Pov Yoongi

I slowly increased the fraction of the Ecstasy with each day and it worked really well.

I don't understand why everyone says this is so dangerous. It's helping me.

I only took little steps in raising the share of the Ecstasy, but today I added 4 times as much as I usually did.

No risk no fun.

With those little steps it just took too much time. I need to hold my baby again. This is the only reason why I even do this.

I just drank a glass of water while I could still think straight and came back into the living room.

"Min Yoongi" I suddenly heard my name being called out. But it wasn't the same cheerful sound I always hear. It came out as a throaty croak.

I approached the miserable sounds that seemed to come out of the bedroom and slowly opened the door and instantly froze in shock.

Blood.

There was blood everywhere.

In the middle of it....

My baby.

The picture was so traumitizing that I couldn't take my eyes off of it.

Jimin was laying against a wall, covered in blood, his throat slit.
His head was hanging to the side lifelessly and his soulless eyes stared into space.

"You did this to me, Min Yoongi. You killed me." He said, a dead expression in his eyes.

"You could have saved me."

I started to tremble as I heard these words coming out of his mouth. It was the exact same thing that I thought everyday, but hearing it from him was killing me.

"I tried baby" I choked out. Fighting the tears that wanted to break free from my eyes.

"If you really did then I wouldn't be lying here." He answered in the same monotone voice as before.

"I tried. I really did. I couldn't do anything. Please believe me. I would have done anything to save you, but there was no way." I sniffled.

"Lies. You never even thought about saving me"

"Shut up. SHUT UP! You're not real!" I cried out, clutching my hands over my ears as if that could block the terrible things that left those perfectly plump lips. "This is not real. I really did try to save you."

"Why didn't you take my place then? You should have died, not me."

"I know" I whispered, the tears now breaking free and uncontrollingly running down my face.

"I should be dead" I repeated over and over again, stumbling out of the room and towards the bath.

While I searched for the little metal piece I acidentally cut my finger. The blood dripping everywhere, but I didn't even feel the cut.

Sitting down on the floor I dragged the sharp metal across my wrist.

One time. Two times. Three times....

Until I blacked out.