Am I growing for the better, or for the worse?

Is it good for my already affected sanity to start seeing that the people I thought I meant something for don't actually feel that way?
Is it really beneficial to mecp that I am starting to realise that I am just a last choice for everyone I know?

Is growing up going to help solving my problems or just make my anxiety grow bigger and stronger?

Is growing up going to help me voice out my opinions and disagreements with the world or is it just going to make me into a powerless human being in the spotlight, just waiting for someone to pounce on me and tear me into meaningless and broken shreds?

Am I strong enough to contain my upcoming emotions?

Am I strong enough to survive what's waiting for me in the future?

Am I?
Are you?
Is growing up helping me or destroying me?