I saw a familiar and whole new side of myself last night

Or was it this morning?

If you go by the clocks

I guess you could say I lost my mind in the early reaches of the morning

If you go by man's circadian rhythm

You could say I had no clue what was coming when night fell

My stomach cramps as I search for a pencil

It's definitely morning now

My heartbeat has slowed

My breaths are full

But I inhale smoke

There's an overwhelming desire to lock myself in the closet

And never come out

Except my closet door does not lock

Then there's the next urgency

To lock myself in the shower

And scrub every inch of my body

Except shower doors don't lock

Whenever I look up from a task I see you there

I try to navigate my feelings towards you

But all I feel is disgust and a sickening sensation of pride