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Fires of Youth

My creative writing t shirt billows in the wind like a ship's sail
My old bras cling to my ribs like a child attached to their mother's leg
The angle I see my reflection in the mirror changes
Every single night I brush my teeth
While fixing lunch I hovered over the kitchen sink
Like the flock of vultures who watch over my neighbourhood similar to angels of death
Earlier this week while processing missed funerals
I looked up from the crevices of the couch to fiddle with my new rubber dinosaurs
Wearing eyes of seven year old me struggling to understand the world I had been placed in
However right now my eyes meet my reflection in the bathroom mirror
My clothes fit as perfectly as I could ever wish for
Shelves adorned with dinosaur memorabilia
My graduation cap covered in past words
And in a small blank space lies a tribute to my first cat
Fires of my youth flicker and burn on their dwindling wicks
The moths listen to me hum a song I'm hesitant to hear again
My shoes fit my feet as I shiver with excitement
Upon the realization that both reduces and increases my size until I am me
That I'm graduating tomorrow
In a dress so pink Molly Ringwald would be proud
No longer am I sitting on the sidelines of coming of age movies
From the ambiguity of the years in between mid 80s and early 2000s
I'm living in my own movie where I break the prison
My mind has captured itself in
Of delusions of being trapped inside the body of a nine year old
Finally for the first time in myself I feel so indescribably me
The correct height and style and nostalgic joy for an unfamiliar school of mine
Nighttime air is humid as I watch the stars float upon the invisible lining of the sky
Bats swoop from their hiding places to catch bugs
Fires burn and flicker to the melody I hum
I can finally sit back and I have my moment
A moment I've desired to feel and be allowed to experience
My selfish inhibitions I've hid in small jars in my jewelry
One more chance
One last time
I will cross the stage with my torch
Fires burning
Flames flickering
As someone I've been waiting to meet

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