Pov Yoongi

When I visited the grave the next day I was completly silent. I couldn't bring myself to say a word, because I didn't dare to speak to him.

I didn't even look at the gravestone.

I was too ashamed of myself that I went back to my old habits. He always hated it when I cut my wrists, but I couldn't fight the urge to feel the pain yesterday.

I only sat in front of his name and looked down at my hands for a long time. I didn't even know how long it was.

"I'm sorry, Jiminie." I said when I finally found the courage to speak. "I know I am disgusting. Please don't be mad at me, I just can't take it anymore. You were the only one that saved me everyday and motivated me to go on. Showed me that my life had a point! What should I do now. I can't live like this anymore. I miss you so fucking much and I want to be with you again, but I don't have the courage to end this living hell."

I wiped the tears away that started to fall down while I spoke.

"I hope you can also forgive me for what I might do next." I whispered before I stood up and left the graveyard.

~time skip~

Back at the appartment I immediatly laid down on the couch again.

Since yesterday I tried to fight against the thoughts to contact him again, but when I was at Jimin's grave today I nearly collapsed.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I grabbed my phone and dialed the number.

It didn't take long for him to pick up as he answered after 5 seconds.

"Hello?"

"Namjoon, it's me. Meet me in the park. Bring the usual." I ordered him and hang up the phone without saying anything else.