I had an idea earlier today
To rewatch one of my favourite movies
That I've only ever seen once
Yet it makes me smile when I think about it
Smile in a way my mother will only interpret
As a love for musicals play or movie
With a caution in my feet I dance
To the songs the characters sing

Then I had another idea
I shake my head and dance on
My mind yells and cries for me to
Dip my toes into the water
Walk down the trail to the lake and jump in
Clothed or not
At least to dip my toes into the water
We scream and cry at each other
Until our voices give out
But even then we whisper our points
I don't want to listen
I don't want to think about it
But I let it sit for moment

I wish I could strip nude in the forest
Bare feet trampling over late summer leaves
And mountain air rushing down the peaks into my lungs
Damp wood of the dock is the last my feet feel before I
Jump
Into the wind I breathe
Inhale and
Exhale
The forest is quiet
The world hushed
Like a bird hovering in the sky
Seconds before I
Crash
Into the water
My wake conquering the still
And like an aquatic creature
I slither through and break the surface
Floating on my back the waves gently hold me
The ripples caress me to return nature to its stillness
I absorb the sun's rays through my exposed stomach
My face is wet and speckled from droplets of my own private pool
However my shaking hands can recognize which are tears
In between floating and a backstroke I learned years ago I listen to the
Birds sing my favourite melodies from their August green leaves
I wish I could strip nude in the forest and jump into a lake

I wish I could give into the sirens in my head
Instead I'm screaming in my kitchen at myself
And watching my fantasies from the forest
Fully clothed