Pov Yoongi

My view was still covered with a veil of tears when I arrived back at the apartment I once called home. Now it was just a place were I could sleep and be alone with my sorrow.

I fell onto the couch and looked through my phone.

There were a few texts from my mom and some friends that wanted to know how I was, but I didn't respond to any of the messages.

I scrolled through my phone until my eyes landed on a name I haven't contacted in a long time.

I was about to click on it, but I stopped myself.

'No. I promised him.' I thought, turned of the phone and threw it a few meters away.

"But I need it more than ever......
No!! Don't even think about it ,Yoongi. You stopped all this for him!!" I debated with myself.

I turned around and closed my eyes to sleep for a while and to get the thoughts out of my head.

But I couldn't fall asleep and I kept thinking of the contact I didn't need in so long.

The urge to make the call was growing every minute and it seemed like the only way.

I couldn't take this any longer. The whole situation was killing me on the inside.

I scratched my arms until they began to bleed as I tried to convince myself that this was a bad idea.

My whole body began to shake, because of the inner conflict I was having.

I had to keep my promise to him, but I couldn't take it anymore. I needed it.

He wouldn't mind it if it made me feel better, right?

I felt like my head was about to explode, so I ran in the bathroom to search through the drawers.

"Found you!"

I took out one of the razor blades and sat down on the floor before placed it on my wrists.

"I'm sorry, baby." I whispered and dragged the blade across the skin of my wrist.

The following pain took my mind off of everything else and I could only concentrate on the red liquid that was running down my arm.

I put the blade down and leaned against the wall as I just watched my blood covering the floor.
      
     
     

><><><><