18th✯

As much as I wanted to stay there to listen to a further explanation, I didn't. I left, running away from the warehouse and tried to go to somewhere I could take a moment to think. 

My mind was pounding like a heart that was out of breath, rushing and thumping all those vessels we had in us. It hurt, it ached, it oozes. 

If Sanha and I were really cousins and we had a past together, something still didn't explained why I don't remember him. Whatever the reason was, it had to do something with Mr. Yook, Dad being a mafia before and the fact Mr. Yook tried to kill the both of us when we were kids. 

There was a missing piece in between these two pieces, a bridge that was needed to be made so that it could easily connect the islands. The more I thought about it, the more I found myself walking in circles with the pieces clutched tightly in my hands. 

Rocky 

He tried everything he could. He distracted himself, he told himself over and over she's gone, but nothing worked. She remained in his heart, like a stubborn stain on your white shirt, nearly impossible to be erased. 

You shouldn't have fallen for her, Minhyuk, Rocky told himself, slapping the side of his head gently. 

"Rocky-a, what's wrong? Was there a bug on your head?" MJ then asked, taking a seat in front of him with a cup of coffee in his hands. 

Rocky's eyes were fixed on the cup of coffee, memories of Aerim making a cup of coffee for MJ flooded his mind. He wondered if she felt this way too. He would never know now. He foolishly let her go right after he told her how he felt. 

"Rocky? Rocky!" MJ called, waving a hand in front of his face. 

Rocky quickly snapped out of it, wondering what MJ was going on about. "Huh? Nae, hyung?"

MJ retrieved his head back, saying, "Mwoya? What were you daydreaming about? Were you thinking about Aerim?"

Rocky looked away, pretending to be staring out of the window to see the sun shine gently on everything below it. "No, I was thinking about our comeback."

MJ was grinning. "You want to see our AROHAs already? Miss them too much?"

"Yeah," Rocky replied with his thoughts wandering elsewhere. Or maybe I just need a distraction. 

"Eun Woo! Come here, look at Rocky. Doesn't it seem like he's acting strange?" MJ then called for Eun Woo when he saw him pass by the open door of the room they sat in. 

Eun Woo stopped in his tracks and reversed to look into the room, wondering what was up with them. "Nae?"

MJ motioned Eun Woo to approach him closer until he was. Then, MJ pointed at Rocky, who was lost in another world. MJ only snickered and told Eun Woo, "Don't you think something's up?"

Eun Woo stared at Rocky and tried to examine his facial features and the sudden way he was acting. "I think there's something. Something to do with Aerim?"

MJ thought it over, nodding in agreement. "It makes sense. The last time we saw Rocky happy was when Aerim was still around. Now that she's not coming here for filming, he's been acting strange."

Eun Woo and MJ then shared a grin together as Eun Woo suggested, "A failed crush?" 

"That's what I was thinking!" MJ snapped his fingers at his band mate, biting his lip as he thought it over. "Did he get rejected?"

"Now that I think about it, the two of them were really close. Every time Rocky got a chance, he would talk about Aerim. Why were we so blind in realizing that?" Eun Woo asked. 

MJ thought about it too. "Omo, you're right. What is wrong with us?"

"It's understandable. We were thinking more about our AROHAs and our comeback rather than what was going on around us," Eun Woo told his hyung, nodding his head. "Anyway, what do you bet will happen?"

MJ's grin slowly disappeared as it was replaced with a frown. "That's the thing. It's not like we're going to meet Aerim again, right? What are we going to do now? It's hard to look at Rocky this way."

"How about we make up a plan?" Eun Woo suggested. 

His hyung looked up, confused on what Eun Woo was implying right now. "A plan?"

Eun Woo grinned and motioned for MJ and him to move to another room to talk about it. So MJ followed what he said, leaving Rocky to continue quietly thinking on his own. 

He rested his head on the window, lightly lifting his head up and knocking it against the window's surface before he repeated the step over and over. 

Pabo, he chanted in his head. Why'd you walk away without waiting for her answer? It wouldn't hurt to know a simple yes or no. 

It was over. Just as the words continued repeating with Aerim's voice evident to his ears, Rocky nodded. He had to listen to her, if that was her last wish for him. And he'll move on. 

Sanha

Sanha paced around the rooftop day by day ever since Aerim's departure from the entertainment. No matter how much he thought about it, nothing made sense. 

I'm her cousin? What?

If that were true, why doesn't he remember her being his family member? Her face wasn't very familiar, but there was a part in him that remembered her, but all this while, he thought it was just deja vu. 

Was that why all those times Sanha tried to be cheesy for fun, Aerim would push him away? Because they were nothing more but cousins?

His fists clenched on their own as his head rose and stared into the skies before his eyes closed on their own. Just when he thought he was about to fall in love, a secret like this breaks out? This secret couldn't be as shocking as the ones seen in dramas. 

Cousins, he repeated in his head with much hatred, nothing but cousins. 

"Sanha-yah, mwohae? (What are you doing?)" a voice then asked. 

Sanha opened his eyes and let his head moved towards the direction of the door and saw Moonbin standing by it with his hands holding onto the door. 

"Oh, hyung." Sanha quickly stood up straight and even forced a smile. "What brings you up here?"

"What are you doing here alone?" Moonbin asked, entering the rooftop and took a seat on the bench nearby. 

Sanha shook his head and smiled at Moonbin. "Aniya, there's no reason. I just wanted some fresh air, hyung."

Moonbin smiled back at him before his eyes fell on the wooden board that made up the rooftop's floor. He nodded and patted the seat next to him and instructed, "Sanha-yah, sit next to me."

Sanha was confused but he knew it was best to listen to Bin's words. So he took a seat next to him and waited for him to say something. 

"Sanha-yah," Moonbin called. 

Sanha looked up from his thighs and asked, "Nae, hyung?"

"Tell me truth."

Sanha was confused. What did Moonbin want to know?

"You're acting this way because of Aerim, right?"

Sanha looked up to meet Moonbin's eyes, shocked such a question escaped from his lips. "Hyung, that's, er..."

Truth is, even Sanha wasn't sure if it was her fault or not. She never told him they were cousins and she only continued making him look like a fool in the end. Still, he couldn't seem to take it out on her. 

Moonbin smiled and helped him, "It is, isn't it?"

Sanha's eyes fell onto his thighs as he stammered, "About that... I'm not sure."

"Unlike the others who were probably thinking about the comeback more, I observed you, Sanha. You were happier when you were around her. You like her, don't you?" Moonbin teased the maknae. 

That was just it. Sanha wasn't sure anymore. If it weren't for this complicated relationship, he would have said yes, but now he was just hesitant. 

He needed an explanation, but was it possible for him to meet Aerim again?

"Sanha? Sanha!" Moonbin called when he saw the maknae fall into a daze. 

"Huh?" Sanha looked around and saw his hyung. "Oh, hyung. Nae? Were you saying something?"

Moonbin stared at the maknae with amusement evident in his face. "Wah, daebak. Sanha-yah, what were you thinking, huh? You must really like her, don't you?"

Sanha immediately shook his head. "That can't happen."

"What do you mean?"

Sanha tried explaining, "She says we're cousins. I don't know hyung. If we are family, how come I've never seen her? Are we distant cousins? Or are we close? I don't remember her at all. It's complicated."

Moonbin's teasing smile stopped as his head craned to the side. "Nae? You guys are cousins? How long have you known this for? How come you've never told us, especially CEO hyungnim?"

Sanha gripped to the sides of his head and rested it onto his thighs. "That's the thing, hyung! Why didn't Aerim tell me earlier? I ended up looking like a fool in the end."

Moonbin didn't know what else to do but a hand naturally patted Sanha's back as Moonbin's lips fell into a thin, straight line. "It must have been hard for you."

"I want an explanation, hyung. The more I think about it, the more I remembered how scared she was. Something must be happening in her life—something we're not aware of," Sanha tried assuming. 

Moonbin leaned in closer, his eyebrows furrowing. "What do you mean? Things she never told you? That doesn't make sense."

"Hyung, there are things happening in Aerim's life. Things I'm not aware of. Remember when she fainted in the streets and when she ran away just from staring into my eyes? There's something that's connecting all those phenomenons. I just don't know what..."

Sanha felt lost and he didn't even notice his eyes were moving around, unable to concentrate on one thing only. It was scary to think Aerim going through such scary times even he didn't know about and he couldn't help her because, in the first place, he didn't even know. 

Then Sanha stood up, startling Moonbin because he thought he froze there in his state. 

"Wae? Do you suddenly have to go to the bathroom?" Moonbin teased, snickering under his breath. 

 "Aniyo!" Sanha said, his voice going high pitched as he whined to his hyung. "I just thought of something."

"And what's that, other than you wanting to go to the bathroom?" Moonbin didn't stop snickering. 

"Aish, hyung," Sanha muttered under his breath. Then, in a louder voice, he told him, "Hyung, we have to go see Aerim. We need an explanation."

Aerim 

Explanations. 

What I needed the most was an explanation. Yet, was there anyone who would give it to me? No. Definitely not. So I had to find them somehow. How? I wasn't sure. I haven't thought about that. 

I looked up into the skies and saw that it was slowly being replaced with the jet black skies that either got paired with stars or not. If I wasn't home after the sun sets, I would get into big trouble, so I hurried in my heavy steps back home. 

The door made a beeping sound but even the sound couldn't stop the never ending silence echoing in my head as I tried to think. I felt like a TV that lost its connection. 

"Aerim, there you are! Wash up and then eat your dinner—" Mom paused when she caught a glance of me. "Aerim? What's wrong?"

I glanced at Mom for a second before murmuring, "Not hungry."

"Aerim. Aerim? Aerim!" Mom trailed behind me until she stood by my door frame. "Where have you been? You've been gone for almost the entire day."

I heard the door beep again and this time, heavy footsteps. 

Dad. 

I grimaced remembering the scene at the warehouse. 

Mom turned around and saw Dad for a grief second as he passed by the narrow, short hallway of our apartment. He looked tired and restless; eye bags grew under his eyes as if he hasn't slept in three days. 

What could have happened after I left?

It took me a moment to realize those eye bags weren't eye bags. They were, in fact, bruises caused by somebody. My fists clenched then stopped. I was too tired right now to deal with this. 

Mom's attention drew back to me after she briefly looked at Dad as she worriedly asked, "Are you sick? Do you want me to make you porridge instead?"

I quietly shook my head and sat down on my bed. "No thanks, eomma. I just want to sleep now, is that fine?"

Mom's lips flickered for a moment and I heard her mumble something I didn't catch. "Arasso, rest. We'll see how you'll be doing tomorrow."

"Okay, thanks, eomma," I said, taking a clean pair of clothing. 

Once Mom left the room to do a chore in the kitchen, I caught a sight of my dad's stout belly and immediately ran up to him. 

He gave me a smile but I avoided his eyes. 

Dad asked, "Is something wrong, Aerim?" 

"Appa, can I talk to you for a while?" I requested. Then added on a serious note, "Alone."

"What ever for?" Dad asked, curious. 

"Let's just talk in my room, Dad. I want to ask you a few things." I had to make a move now or I'll forever be stuck. If no one tells me now, I'll be the one having to suffer alone. 

I guided Dad into my room for a brief moment, and hoping it would only be brief. We took a seat on my bed and I mentally prepared myself to ask something I've been meaning to ask for a while now. 

"Appa, tell me honestly... there's something going on, isn't there?" I asked. 

"That question is kind of vague, Aerim. What do you mean by that?" Dad asked back. 

I inhaled a deep breath and asked once again, "Appa, Jeonghan's disappearance... there's something behind it, isn't there? Also, appa, please be honest with me. What happened in the past? Was there someone out trying to kill me back then?"

Dad was perplexed by the sudden questioning, as if he never expected me to know anything at all. 

Well, he shouldn't have kept something so important from me for so long. 

I sighed and told him, "Appa, I'm fifteen. I need to know things too. Yes, there are things I've hidden from you that may or may not involve me in this whole mess with Jeonghan's disappearance and... your past."

Dad's eyes enlarged by the words I slowly said. "Where did you hear all of these from?"

"That doesn't matter right now. I want you to be honest with me, appa. I don't know how long you've been hiding your past—I don't need to know—but what I want to know is my past. If Sanha is my cousin, why can't I remember him?" My forehead creased as the questions continued coming. "What does everything have to do with him? Why our family? What's really going on?"

Dad inhaled a sharp, deep breath. "Keurae, you're at an age where you finally deserve to know things. But I'm warning you, Yoon Aerim. These things were kept from you for a reason. We didn't want you scare you nor do we want to overprotect you. We just didn't know what to do, in short."

My hand that was placed on top of my thighs slowly crumpled with part of the sweatpants I was wearing. I was nervous to finally hear the truth. What secrets have Dad been hiding all these times? 

"Aerim, you got involved in an accident, along with your cousin, Sanha. Long time ago, around the age of nine or so... That wasn't some accident accident, it was all planned by one person. I will not say who for protective measures, but you had amnesia after that accident. So you don't remember Sanha and there's a reason why we don't talk about him anymore, but I won't tell you. Please understand some of these maturely, Aerim. I'm just trying to protect you," Dad reasoned out. 

My forehead wrinkled as I tried to process the new information. "Then what kind of accident was it?"

"A car accident. It was a set up."

It wrinkled up again. The car wheels screeches. The screams I heard when I stared into Sanha's eyes. They weren't hallucinations. They were... broken shards of memories I've forgotten about because of amnesia. 

"Appa," I called, looking into his eyes. "Why didn't anyone tell me I had amnesia?"

"We figured it would have been best if you forgot about everything. It was hard trying to get you to remember anyway," Dad simply explained. 

"No, that's not making any sense. Is this for protective reasons again?" I asked in an irritated voice. 

Dad slowly gave in and answered, "Y-yes. It is."

My grip on my sweatpants tightened even harder. "This— This doesn't make sense! Why are you and Mom trying to keep me away from Sanha? What did he ever do to us?"

Dad silently stared at me without answering the question. 

I was frustrated having to know Sanha has connections with this messed up story, but I was mad because they seemed so aloof to their nephew, as if he was a criminal that escaped from this family. I still didn't understand. Despite receiving more puzzle pieces, I still didn't get it. 

Dad then stood up and walked to the door. Before he left, he told me in a serious voice, "Stay away from Yoon Sanha by all means, Aerim. I'm saying this for your safety."

Then he left the room and still, so many questions were hanging and left unanswered. 

~Author's Notes~

Here's an update for my lovely Kimichies and things still don't seem to make sense, right? Slowly, you'll finally understand what's going on and everything *^^*

You guys are just so lovely like all of you need my sarangs for all the love you've given both me and the book <333 You guys deserve a giant kookie *thumbs up with hearts*

xoxo

Byun Sang Kyung