Trigger warnings - homophobia, religion

Note - when I say 'gay' in this chapter I'm also referencing, bi, pan, poly, omni people, anyone who has attraction towards the same gender as themselves. This chapter is specifically about my experience as a pan Christian, but my experiences are in no way exclusive to one orientation or religion.

Can I just go a week without hearing that being gay is a sin??

Please??

Christians talk about 'homosexuality' and 'same sex attraction' as if there's no possible way that gay Christians exist. They refer to gays as some sort of distant group who are 100% guaranteed not to be in the church building.

About a third of the population identify as a part of the Christian religion, and about 1 in 10 people identify as gay. Being gay and Christian are not incompatible. It's possible.

Recently in the local paper there was an article about a minister that stood up for gay people. I thought, 'great, at least the world isn't hopeless'. The article was one of those 'letters to the editor' things, and the person writing was very angry with the minister. They used the phrase 'abomination in the eyes of God.' You read that correctly.

My mental health is on the rise again, but I still have my low moments quite often. As I'm closeted to 99% of the people I know, a lot of this sadness recently has been related to this very issue. In the most recent low moment, aka last week, the phrase kept rattling around in my head. Abomination in the eyes of God. Abomination in the eyes of God.

This could not be more wrong. I am loved by God, but sadly a lot of my Christian friends don't agree with this. God's whole thing is loving people no matter what, and people who say otherwise are missing the entire point of the Christian religion. It's amazing the things people say when they don't know that the people their words hurt are standing right next to them.

Our new unit for RE is human rights. My table consists of one of my homophobic Christian friends, another Christian girl, and three other girls who I have no idea where they stand on the issue. If homosexuality comes up, I'm trapped. If I say nothing, my friend will become suspicious. If I stand up for the community, my friend will also be suspicious, as why would I, a Christian person, stand up for them? (I know that Christian allys exist, but that's not my point).

I don't have anyone to share experiences with. Yes, my LGBTQ friends are amazing, but none of them are religious. I can share most things with them, but not the double slap on the face that is being a gay Christian. The problems we face largely overlap, but not completely. If I can find 1 same-sex attracted Christian, whether online or in the real world, I won't feel so alone.

I'm sorry this chapter was very heavy. This has been bottled up a long time, and I needed to spill before I broke down. I'm fully aware I'm not alone in this, but I've never met anybody who's religious and LGBTQ.

The next few chapters will be more light-hearted gay stuff, as I only realised yesterday that I can put literally whatever I want in this book.

Bye :)