Midoriya [POV]

One day though after this endless cycle.  About a week had past and I had started to develop a habit I discovered there to be no one on the roof.  I paused in surprise, I hat gotten so used to this routine it was surprising to me.  Then I felt excited and scared at the same time, this was my time I could finally do it.  I sucked in a deep breath taking my shoes off at the railing.  I wanted to get it over with right away but as soon as I looked down at the pavement I was overcome with fear and nausea but at the same time I was excited.  I sat on the railing gripping it so hard my knuckles turned white.  I wanted to get it over with but there was something that was stopping me, something that prevented me from moving

Todoroki [POV]

I sat on the couch looking a the clock, 6:30 P.M.  I glanced down the hallway towards Midoriya's dorm room.  Everyday he would go up to the roof of the school at the same time without fail

"Hey...., Todoroki um..., Do you know where Midoriya is?" Uraraka asked coming down the hallway from Midoriya's room

"He would be on the roof like he's been doing everyday for the past few weeks" I responded not thinking any of it

"Oh god" she mumbled

"What's wrong?" I asked noticing her distress

"I found this note in Midoriya's room on his desk" she held up a piece of paper her hands shaking.  I stood up and took the note from her

Dear Everyone,
I know that things have been well, the Villains have not attacked in a long time and I've been working hard on my studies and with my quirk.  I've worked hard so far just to get here and I know how much I've been blessed in my life.  Though I still can't shake the sadness and uselessness that I feel everyday before I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning.  I try to ignore it with sweets and pretend to be happy.  I want to be a hero but the pressure is too much.  I have to work hard I have to do everything correctly I have to be perfect because otherwise everyone else will get hurt.  I want to be able to save everyone.  I want to be someone that kids look up to like how I looked up to All Might.  When he found me and thought me worthy I felt like everything I had dreamed of had come true.  But now, everything has just gotten worse as it gets 'Better'.  It's like the two sides of the same coin that Villains and Heroes rest on.  I never would want to be a villain and I would never dream of it in a million years but, being a hero has so many pressures that I don't know how to handle.  Everything that I'm expected to do is too overwhelming and I feel trapped.  U.A. my dream school has too high of expectations for me.  All Might, Aizawa and all the other teachers have hope for me and expect me to rise up but I cant.  I do still want to be a hero but I think it's time.  I'm afraid of heights they scare me to death.  Heroes aren't supposed to have fears so I'm going to face that fear.  I'm going to end it all.  I hope no one dwells too much on me I'm just doing what I feel is right.  I have to face my fear.  My fear of heights and, my fear of death.  I have to face my fears to become a hero and maybe doing this will also end the pain.  I'm sorry I love you all and thank you for such a wonderful year but I have to say goodbye
-Izuku Midoriya

Suddenly all the pieces clicked.  Midoriya wasn't going up to the roof meeting people that were about to jump on purpose it was entirely coincidental, he was going up there everyday waiting for no one to be there so that he could jump himself.  He was afraid of heights this whole time and no one even noticed.  I dropped the paper

"We've got to get to the roof" I muttered

"Mhm" Uraraka nodded and we goth ran out of the dorms and if anyone from class asked what was going on one of us just shouted "It's Midoriya" And continued running

Midoriya [POV]

My chest rose and fell rapidly with each breath tears falling down my face.  This was what I wanted this whole time, I want to die.  I want this.  This is what I want.  Why was I so scared?  I looked down at the ground feeling like I was about to throw up.  I was so pathetic what kind of hero would I have been being so terrified of heights.  I gripped the railing harder with my left hand and let go with my right reaching in my pocket.  I unwrapped a small sweet putting it in my mouth my hand shaking.  I just wanted to get rid of all my problems.  I want to forget everything and just stop existing.  I gripped the railing again and the candy wrapper fluttered down to the roof next to my shoes.  I had taken off  my school uniform jacket and neatly folded it on the floor.  I was startled as the door to the roof burst open

"Midoriya" Todoroki shouted gasping for breath "You can't do this" There were more footsteps coming from downstairs and before I knew it there was a group of people there on the roof.  I couldn't turn around to look, I was paralyzed with fear.  But I could hear their voices and I knew who they were, Todoroki, Uraraka, Momo, Tsuyu, Iida, Kirishima, Bakugo and even Aizawa was there I knew his voice well.  No one moved though no one approached that much I knew.  They were scared too

"Midoriya why didn't you tell anyone?" Uraraka asked softly

"I couldn't" I muttered staring straight ahead not wanting to look down

"You convinced us not to jump yet here you are in the same situation we were" Kirishima exclaimed

"I could understand everyone else's problems I could understand that they could be fixed I don't understand what I'm feeling though" I cried out

"Midoriya please we can talk about this just get down from the railing" Aizawa instructed

"No, I'm not going anywhere" I stated firmly

"What do you think this will accomplish Midoriya?  What do you think jumping will do?  Take the pain away?  Let you forget everything?  Get rid of your problems?  Fix them the easy way?  Escape?" Todoroki asked

"I can't do it I know I can't become a hero I can't handle the pressure" I sobbed

"Deku your entire life you struggled and you wanted to become a hero just like All Might even though I was crap to you and continued working and now you crack in high school at U.A. this was the school of your dreams, yeah it may be harder than anything else but you've gotten through your problems with that annoying perseverance of yours and lots and lots of hard work, are you just going to let that all go to waste?" Kacchan shouted

"What do you care Kacchan?  Of all people you saying something like that is just salt in the wound, Isn't this what you've wanted our entire childhood.  You told me to jump, you urged me towards it and I resisted because I truly believed that if I worked hard enough to become a hero I would be able to but, you don't really care it's all fake you're happy I bed you'd love to see my die then I wouldn't be in your way anymore" I shouted bacl

"I know I was mean to you as kids but this isn't what I wanted and this can't be what you really want" he asked, I mustered up the courage to turn around.  Bakugo had tears in his eyes and so did almost everyone else

"Of course this is what I want" I exclaimed

"Yet you haven't done anything you haven't moved from that spot" Tsuyu pointed out her voice shaking

"Is it really what you want Midoriya?" Iida asked

"You're scared Deku you're scared of heights?" Uraraka asked

"What?" A few people mumbled

"What do you want me to say to that?  Do you want me to deny that?  Yes I'm scared of heights they terrify me to death" I admitted angrily

"This whole time and you didn't let it slip once though we've been up so high so many times?" Kirishima exclaimed

"It was hard it's hard for me to do those things, some hero I am" I laughed

"Being a hero isn't about being fearless Midoriya it's about acting even though your scared" Aizawa chimed in desperately

"Like I haven't heard that millions of times" I sighed

"Midoriya what do you want this to accomplish?" Todoroki asked again "You want to get rid of the pain but by jumping you just hurt everyone else"

"I just want it to end" I muttered

"You want to escape from it all you want to easy way out" He started "But isn't that the same thing a villain would do?"

"Todoroki" Iida exclaimed rushing over to the front of the group Todoroki held out his arm to stop him his eyes flaming with anger

"You want to take the easy route and in return you hurt everyone else, you want to be a hero but right now you're following in the same footsteps as a villain" he shouted "Some hero you are is right, you, right now you're worse than a villain everyone here is in pain because of you and you want to jump to make the pain worse" he took a step closer smoke starting to float up towards the sky from his body 

"Todoroki that is enough" Aizawa started

"You want to save people, you want to save everyone though you can't save anyone here by what you're doing, you can't even save yourself "The smoke got thicker "You'll only become more and more like a villain as you sit there on the edge"

"Todoroki" Kirishima called as he took another step closer, I could smell the smoke from here

"You're a natural born hero you save people without a single thought and you wont hesitate to butt into their personal lives to save them, Midoriya you saved me you butted into my life without me asking you to and I am forever grateful for that, when there's danger you're always the first to act even if it will get you in trouble and you want to throw all that progress away?" A spark ignited and a small flame burned around his neck "I envied you, how you could move without thinking about it despite your fear and how you got by so well even though you got hurt, you didn't care"

"I think that's enough from you Shoto" Aizawa took a step forward as well

"Midoriya you're going to go and throw everything away, all that progress you've made as a hero to do something that a villain would do" he shouted as Aizawa put his hand on his shoulder but quickly recoiled the palm of his hand red but not burnt

"Todoroki stop, you're acting like your father" Momo shouted knowing exactly how that would affect him.  I realized Todoroki wasn't mad at me but he was desperate, angry at something else, his father probably.  Todoroki fell to his knees burying his face in his hand.  The fire went out but he was still smoking as he cried on the ground

"Please Midoriya" he begged

"You saved all of us Midoriya let us save you" Kirishima begged stepping forward next to Todoroki his arm outstretched.  I was speechless my heart pounding in my chest.  Todoroki was right, this was selfish of me after I told everyone their problems could been fixed.  If theirs could be fixed that meant that so could mine.

"I'm sorry" I apologized gripping onto the railing, I wanted to get down now but I still couldn't move

"Please don't jump Deku" Uraraka begged

"No I wont......, not anymore" I looked down which was a mistake as my fear grew "I..., I just.....,"

"Heights?" Bakugo asked which took me by surprise.  I slowly nodded

"Close your eyes" he instructed

"What?" I exclaimed

"No one here will let you fall or jump but close your eyes trust me" he begged

"I...,"

"Don't say that you can't you've been brave before when you have to save someone else but saving yourself is just as important" He insisted

"Wow Bakugo really does have a heart" Tsuyu muttered

"Shut it frog" He shoute

"Kacchan I don't....," I started to look back down

"Don't look down stupid" He shouted, I looked back at him.  He held out his hand to me confidently.  I had to force myself to reach out and grab his hand

"I won't let you fall" He took my other hand as well as I slowly stepped off the railing onto the roof.  As soon as my other foot hit the ground I immediately collapsed to my knees my legs not being able to support me anymore.

"Deku you should have told someone about your fear of heights at least you should have told floaty girl or icy hot" he knelt down in front of me "You've got to tell people these things so they know how to save you"

"I couldn't tell anyone I had to keep it a secret" I cried out, Bakugo smacked me on top of the head

"Of course you could have told someone we're all friends here aren't we?" He asked

"yeah.....," I nodded

"Don't do something so dangerous again" he scolded leaning back letting out a sigh "We were all scared Deku" he leaned back in whispering in my ear "You really scared Icy Hot half to death he depends on you Deku I guess to him you're like his All Might" I nodded knowingly because in the back of my mind I sort of knew about how much he really looked up to me.  I slowly stood up walking over to Todoroki my entire body trembling

"Did something happen?" I asked sitting down in front of him "Was it your father that made you so angry?"

"I couldn't bear to lose you and I acted like my father I treated you like how he treats me I'm so sorry I'll never forgive myself for that" He explained, so this breakdown was partly because Momo called him his father she pushed him over the edge with what she said

"Don't be sorry it was a horrible position" I put my hand over his right hand, it was hot

"After telling all of us that our problems could be fixed you went and did the same thing" he insisted

"I guess I understand now how you can't realize the stupidity of your own problems until someone shows you" I laughed nervously

"I'm so so sorry Midoriya" he apologized

"Don't be"

"I called you a villain" 

"It's okay I needed that" I smiled softly at him

"Okay everyone this has been an eventful experience but let's get everyone back to their dorms it's getting late and I want you all to go to sleep, Midoriya, Todoroki and Bakugo we'll talk tomorrow but right now I'm tired so everyone get back to their dorms" Aizawa announced, Todoroki stood up his face red and blotchy from crying

"What time is it?" I asked concerned

"It's around 8:15 right now" Iida responded and immediately the color drained from Todoroki's face

"What's wrong?" I asked raising one eyebrow

(A.N. so sorry really really long chapter compared to all the other ones)