[A poem made of pieces of poems from throughout the year. Have a wonderful new year!!]

You've brought me down an inescapable ride
Not letting me breathe for a second
From trying to follow impossible maps in Oklahoma
To gargoyles reaching for a new love
One inhale are flurries of houses I can't return to
One exhale underwater is the beginning of drowning in July
It's exhausting to only breathe starfish
I miss the realms of fantasy
Where I knew everyone's name
Why Q could never live with X
Why there are only two kinds of people in this world
And why an artless swig of air cannot compare
To the starry dances of twilight with a lost lover in pink ballet slippers
To finally allowing myself to love my dearest King of Fools
To fight back against the gods trying to shut me down
To tear the gun out of your hands and away from my temple
To put the last brick of my mind palace into place
And to watch the sunrise, even if I never receive a long desired kiss
Let's move through this ballroom we created
Only to break off into the garden
Not as elusively as we hoped
 Let's run into the grass without our shoes
Feel the dew between our toes
Because in this maze we're no longer royalty
A night in Verdun with a sky full of stars
Each twinkling with dreams when we were kids
 Now we're stepping forwards from the fog and out of the bay
With each breath the rhythm in my blood
Reminds me I was born infatuated
Eyes to the skies
In love with celestial secrets
Each daring experience
Reminds me I was raised high
Light still comes with dark
But it's not too dark and it's not my fault
Oddly enough it feels like we're on the way home from war
All my history and thoughts written down and stowed away in a not-diary
That no one reads anymore
I can no longer answer the age old question of
What happens in Oklahoma
An unbelievable amount does and always will
So let's sit by the water and listen to the dolphins sing
Some things will stay the same and some will change
But that's the natural flow of this strange river ride we're living in
Once again we'll reach for the flurries above
Scream as loud as we can with our fists held high
Flying our flags against the storm
And maybe you'll wear my red scarf I'm so convinced you'll take
I must be doing something right because I'm still standing
Nothing feels Out Of Reach anymore
Keep walking along this path with me Ruby
Admire the rocks I've found beside the trails
The boys and I will be in the bar tonight
We'll raise our glasses high in celebration
Because I now understand how to dance solo
And that's it okay to want a hug to get me out from behind this shower curtain
The wind still knows how dangerous we are
But never letting go of each other's hands
We did it
We made it
We reached the end of the tunnel
There's opportunity to stop and smell the daffodils
While I still think you should burn that vague letter I wrote
It's okay
We'll wave farewell to the green light
And break the current
It's okay if it isn't you
Especially you
This has all felt like
Another 3 am fever dream
 So rest your hand in mine
Let's retrace our steps back
Hand on my waist
Let's dance in the October skies
Be my Irish Bluebird
With eyes of wide and summer blue skies
Look how far we've come
It's better
Who knows who has the power now
It may have been a dark day
But we aren't judging love
Memories stored in our dreams
Nostalgia resting never too far
We'll be okay
I'll be okay