When they got to Michael's house, Devin was greeted by Michael's mom, Bella. She held her arms open, giving Devin a genuinely warm hug. He felt safe in her arms, and although he was much taller, she made him feel so small, and so loved.

She knew from the distraught look on their faces that something was wrong, and probed about it asked: "Are you boys alright?" But before they could respond two sets of feet came running forward, in a loud, happy suit.

"Michael!" Two voices called in usion, loud, excited, absolutely thrilled. Michael looked over to see the brightly smiling faces of his two younger brothers. (Two of the four, younger brothers). He couldn't help but break out into a smile of his own. his eyes crinkled at the sides, and his lips gave way to show his shining teeth. He held his arms open to the boys.

Xander and Ren ran forwards, hugging Michael. They were pretty close to the same height as him, and looked very similar.

The resemblance was quite easily noticed in the faces of the two younger twins, although they weren't identical. But Xander had bright, crystal blue eyes that he had taken after his father. Michael's eyes were a deep emerald green that he shared with his mother. Xavier's hair was also a lot wavyer than Michael's was, although both had it grown out. Ren, on the other hand, looked the most like Michael out of everyone there.

His deep brown eyes, and almost spiky, always messy hair. He was also more muscular than Xander was.
But both their face shapes were a median of sharp and soft, their noses were both sharp—with the tiniest bump that Michael was always self conscious of—, eyes, slightly downturned, and heights were relatively similar.

"Hey guys!" Michael said, lightening up his voice for the two boys. He didn't want to drag down the mood of the whole house, because he knew it was a good one.

It was amazing how much Michael loved and wanted to protect them, and Devin. With his father having left, he took over the role at such a young, developmental point in his life. But, he never would show his feelings publicly. He just made sure that each person he cared about knew it, by the little things. He always made sure he had enough time for each of the people in his life.

It was only a couple of seconds later before a tall boy (taller than both Michael and Devin) came walking through the kitchen door.

Devin perked up at this boy, having the best relationship with him out of all of Michael's brothers.
The twins let go of Michael, letting Clement walk over to him. Clement held his posture high, and his face straight, but that expression faulted from one that always showed apathy, to one showing a lack of, immediately after seeing Michael and Devin.

Ren and Xavier both went in different directions around the counter to stand with their mother on the other side, giving their time with Michael to Clement.
"Clement!" Devin smiled. "My god, you've grown so tall!"

It had been quite a while since Devin had been over to see any of Michael's family. Devin really hated the absence of all of them.

"Stop. You sound like our great aunt," Clement whined, walking over to his older brother and Devin. He rolled his eyes, but graciously accepted the hug.
He stood an inch taller than Devin, about an inch and three quarters taller than Michael. He wore glasses, and had short cut, deep brown hair, styled back in a side part.

Devin laughed at this comment. Clement reminded him of the kid that Klaus used to talk about, who was on the team. Andrei, was it? He just remembered that Klaus compared how apathetic the both were to everything except one or two special people.

Clement hugged his brother. Michael and him had always been the closest. Michael patted his brothers back, releasing his hug, before ruffling his hair, only resulting in a slightly more pissed version of the same person.

"Woah," Michael said, laughing slightly as he hugged Clement back, pulling him in again.

"Hmm?"

"You just never hug me, this is new!" Michael said, pulling away from the short-lived hug. He loathed how there were two people in the room who stood taller than him. He jabbed his elbow into his brother's side.

Clement grimaced, although showing a playful smile, rubbing his side. "I mean, you haven't been home in two weeks, really, so I guess, I kind of, not really missed you,"

Michael laughed again, smiling at his brother. He missed him.

Clement leaned on the counter top, looking at Devin. His face pinched with worry, seeing the distraught look under the smile. it was in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asked. Devin had tried his hardest to put up a strong front, and to ignore his very clear feelings. And he hated how the people he didn't want to notice, noticed.

"Oh... nothing, it's... nothing," Devin said, giving his humorless laugh again. He shrugged his shoulders, and tried to keep his emotions copacetic. He didn't want to talk about it. He hated talking about it.

Clement knew that something was wrong, but let it go. He had known that Devin's parents hadn't treated him right before. But Devin made Clement swear on his life that he wouldn't tell Michael, in exchange for telling him when he needed help (Devin's side of the agreement not being fulfilled). Michael had agreed to not go to anyone, also long as he was alright. The second he feared Devin was going to do anything harmful to himself or others, he said he was going to go to someone. But there had never been an instance that Clement feared anything was going to happen.
And so Clement had kept his promise of not telling anyone—especially Michael—, but he had come close to breaking it many times before.

"Okay," He looked down at his feet, trying to release himself of the tense turn the conversation turned. He was going to confront him later. He had to make sure he was alright.

"Hey, ma?" Michael asked, looking over to her.

"Yes?" She said, watching Devin carefully. She knew that there was something really wrong, too. She raised four boys, she knew how they acted when they were upset.

Everything about his body language pointed to that. The slight shake in his hands, his tense shoulders, the way he seemed to be slumped forwards, the way he seemed much more timid than he usually was with... anybody except his parents.

"Where's Antonio?" Michael asked. The two twins disappeared out of the room, running off in different directions.

"He's staying at his friends house tonight,"

"Ah, okay,"

Devin knew that Michael was a bit disappointed to learn his youngest brother wasn't there since he had been staying with Devin for a while now.

"He'll be here tomorrow morning, so you'll be able to see him then, okay?" His mother said, smiling at him.

"Alright, well, me and Devin are gonna go shower now," Michael said as if he hadn't just suggested the fact the two of them were getting in at the same time.

Or, at least, Devin still hoped that that was what he meant by 'we're gonna go shower'.

"Boys, remember the two twins are in the house," Bella said. Looking at the two. Devin hated the look she was giving them.

Clement burst out laughing at his older brother's embarrassment when both their faces turned a deep, deep shade of red.

Then, unexpectedly from the other room, Xander yelled "Mom! We aren't stupid! We know what sex is,"

"Yeah! A guy at our school showed us a video of it, and it was pretty hot!"

"Why the hell would you say that?!" Xander loudly whispered. And from the sound of it, smacked Ren's chest.

"Why the hell did you hit me?!"

"Because your dumbass said 'it's pretty hot'! Why'd you tell mom that!"

"Well you started it!"

"Stop talking about that, you too!" She shook her head, rubbing her two temples. She gave a loud huff as the bickering continued from the other room.

"I can't believe those two," she whispered, mostly to herself. Looking towards the living room.

"Well..." Michael started, "Me and Devin weren't gonna do... that,"

Devin's heart sank a bit. Clement stifled a laugh, looking away, biting his lip. his cheeks puffed up with the laugh to-be. Devin focused his eyes on the ground.

"Devin just doesn't wanna be alone right now,"

"Ah, got it, but still. Be mindful of the other people in the house," his mom finished, looking back up at the two boys.

"I sleep in the room right under Michael's so at least try to be quite about it,"

"Watch your mouth in front of your mother!" Bella said, throwing the towel that was close to her on the table, at Clement.

"Sorry ma, it just slipped out!" Clement said, catching the towel in his hands.

"Alright, well, you boys go enjoy the shower—"

"But not too much—"

"Clement! I told you, we aren't doing that!" Michael irked, looking ready to absolutely terminate his brother if another word came from his mouth. His face was sour, until Devin grabbed his hand, rather subtly, calming him down a bit. his face turned back soft, and he looked away from his brother who always tried to find a way to irk him.

"Alright, alright,"

"Just go, I don't want to continue this conversation!" Bella sighed, laughing. her boys were growing up so fast. She turned back towards the stove, smiling to herself.

"I'll make you guys some food, so you have something to eat when you come downstairs, you boys look famished."

"Alright, thanks ma!" Michael snapped, not at his mom, but at the situation, ending the conversation a bit brutally. He yanked at Devin's hand, pulling him up the stairs quickly. Devin knew Michael's house by heart, inside our, with his eyes closed; he loved coming over after school, it was such a warm environment. He always felt at home. Always.

"Sorry, that conversation got a bit... weird," Michael's ears, and neck, were cherry red, hued in the dark room.

"Yeah, yeah, it's whatever," Devin huffed, looking off to the side, avoiding any eye contact with Michael. he was frustrated with how defensive he got. how he acted as if the thought of that turned him off so much.
"Jeez, what stick got shoved up your ass?" Michael asked about Devin's sudden 'sassiness'.

"Well that's exactly the opposite of the problem." Devin whisper-yelled back at Michael. He walked forwards, and into the bathroom fast. Michael followed behind him, and walked in on Devin already taking his shirt off.

It wasn't anything he hadn't seen before, since they had changed in the locker room together many times, but it was still blissful.

Michael knew that Devin didn't see it, but he really was beautiful. He always caught glances of people on the street, and was always a topic of conversation in their school. Michael cringed, thinking about how he hadn't ever outright told Devin that before. But he wanted to. He just didn't know how to say it.

Michael stayed silent, despite that. He just watched as Devin's muscles flexed as he pulled his shirt over his arms, and tossed it to the floor.

Devin looked back, hearing the door close all the way.
Him and Michael made eye contact, and then Devin said, "Well, are you gonna get in the shower too?"

Michael flushed a bit, embarrassed for staring. he didn't mean too, but he always did. even in the changing room. He couldn't help but be allured to Devin. The temptation. All of the what-ifs.

Michael turned around, pulling his shirt over his head, just to avoid further conversation.

It wasn't long before the two of them stood a foot away from each other, soaked with water, wearing nothing at all.

Neither of them made a move on the other, a bit embarrassed.

It wasn't the first time they saw each other naked, but it was a bit awkward since Michael knew what Devin wanted.

Devin seemed to have let it go, and was now facing away from Michael, washing his hair.

"Dev—"

"Don't," Devin snapped, annoyed with Michael.

"jeez, okay," Michael said, frustrated with Devin now.
Just because he said 'no'? Was that what this was about?

Probably.

"Is it because," Michael started, taking silent steps closer to Devin. Devin shivered at the feeling of Michael's hot breath on his shoulder. "I won't give you what you want?" He questioned.

Devin gulped nervously, turned around, and pushed him away. "Yes, now stop that!" Devin turned back around, rinsing his hair underneath the stream of water.

Michael frowned. He didn't want Devin to be mad at him but he couldn't really complain about it.

He finished washing up too, and looked at Devin once more. He was about to shut the water off, ready to towel off and leave the bathroom.

Michael grabbed his hand before he could turn the handle.

"What is it, now, Michael?" Devin asked, glaring at him.

Michael was a bit at a loss of words, but pulled Devin through the stream of water to kiss him.

Devin, still mad, kisses him back. His kiss said it all. It was full of hunger, and want. But Michael still wouldn't budge.

He wanted Devin to be in a better mental state before they did anything like that.

What if... what his mother said resurfaced during? What if he wanted to stop immediately since his own mother called him sick for it?

What if he had a panic attack during it?

What if, just like last time, he wanted to stop before they got anywhere at all? Of course, Michael would be perfectly fine with stopping, but still?

What if he was forcing himself to want this? Just because Michael had so many other options of girls he could choose to let his sexual frustrations out on. What if Devin wanted him to do that, giving up his body just for Michael to use, and take advantage of?
He didn't want any of those big possibilities to happen right now.

He kissed Devin's shoulder lightly before pulling away to step out of the shower.

Devin huffed from behind him, but obliged to get out of the shower.

They got back to Michael's room, and he gave Devin a baggy hoodie and sweatpants to wear.

He put on similar sweatpants, and a tank top on.
Devin secretly knew why he was handed a hoodie.
And he silently thanked Michael for it. Michael knew that he didn't wanna show his arm off to the entire world, even if it were just the four other Ajello's.
And as the two were about to leave the room, Michael grabbed Devin's chin, holding his face. Michael's eyes were sad, and full of regret.

"Huh?" Devin tried to ask, confused with what was going on. But his words were silent when Michael started kissing him.

Devin melted into the kiss, but knew that it wasn't gonna last for very long.

Devin kept the heat as long as he could. It wasn't a deep kiss like back in the car, but almost a reassurance to Devin. And that really was how he was trying to kiss him. He didn't want doubts running into Devin's mind.

Doubts that Devin would never voice.

I'm not good enough.

But even with the reassuring kiss, Devin couldn't help but think that's why he wouldn't. He tried to push away from these thoughts, but it didn't work. They kept coming back to torment him. He was never given a break.

Michael left the room first, leaving Devin standing, stunned, in the dark light.

Devin quickly followed him out of the room. They made their way down the stairs to where Michael's mother was waiting with the food she had promised.

"Here you go," She said, giving the boys each an onigiri on a plate. They smiled greatly as she slid them chopsticks too, followed by the promised bowl of soba noodles.

Devin felt a bit bad about eating this much food.
"Oh, and Devin?"

"Yes?" he responded. Looking up from his bowl of noodles.

"You left your phone downstairs, and it was buzzing a lot," she handed him the electronic, and he stared at it blankly.

He felt Michael looking over his shoulder to see who had been texting him.

And, quite honestly, a lot of people had. He scrolled through his contacts.

His calls, and FaceTimes.

Mostly from Klaus, like; Are you okay? Hey, you haven't been answering my calls? Is something wrong? You're worrying me... Devin?

Devin mentally hit himself. Klaus was the one person—other than Clement—who knew about his problems. And his parents, and his constantly worsened mental state. He didn't want him too, and told him not too, but Klaus only responded with 'he cared about him, and he wanted to make sure he was alright. Devin couldn't argue with that.

He was also the only other person who knew about the thoughts of ending it all, and Klaus would usually call every day or two to make sure that he was alright, and just check in.

But he wasn't the only interesting text message he had gotten.

back with another long chapter, thanks for reading my loves

with love,
—aa