Did you even care? 

Did I care?

I think I did. But it's been a while now. I'm not sure. 

How long has it been? A year and a month, right? It's still so easy to keep track. I still have it, you know. I could easily come back. 

I don't want to, though. I don't want to go back there. 

Sometimes it's hard to tell if I really do mean this, or I'm making it all up. I think I'm making it up. 

Of course, I am. 

Nothing could ever be this real. 

—

What am I thinking? 

Do you know?

You used to know. You used to be able to read me like the pages of an open book, though we were so far away. 

Really. 

We weren't that far away, now that I look back. 

And I always tried to go back. I always tried to hold on... and now that I've let go?

Did I ever let go in the first place?

Did we ever start anything between us all?

I know that now you're still close as ever. I know that you guys made up, you became family once more. 

I tried reaching out, you know. Only one of you knows this. 

I love you. 

—

At least, I used to. 

I'm not so sure about now. 

It's getting so hard to remember, when was when? 

You've all found your own little worlds. Some of you have created them yourself, were there since the beginning. 

I used to be there, too. 

Do you remember it?

Do they remember me? 

I doubt it. It's been just about a year. 

I know it's changed. I know you've all changed. 

But have I?

I still have my own home. I still hold on to the beginning. 

Sometimes, it's hard not to let it slip away. Such a fragile grasp on something that barely breathes, barely matters anymore. 

It used to be so important to everyone. 

And you left. 

I'm not blaming you. I won't do that anymore. I won't paint myself as the victim any longer.

Well, it seems I've broken that promise. 

But. I won't keep doing this. Just... let me do this. One more time. One more life back in the memories, and I promise I won't keep looking back anymore. 

That promise has been broken far too many times to truly count. 

It's alright. We'll all be fine here. 

And, well. We always have been.

— 

Sometimes, things change. 

Sometimes, you have to change, too

Sometimes, you just can't. 

So sometimes, you have to push yourself. 

I'm done. 

Goodbye.

—

I'll see you all in another life, maybe. 

It all depends.