Since graduating, I've been stuck on the same mundane schedule. I go to school on Monday, I stay at home for the rest of the week, I go to work on the weekends. I don't talk to my friends, I can't drive so I don't go anywhere. It's just an empty repetitive cycle. I want a new job but I'm not qualified for anything. I feel stuck at this job I've been working at for a year. I don't get paid much. I feel incredibly unmotivated. I feel useless. Some days, I don't even feel like waking up. I rather just stay in a dream.

I indulge myself in roleplays because I can pretend to be someone I'm not. I can pretend to be someone interesting that people actually want to talk to. I can pretend like I'm surrounded by others. Then those roleplays die and I feel alone again. This is sad and pathetic.

But I'm afraid of change. I'm afraid to do anything differently because even though the cycle is miserable, it's comfortable. I know what to expect. This is why I'm so useless. This is why I'm such a disappointment.