How many times are we going to play this cat-and-mouse game?

Where you run to the mountaintops and encourage me to follow

Stepping just out of reach of my weary hands

I've played this game so many times

That I can't even get my hopes up at the thought of winning

I splash my feet in the pond of melted snow

Does that count as taking a risky dive?

At this point I melt with the icy crystals

Giving into the expectation of evaporation

I'm too tired to fight it but I'm exhausted from running to it

To you I run through winter storms even though my lungs shrivel up

Begging me to stop before somebody gets hurt but I just don't care anymore

However I care enough to savor the taste of shame and keep my mouth shut

How much longer is this supposed to last?

I'm walking blind at this point because I refuse to see it

My ears are covered because I refuse to hear my own thoughts

I refuse to deal with the consequences of being human

For weeks I've pushed at the dam in attempt to get answers

Instead I'm laughing the most bitter laugh I've ever choked up

Nothing makes sense in the rambling of neurosis firing nonsensical chatter

I'm an expert at lying to others as I've made quite the career out of it

But I'm a million times better at fooling myself

I simply have yet to give myself the proper recognition

Maybe I should break old habits and try a little honesty to my own face

It sounds like someone else's voice in my head

So I should face facts and scream it in the mirror

See it come from my mouth

I can't whisper it or it isn't real

I have to feel my vocal cords vibrate

Ground me to reality

My voice tries to fade into a whisper

But I stop the words from vanishing from my throat

It becomes real, it is real

Either a weight has been lifted or added

I can't tell but I have one more foot on the ground

And my head is so dizzyingly silent

I don't know what I'm feeling anymore

Perhaps now I can enter my bathroom and cut off my hair

Become a new person and move on from fantasy

From this game of cat-and-mouse