So I've had this peom for a couple weeks now.  Obviously I wrote this after ANOTHER fight with my parents.  I didn't want to publish it this month.  I've been trying to write another one.  A happier one.  But today my Dad just gave me the muse to publish it.  Another fight.  On my birthday.  Just wow.  I am beyond done with him.  I've stopped defending myself at this point, I just let him walk all over me.  He was yelling at me for huffing and growling and yelling at him over the phone.  I litterally did none of the above.  Sure I did whine a little cuz he implied that we eat at a food court for dinner on my birthday.  But whining and saying "I don't want to eat at a food court on my birthday" is a far cry from yelling, growling and huffing.  Anyways here it is:

Published date: June 28 2018

why won't you leave me alone?
why won't you understand
you make me hurt so
i just want to be left alone

I'm not the girl you think I am
I can talk your ear off if I want to
but I appreciate silence
I relish in it.

why can't you see?
that to live, to breathe
I need you to leave
to seal your lips and silence your movements

SHUT UP
LEAVE ME ALONE
GIVE ME PRIVACY
I BEG OF YOU

please understand
no matter how well you think you know me
you don't care enough to know me at all
it's sad but true

you've known me since the day i was born
yet, you don't know me
I'm an introvert, everyone knows it
but somehow you don't

I don't like being touched
others understand this
but somehow,
you don't

hugs feel confining
they feel wrong
but you refuse to understand
you insist I give them to everyone

you yell at me when I move away
but when I'm near I don't feel well
stay away, 3 feet minimum
that would be great

you force me to say things
they aren't true
but if I don't, I'm in trouble
"I'm sorry" "it's ok" "you are right" "I am wrong" "I love you"  

LEAVE ME ALONE
STAY AWAY
I HATE YOU
BUT I'M NOT ALLOWED TO

your voice is like nails on a chalkboard
you act like whiny 2 year olds
why do you yell and punish me
for acting like you?

you say you didn't raise me that way
but if I carried a video camera everywhere
I could show I do exactly what you do
monkey see monkey do

you're my parents
my example for everything
why is it that when I do what you do I am punished?
but when I do stuff learned from tumblr or pinterest I'm praised?

TV and internet taught me to be kind
to love
to make a family to fill the hole
the hole that you created  

you build up all my hopes
then crush them
and watch me cry
unless it's a goal you set for me

my teachers are music, social media, youtube, TV, and some celebrities
that's not right
you are supposed to by heroes
who I look up to  

but I don't
I can't
I won't
because I don't want to be you

you are homophobic SOBs
sure you're fine with gay
but the second it expands
you hate, it doesn't exist or it's bad

you think:
trans: mental disorder/illness
bi: cheaters, don't date
pan: so you'll make out with that tree
ace: completely impossible
aro: doesn't exist
demi: that's not how love works

YOU ARE WRONG!
YOU ARE AMISS!
YOU ARE ERRONEOUS!
YOU ARE NOT RIGHT!  

you need to understand
people are different
I am different
and it is okay

we are perfect
I am perfect
I am different from you
and I like it.