I need to get some stuff off my chest

I'm transgender but I don't know if I'm no or pan, my friends are better at art than me, a bunch of people hate me now, I had to go with my dad somewhere today and I hate my life, I can't sleep in my own bed anymore because my moms in the hospital, my ptsd has been getting worse, I coughed up blood and I don't know why, I've had murderous thoughts recently, aand my brother is crying, great... My day is f*cking GREAT.

How's your day going? ^^