Today, Friday 14th June 2019, I did the bravest, scariest, most important thing I have ever done.

I came out to my friends.

My name is Robyn, and I am a demi-heteroromantic ace. I'm romantically attracted to the opposite gender, but only after an emotional connection has formed. Because of this, I don't have celebrity crushes. I don't experience sexual attraction towards anyone, and that's OK. I'm not broken. I'm powerful, strong and valid.

......................................................................

23/06/19

Bane-Of-Olympus Angel-Yusa Night-Eye Glacier Baker Directioner12493 PrincessGlacierFreya hottiesoftie (tag any other camp 11 members I've missed).

(I know this is long but please take time to read it. Even if you disagree with the LGBTQ+ community, I don't want a debate. I'm just explaining.)

Hi.

So this is why I had to drop out of camp. I came out to my friends. Although I'm so much better now, I went through several days of feeling alienated. At school, my religious friends were treating me slightly differently. They were too polite to say anything, but they were quieter around me. Looking at me differently. I'm religious as well, and this didn't feel good. I know that God still loves me no matter what I identify as. But it hurt.

My LGBTQ+ friends and ally friends were really supportive through my breakdowns. But I felt too 'straight' to hang out with them. It's really stupid, but it's true. I'm still heteroromantic, and even though I knew I was part of the LGBTQ+ community, I felt like I didn't deserve their support.

So there I was, relieved that I had come out but stressed and isolated in the aftermath. I couldn't talk to my parents, as they're religious and wouldn't have taken it well. I felt so, so alone, and the emotional pain was almost unbearable.

But after taking some time out, I felt so much better. One of my religious friends accepts me completely. Another one texted me later that day and asked me to explain some LGBTQ+ terms to her. Now that she's a bit more aware of things, I'm hoping she'll come round. Two other friends said they'll accept me, but that might take a while. I had calmed down and finally felt comfortable with myself, something I haven't felt for a long, long time.

But then, life threw a screwdriver into the works. Brilliant.

A few months ago I chose my GCSEs. I was happy with them. Double award science, Music, History, French and Digital technology. But a few weeks later, I was told that they might not work. Digital technology was causing problems.

Oh. That's a bit disappointing. But the teacher said she's going to try and fit me in again, so maybe it'll be fine.

It was not fine.

On Thursday I found out that my options were not going to work, and I had to repick them.

That's OK. My backup plans are either Computer Science or RE instead of Digital Technology.

Guess what? I couldn't do either of those subjects because of the option blocks.

In the simplest explanation possible, the option blocks existed to make creating the timetables easier. On the options form, they were literally 4 boxes, A to D, with different subjects in them. You had to pick one from each box, and then tick your science option.

OK then, Double Award Science, French out of Box A, History out of Box C, and Music out of Box D. Now just something out of Box B.

Box B had terrible subjects in them. Business Studies, DT, Geography and Spanish.

Well, I'm definetly not doing DT, and not Spanish because 2 languages is a terrible idea.

So now I was left with Business Studies and Geography. Instead of choosing subjects I liked, I had to decide which one I would hate less.

Guess how long I had to re-think my whole career plan? One evening. I had to hand the form in the next day.

Long story short, I chose Business Studies. It's a new subject, so maybe it'll be less boring than the presentation made it out to be?

That's why I've taken a hiatus and dropped out of Camp 11.

I'm so, so, so much better now. These past few weeks have definetly been one of my lowest points this year. But now, I'm confident, happy (we'll see how long that lasts 😂), feeling pretty good about my GCSE choices and I have my whole summer stretching in front of me. I'm back, better than ever. Watch out Wattpad world, here I come!