Sorrow burrowed itself beneath my freckles
I want to scream and cry like a child
I want to feel anger to swaddle me
I want some kind of emotion
One that explains everything that was bottled up

With hopes to claw at the itchy feelings that crawled along my skin

It tortured me with a plan for me to suffer
Pity taunted me from the shadows of demons
I desired for a fierce wolf of rage to tear me apart
I craved for a beast of grief to consume me
A monster of misery to slaughter me

I prayed for some kind of river to wash pain onto me

I wanted my eyes to be cracked with ruby
Some kind of suffering that would shatter me
Like the bottle that contains any life that I once stood by my side
Some way to force tears from my dying eyes
Pushing air out of my lungs until I’m sobbing

I needed feeling in my hands when they touched my surroundings

My chest felt heavy and my body was its own anchor
I had no way of breaking the surface of emotions I wanted to feel
And they had plotted to drown me in the darkness
I had already gone light headed as nothing suffocated me
Which became a daily activity for this ocean

My ship had wrecked and I was sinking
The sand engulfed me and any sensations I had left
It swallowed any creatures including me
No sooner it would spit me out
Leaving me bland and empty

I had become a ship that was trapped beneath the ocean
It left me unreactive and numb from any current