Cassandra "CC" Cavanaugh/Cathy Marks

My mother named me Cassandra.

Kah-sahn-drah.

She always put an emphasis on the pronunciation, as if that would somehow elevate me. In her defense, the name does mean "to excel, to shine" so perhaps she thought it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Being the only child of a wealthy family puts certain pressures on you, especially when you're a girl. You have to attend party after party, endless years of social networking to make the perfect shallow friends. They, in turn, induct you into the perfect social circle of vultures, and eventually lead you to the perfect husband, who will cheat – a lot – so you cope with alcohol, pills, and plastic surgery until the day you die. That's what happened to my mother but that was not going to be my fate. Escapism into our vast library wasn't acceptable, not that it stopped me. So many literary giants, they opened my eyes to endless possibilities. It took some time, of course, and careful planning but Cassandra died the day that mansion burned to ash.

In the past, I was Cassandra: the princess who warned her worthless family about horrible things, begged them to listen. But they didn't believe her. So they died and she was left all alone, to be raped and violated. At least Cassandra had the benefit of not knowing her rapist. In the present, however, I am Cathy Marks, the name I crafted to reflect who I had to become, who I truly am. Cathy came from Cathy Ames in Steinbeck's "East of Eden", the malformed soul who burned down her family home with her parents still inside and murdered her madame to get her job. She was a true inspiration. Marks came from Atwood's "Alias Grace", the story a convicted murderess; intelligent and observant, patient, duplicitous, an enigma to be sure. In a word: me. I almost went with Grace as my first name but that was my grandmother's name so it felt inappropriate. Leaving the past behind you means leaving all of it. No reminders, no exceptions.

But Cathy – oh, Cathy – she spoke to my soul. ""They thought they were so smart," she said. "They looked at me and thought they knew about me. And I fooled them. I fooled every one of them."" I even fooled you, Joe.

Until that day.

Until that annoying fucking ghost from my past recognized me. I had you right where I wanted you. Finding you that night was an accident but you were so inept, I couldn't help myself. You were an easy mark. The pictures of you dragging that body in the woods was more than enough to keep you comfortably in my pocket for as long as I wanted. You were mine. And then that bitch had to open her mouth, give you a bread trail to follow. It was careless of me and you almost got me, Joe. You almost had me. But you've been careless, too. Luckily for me, I'm not the only girl you failed to kill. We'll see you soon, Joe. Candace and I, we'll see you real soon...