Namjoon's POV

No thoughts could be lined up straight. They were in a complete mayhem as I plunged on the accelerator, speeding up on my way. Trepidation got the best of me.

They say faith brings hope. I never completely sided the former. But in most of the dreadful situations, the unknown fear makes one believe even in the unrealistic magic, only for the peace of mind.

What was it for me? What was my peace of mind?— I would ask myself everyday and move on quietly with no answers till the next dawn.

In consternation and absence of mind, I slammed on the anchors- witnessing the mass babel and bedlam in the right turned road, that I was stopped from taking.

Getting off with a thumping heart, I attempted to walk forward but foreboding my fear, I hesitated. The pandemonium of the crowd gave out an accident visage, which I was scared to knowledge myself about. Hence, I rooted there holding tight on my cowardice.

Even the slightest disturbance had the potential to distract me from the chaos. Thereby, the sound of someone, taking off her heels at the signal on my left, caught my attention.

The moment I recognized the messy black haired drunk lady seated with the signal's support, I did not waste a second to run towards her. My heart beat in relief to my fear proven wrong.

I kneeled to her in concern, trying to gather her up in the deserted street- caused by the accident on the other near by.

ME : What the hell are you doing here on the road?! And why the heck is your phone switched off?! I was so-...

[...worried...]

??? : (-smiles woozily-) I got it.

ME : What?! What are you talking about? And why did you drink so much?

??? : My bag~

She leaned her head to the signal pole sleepily with her words trailing off.

In complete confusion, I unzipped her sling bag to see what she was referring to. Only to find a contract from the SK entertainment.

After learning the truth about the filthy jerk, the PD was, I never wanted to sign them.

ME : Hey, didn't I tell you not to go to him ever again?! Why do you always have to do the things I forbid you to? Look at me!

I tried to turn her head towards me.

Even in the night hours, my eyes rightly caught on the scars around her neck.
I took a closer notice at her, and listed the obvious marks that the PD left on her.

Her frizz free hair, frizzled and messed as if got during a struggle. The one piece clothing- that I had never seen her wearing- in disproportion, having torn stitches here and there. The right pair of her nude stockings balled up in her fist while the other worn on her left leg.
Impressions of assault trailed down on her bare skin, still sensitive to any touch and emerged a few occasional twitches.

Her haggard state palpitated my inside even at the visualization of the scene, that might have transpired in cost of the contract.

I was so edged with vexation and rage that it would've led to self destruction, if she wasn't there next to me. With her mere presence, she melted the very frozen heart of mine as I immediately pulled her into a hug. Securing my arms around her, I caressed her head that was rested against my throbbing heart. My verbs came out in tremors.

ME : I am sorry. I am so sor-rry.

From the little muffled ones, her cries grew profound into a sob. As if she had been yearning for the warmth, she might have received in my embrace.

Heedful not to catch any attention, I quickly ruled out to leave the street as soon as possible. Thus, covering her with the black leather jacket that carelessly fell down from her shoulders, I tried to bolden her up.

ME : C'mon. Let's go home.

She instantly cranked up while I was giving her an arm to stand her on feet.

??? : Don't touch me! (-in a soft voice-) I don't want you get my filth on your hands...

Her feebly pushing me away slowly cracked my heart and I simply wiped her tears with gentle strokes.

ME : You will never be filthy to me.

Feeling her sucked out on energy, I picked her up flat instead of walking her on foot. Not quite helping the situation, she whined and struggled to get out of my grip.

However, I firmed my hold and helped her to the front seat of my car. Closing the door, I walked back to fetch her belongings from the street, before getting to drive our way out.

On the way back, which was only a few minutes ride-she was already drunk asleep which was a good thing, I thought.

In the next scene I remember, after carefully laying her on the bed, I pulled the blankets up on her figure.

Not realizing when I sat beside her along the bed, I found myself sadly gazing at her.

ME : (-in a low voice-) Why did you go there, huh? Why did you have to-...

I exited the sight sharply after, to bring her some aids and also spare myself a second to order the chaos inside my head.

She was peacefully sleeping in comfort, as I lightly dabbed the sweat off her face with a wet towel.
And later, aided her fresh bruises on the arms and legs.
It burned me to imagine how hard of a whip, it had been to cause such prominent and defined purple marks on her skin.
The tear imprints, on her restful face, screamed to me how terrified she must have been- pushing me further into the quagmire of guilt.

ME : Hating you was the best I could do for you. (-in tears-) I am sorry that I couldn't save you. I am sorry~

I repeated the same mistake twice. Invariably, I couldn't save my person. Once again.

Resentment engulfing me, I got up to leave when I heard her sleepy voice. Immediately turning back, I paid attention if she wanted to say something.

ME : Onh, do you need anything?

She softly grasped on my hand as I noticed a drop of tear escape her red eyes from the corner.

??? : Don't leave me alone. Please...

Her soft voice held me in and ached my heart even more, as I held her hand back and sat beside her. With a heavy heart, I brought my other hand to wipe her tears gently.

ME : I am not going anywhere.

Involuntarily, I leaned in and pecked her forehead softly. My palms caressed her cheeks later with my face having a sad smile.

Why?
I wondered in a slight fluster myself, to my sudden and unhelped intimate move.

ME : Go to sleep. I promise, you'll find me right here when you wake up next.

She closed her eyes, feeling assured. And gradually her grip on my hand loosened as she drifted back to sleep. In the next moment, resting her hand on her tummy, I freed myself and brought a chair next to her bed- to spend the night on.

Staring at her innocent sleeping face, I got reminded of the first day I met her.

Clumsy yet confident, she was.

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The second day of hiring my "new manager", a need that was previously fulfilled, considering the words quoted. I just found it convenient to have a new one every three months which was, most importantly, non-monotonous.

Exceptions maybe a few, others were pretty decent at their job, yet I fired them before I got used to their presence. Withdrawal symptoms seem to take quite a heavy toll on me. Could be thought as the core reason, which I would always try avoid thinking about-the stubborn thought kept rewinding anyways.

The heaviest one that I was still affecting from, was the time when I was known as RM.
Relations with other members and BigHit family were pretty well off, even after two years of our disbandment. Yet, it lacked the old purism and lustre; it grew ostentatious.

I was snapped back from the pool of nonchalant thoughts by a loud thud on my door. It was loud enough for the door to break off from its socket. But, maybe not strong enough. The door endured it well.

My heart almost reached my throat. But, I contained myself in the revolving chair I was rested on, facing my back to the door. A usual need, so that anyone coming in, wouldn't know it is the former BTS's leader-RM, for whom they are here to have the interview.

ME : I have enough bodyguards currently. You might have come to the wrong interview.

??? : Uh-... Yes. I apologize. (-sounding awkward-) The door wouldn't open so I had to force it a little.

Although not entirely, I was pretty impressed to know the smart pants was spot on with my sarcasm. A smile landed on my lips but soon took off, as I decided to quiz her further.

Evidently nervous yet in a bold tone, she introduced herself before I could say anything.

??? : Myself Kim Seol Ah. I am here for Mr.Black's management interview.

___________

Mr. Black? 😬

No. Not your typical 'Ceo-Manager' clichè.