partially because of the reason I told you last time. I agree of being sentimental, but I live on practicality.

SEOL AH : (-sniffs lightly-) Plagiarism is hard to win against even if you're the beholder of the truth. "You need an Agency", all the lawyers emphasized the same quote.

The singer intently watched her speak. He resolved to address her regard with benevolent patience.

NJ : I know. I understand all your concerns. But with Chae Ri's incident and the controversy airing after, I realized Seong PD is not going to be any easy on me. I rejected him— the biggest wound to his pride.

In the world that is in edge to edge with science, it is hard to believe in words than witnessing the action of them personally. It is hard to accept the invisible. So it happened with her.
Seol Ah's judgments of Seong PD were shortcoming. She couldn't see through the several warnings, Namjoon constantly repeated, against him.

NJ : The other reason, I refrained from going to BigHit was, to keep them safe. Right now, BigHit and SK are top competitors in the industry. I don't want to turn that healthy competition into rivalry.

Every word slowly started to sound more sensible and reasonable, which must have been pronounced to her before.

NJ : The controversy sure disabled me to join other agencies, I wouldn't want to endanger anyone because of me either. Yet, I have already pushed my managers into the hell hole inevitably.

Seol Ah realized the difference in their judgments. Her acumen and perspicacity, that she took pride in, dragged her down to the very flat ground reality— breaking a few ribs of wit and prudence.

SEOL AH : I am sorry~ I made it even harder for you. (-avoids eyes-)

NJ : I should be the one saying that. All I need is your aid right now. Until and unless I cut SK out of my life, things are not gonna change. He will find new ways to come on me time to time and I don't want to risk anymore lives.

SEOL AH : H-how can I possibly help you?

NJ : I know it must be difficult for you and I am to completely understand. (-after a silence-) I only need you to walk me through the events of last night, after you reached SK entertainment. If not to me, I will have the person you're most comfortable with. Just name them.

Seol Ah's breath hitched as she avoided his eyes again and tried to suppress the bottle of emotions from blasting out. All she did was to innocently take the complimentary drink, the bartender offered her last night.
Not to realize, it was intoxicated with a certain medication that made her feel tired, drowsy and unable to fight back because of its relaxant effects on the body.

SEOL AH : I don't know how to do that. (-freaks out-) I know nothing. I remember nothing! Nothing AT ALL!

She ineluctably burst into a sob, recalling the marks she was utterly appalled and grossed out to look at, on her skin this morning. The paleness of her tone made the reddish-purple bruising spots on her neck, further more distinct. It brought pure disgust to her heart that she ardently wanted to scrape off her skin.

The next thing Namjoon registered himself doing was gently pulling her into a hug, already sitting right beside her on the couch. Resting her head against his chest, he gave it a few tender strokes.
Her palms unconsciously gripped on his shirt as she tried to minimize her cries but failed anyway.
Spiritualism of the scene‐the souls embraced each other, ceasing the brains to process any information against their very unusual and impermissible actions.

NJ : (-softly-) I am sorry. I am sorry Seol-ah~ You don't have to remember anything. (-caresses her-)

He didn't attempt to stop her tears as he soothed her head to comfort and alleviate her hurt—even if to the minimalist of everything she was scarred to.

NJ : I am sorry~

.

.

Minutes slip by~

.

.

Clock ticking the late night hours was prominently causing her disquiet, as Seol Ah restlessly walked around the hall. In wait, in patent worry.
For the one, who just plainly left few hours past and hasn't made any update of his whereabouts since.

A sharp ring of the door bell alarmed her towards it.
Only to welcome a hammered Namjoon, reeking of alcohol and loose legged ‐being shoulder supported by Kim.

Seol Ah was befuddled to see him in that mullered condition and completely out of any strength.

SEOL AH : To his room!

Kim slightly nodded in agreement as he struggled to walk him in. Seol Ah instantly wound to help Kim from the other side.

With a little effort, they entered his room and aimed straight for the bed.

SEOL AH : (-gently laying him down-) Careful.

Namjoon, making some cranky movements almost freezed both sober ones for a while, before he was steady once again. They sighed in sync and looked at each other.

SEOL AH : (-whispers-) Let's head outside.

KIM : Onh. (-leads her way-)

Quietly closing the door behind her, Seol Ah and Kim walked to the hall casually.

SEOL AH : How come he drank so much?

KIM : He rarely drinks but when he does, he is quite rough on it.

SEOL AH : Weren't you allowed to stop him?

KIM : Imm...He insisted to leave alone earlier. The pub manager, then called me to the address where I found him in that form.

.

.

.

Of course, not a habitual drinker, the liquid churned Namjoon's throat down his food canal. Yet, it compared nothing to the burn he was in.

Each tear that Seol Ah shed on his arms, had been recorded in his system like a tape, that had no voluntary action to be played.

They constantly tormented his soul, sounding resentful towards him.
To his fault, of not making Seol Ah completely aware of the wild she forced herself into.

If only he had answered all her questions, if only he had knowledged her of its viciousness. Maybe she would've been stopped from walking into the snake's den deliberately.

He had been liberal about reasoning out her queries to their best interests. Yet for the cruicial ones to be turned down.

He might - as well - have never given her the space to be curious, he descended. Maybe then, he wouldn't have felt such sheer blaim towards himself that was now drowning him down the sea of remorse.

Thereby, he was poured down to unconsciousness or might be thought as a state of seizure from reality.

.

.

.

Closing the door after Kim left, a sudden dizziness gridled Seol Ah as she climbed the step near the shoe rack.

An uninvited antiperistalsis of her guts, sped her legs towards the kitchen sink‐ the nearest dump.

The pressure of the reverses were extremely forced, increasing her breath rate. It gradually caused a reoccurring pain in her stomach muscles, applying that pressure with every batch of hurl. Light coughs followed by, with fine strings of saliva connecting her wet lips to the sink.

Eyes soaked wet, body held weak, hands gripped on the open tap‐ as she tried to overcome the affects of the recent throw up. The second time since morning, that was previously sucking out on her energy, the entire day.

Retaining a little strength, she splashed some water to her face and got a nice grip of herself. Adamantly denying the constant snaps and conclusions, that her brain was reporting to her ever since.

A glass of water in the hall, helped calm her down. A little relaxed now, her eyes slowly travelled to Namjoon's room.

Wanting to check on him once, before going to bed- she, with quiet steps, marched to his room.

He was not moved an inch from the time they left him there. As if he lied there, lifeless.

Stepping in, she softly called him out to get him freshen up or at the least, lift his legs to the bed.

There was no response apart from his calmly rising and dropping trunk, synchronized with the rhythms of inhale and exhale.

She didn't further try to disturb his peaceful sleep as she directly aimed for his shoes. Undoing them with quite some efforts that wouldn't have been so, if the gag didn't choke out her strength a while ago.

Just making him straight on the bed, felt no less laborious and breath puffing.
She almost dropped herself on the floor, leaning to the bed as she was still a little nauseous and weak.

Namjoon, with the movements, was half awake although still under high influence of the liquors.
Cranky in his tone, he shifted to his right, facing Seol Ah's side, eyes precisely shut as if were glued close.

NJ : (-raw raspy voice-) I am sorry~

His words alarmed her ears as she snapped at him quietly. Trying to divert herself from the nausea and paying more attention to him, she dragged herself towards the header of the bed.

A small tear drooled down the bridge of his nose, very vivid to her. She forwarded her hand for it to gently land on her index finger.

A perfectly semi-circled droplet arced on the surface of her finger. It was beautiful how delicately it shone and fascinating it appeared to her.

Namjoon sniffled and suddenly caught her hand, making her gasp in startle. But, she remained quiet right after. His eyes were still closed, prevented from opening them to the reality.

NJ : Chae Ri-ah..

A name that could stab, she knew of one at that moment. Confusion, mayhem, loud beats were suddenly feeling foreign to her, something that has never been experienced before.

NJ : (-firming his hold-) I couldn't save you~

She had a slight change of heart with his words next, since now she was aware of the depth it held in Chae Ri's context.

All her questions had potential answers now. But, was it to a good prospect, she wondered while staring at him, so full with a forbidden desire. A desire, to softly caress his pain away and assure him that everything was fine.

NJ : (-sniffs-) Seol-ie~

An address that could melt one's heart, she knew of one in that instant. All her fluster untangled, chaos blended in and rapid impulses dialed down.

She was calm.

His lids slowly opened, viewing her the immediate moment of his retina forming an image.

It was never before, that she had seen such despair in his eyes. And never before that she had looked into his grim filled orbs that close.

Another droplet from his left eye paved the same path on his nose bridge. Her curious gaze followed it in such keen fascination as if it held, enough potential to be throned the eighth wonders of the world.

Concurrently, each glimpse of Seol Ah, made him even more culpable and blameworthy towards her. Her intricate attributes were clearly visible to Namjoon with the occasional dizz.

An illusion, he explained himself. The same ones, he used to have of Chae Ri, a year ago when drunk.

If it was that peaceful and tranquilizing to look at, he wanted to cherish every little illusion his brain played him.
However, he felt sorry to even dare to match eyes with her‐as if an act of repentance.

NJ : I am s-... sorry, Seol-ah~

Her eyes climbed back to his red moistened ones. His heavy broken voice, hardly forming clear and distinct words.

NJ : Phlease~... (-sniffs-)

"Please don't leave me." He said inaudibly under his breath, hoping it reached Seol Ah.  Hoping the magic of telepathy connected their thoughts.

Hoping she never leaves him like Chae Ri did.

~Intermission

😬 Hope you liked it.