Quote 1.
My friend thinks he's smart, he said onions are the only food that make you cry.
So I threw a coconut at his face.

Quote 2.
My room is not messy; it is an obstacle course designed to keep me fit.
(I'm still not fit though.)

Quote 3.
Always borrow money from a pessimist.
He won't expect it back.

Quote 4.
Enjoy life!
There's plenty of time to be dead......

Quote 5.
Teacher:
"Why are you talking during my lesson?"
Student:
"Why are you teaching during my conversation?"

Well there ya go! Comment other things you want me to do.
Vote and comment because it was so much effort and strain on my fingers to type "funny quotes" into Google and tap images then, wait for it... SCROLL!!! :'(
The Duchess
Xxx.