One day I wish I could grow the courage to be ugly to you
On purpose
I wish to pull out my hair while screaming
My fingernails clawing at my scalp while I cry
To say all the pent up angry details in the air
Use my words to carve a hole in your chest
The same way you would to me
In your careless demeanor
I want to collapse onto the floor because I've worked myself up so much
Curl into a corner of my kitchen and throw things at you
To keep you as far away from me as possible
I want to give you a glimpse into the ugly inside of me
And I want it to hurt
I want you to see the hurt you've caused me time and time again
And I want you to hurt
From the realization of exactly what you did to me
I desire nothing more to be cruel and ugly at you
But I am too afraid

[Ayo happy super early father's day, this ones for you champ]