I'm that blonde haired blue eyed beauty,
who sits in the front of the class,
that perfect straight a's girl who can always strike up a conversation and make people laugh.

I wear make up and twirl in dresses,
I always make a point to look nice,
to never have any chub,
but I always pay the price.

Though nobody sees the fences,
how I think all this is not enough,
nobody knows the expenses,
or the sins from my body I scrub.

They don't see how I put up my defenses,
I cover my pain too well.
They say my beauty is so precious,
they even love the way I smell.

Oh how I hate being this way,
insecure when people are there,
friends who just don't care,
checking what I wear and always conscious of how much I weigh.

Oh how I wish I was okay,
how I didn't have to obey...
the rules of society;
fill in the lines, oh so quietly,
not allowed to have anxiety.

I wish that someone, understood my pain,
oh how I wish I had a shotgun, and a bullet to put in my brain,
oh how I wish, the golden sunshine would glow!
Just for me...but then they would see the tears flow...

But no.

The clouds loom over me,
though I pretend that sun's still there.
I'm perfect, because I have to be,
people think it's an honor to even breathe my air!

..Though they only care,
because of my popularity.

I wish this wasn't me.

They tell me i'm positively flawless,
though stereotypically, i'm known as thoughtless,
gorgeous, yes sure,
makes me cautious even more because I know someone will try to use me.

Make me who I don't want to be.

I wish this wasn't me.