34th➳

It was like any day, really. I was walking with Jihoon to school once again and I was getting better in accepting the fact that Joshua wasn't going to be around me anymore. I would sometimes see Joshua and Gain together in school, talking and, at first, it bothered me a lot. I looked away a lot when I saw them together but over time, I came to accept the fact that he won't ever come back to me.

Right? Right. I think. Okay, I don't know for sure because at times, I would feel like it's finally time to let go of him but other times, I believed that he would come back to me. I trusted that small part of me.

It's like an instinct. Something I told myself ever since I was old enough to understand. If I trusted and believed something, with a little bit of pixie dust, I'd be able to fly. In reality, that flying didn't exactly mean I would really be flying-off the ground and in the air and everything-it just meant that I'd be happy.

Happiness.

Why is it, to me, that word was a word I couldn't fully grasp? It came to me like a pretty light but it lasted for a few seconds. It felt that way, at least. Happiness; something I can never get fully.

Jihoon elbowed me, which felt ticklish. "You okay?"

I snapped out of it and glanced over at Jihoon. "Huh? Of course I'm fine. I'm just sleepy so I'm dazing out a lot lately."

Jihoon stopped in his tracks and stared at the ground.

"What's wrong?" I asked, noticing that he had stopped in his tracks. "Jihoon?"

Jihoon grabbed onto my wrist, pulling me closer to him and made eye contact. Since we were about the same height, we could easily meet at the same eye level. "I know you're hurting, so stop being hurt. I'm here now, I'll protect you. Only if you'll come to me."

"What?" I stared at him with a pair of confused eyes.

Jihoon aggressively pulled me into a hug, which surprised me. "You said things are over between the two of you, didn't you? So come to me now. I'm right here now, Nari. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you for a decade, but I am now."

"Jihoon, speak words I can understand."

Jihoon pushed me back a little so our eyes would meet. "I've always liked you, Kwon Nari. I couldn't understand it at first, too, but over time, I realized that it was the feeling of love. Like how you learned to love, I learned that I fell in love."

I blinked at him, shocked. "Jihoon, no..."

"You're not with Joshua anymore." A smile fell on his lips. "So will you come to me?"

I stayed quiet.

"You know, when I first found out you were with Joshua that one day in the streets, I was honestly unsure what my feelings were doing to me. Remember that time?"

Of course I remembered. That was the day my dad, Joshua and I got into some fight together. The day Joshua got hurt because of my dad.

Jihoon's eyes wandered around. Then he looked like he was trying to remember something. "I was confused. Feelings can be really confusing. In that time of me ignoring you, I came to realized that I pushed you away because I liked you and that I was jealous."

I lowered my head as I felt bad for him. This wasn't happening.

Jihoon continued, "When I heard you broke up with Joshua, I couldn't help but feel happy. I told myself: I had a chance now. But you're still moping around because of him at this time and it's about time I let you know about my feelings. Stop hurting now, Nari. Will you come to me? Will you be mine?"

My head was still lowered. I couldn't face Jihoon properly knowing that I had a solid answer. Finally, I gathered all the courage I had left and looked up to meet his eyes.

His eyes were another thing that tore my heart. Staring into those hopeful eyes, I couldn't do it. Still, I shouldn't give him false hopes. I shouldn't lead him on something that was never real.

"Jihoon," I started, unsure whether I could handle the outcome. I should be more worried about him, though. He was too hopeful. He was expecting a miracle.

"Yes?" he ended up asking when I took forever to continue.

I slowly continued, "You've been my friend longer than you've been a stranger. Though you completely disappeared from my life for a decade, you're still my friend. I know, when we first met after a decade, I was confused. Mad. Unsure. Remember that day? In the music room of my school?"

Jihoon smiled at the memory.

I couldn't, though. Smiling, I mean. I simply continued, "I was glad you came back and that you were fine. We got along after a while of me hating you because, after all, you left when we were younger. You never came back. You completely disappeared."

"Sorry," Jihoon ended up muttering.

Stop, Jihoon. Don't make it harder. "Don't be. It's in the past, right? Anyway, I'm glad you're back. You've to proven me, that despite one stupid mistake in the past, you didn't change. And I hope you won't change for anyone else, too. I'm sorry to keep delaying my answer but my answer is actually..."

Jihoon held his breath, his eyes full of expectations again.

I also held my breath as I finally answered, "No. I'm sorry Jihoon. I just can't be yours. I love Joshua."

Jihoon's eyes changed from expectant to anger. "But he dumped you!"

"But it wasn't on purpose," I blurted out. "I think so, at least. I know Joshua. He isn't like this. He was forced to."

"Why would you keep fighting for a love that you can't keep? He's not of your status, Nari. It's impossible for you to stay with him. He can protect you but there are people more powerful than him who can control him," Jihoon told me, as a matter of fact.

"Do you think I don't know that?" I asked, my voice raised. "Despite him being able to admit defeat to those more powerful than him, he won't ever be swayed. His mind can't change easily and I know that his heart is just the same. I trust him."

"So, what? That's it? What's going to happen to us?"

I paused, thinking carefully. "That simply depends on you and your feelings. Jihoon, you'll always be my friend no matter what happens. Now, it's all up to you to decide whether or not you want to stay friends or you want us to be strangers."

Jihoon began to walk away.

"So that's your answer."

Jihoon stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around to meet my eyes-probably for the last time. "I don't want to see you for some time."

"So we're strangers?" I asked.

He managed to smile a small smile. Then he shook his head and replied, "No. I just don't want to see you for some time."

My eyebrows raised. "Does that mean..."

"Yes," he answered, probably reading my mind, "we're still friends. I just need some time to settle these... unwanted feelings that will interfere our friendship."

I smiled, feeling proud. "Thank you, Jihoon. For staying by my side, still."

Jihoon waved at me before he turned his back on me and slowly walked away before he picked up the pace and began running. To where? I wasn't sure. I can't hold him back when there's something clear on his mind. There's nothing I can control when it comes to him.

All I knew was that friendship... it can start and end easily. Some people were meant to stay together, as friends. One might not even be able to live without the other. Which was why I was grateful. Despite Jihoon and I having our differences and arguments, we were still great friends.

Soonyoung

"Is this the place?" Joonyoung asked, looking at his phone screen before he looked back at the house before him.

"That's what it says on your phone, right?" Soonyoung asked back.

Joonyoung nodded.

Soonyoung looked back at the house. "Then this must be the place. It's not like there's another place with the same address, right?"

Joonyoung didn't say anything in return. He walked up to the door and knocked on it. A bulky man in a suit answered it and examined Joonyoung.

"May I help you?" he asked.

That looks suspicious, Soonyoung thought, following his hyung to the doorstep.

"Ah, I was wondering if Kwon Hoya and Kwon Jaemin are residing here?" Joonyoung asked with a polite smile.

"Yes," the man simply answered.

There was a moment of awkward silence. Joonyoung cleared his throat and asked him, "May... I see them?"

The man turned around to look at the other man-of the same built as him-and the other man threw him back a nod. The man Joonyoung was talking to turned back around to face the two brothers and let them in.

"Sit down in the living room. I'll call them over," the man told them.

Soonyoung and his brother entered the living room and took a seat. While Joonyoung looked around the house to examine its exterior, Soonyoung only pondered on the conversation both brothers had with their parents.

"Who? Kwon Jaemin and Kwon Hoya?" their mother asked, confused. "They're... where?"

"An orphanage," Soonyoung answered, sighing. "Eomma, we live such a comfortable life, yet, we don't even know how our cousins are living."

His mother looked conflicted.

Soonyoung's father, on the other hand, looked distressed. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to remember something. "So, it's true. My brother and his wife really died."

"Appa, you knew?" Joonyoung asked, looking confused. Both brothers exchanged a glance.

Their father faced Soonyoung and in a serious tone, he asked him, "Which orphanage did you say it was?"

Soonyoung snapped out of his thoughts when he heard footfalls coming closer and closer every second. By the time it stopped, Soonyoung faced the entrance of the living room, finding two boys who looked like they've been mistreated.

Just what kind of orphanage is this? Soonyoung wondered, eyebrows furrowing as he examined his cousins.

"Hoya? Jaemin?" Joonyoung asked as he stood up from his seat.

"Who are you?" Hoya asked, his voice sounding hollow and dead. His eyes looked tired and his face drained of colour.

Joonyoung awkwardly smiled. "Ah, I'm Kwon Joonyoung. I'm your cousin. Your father is the youngest brother of my cousin. I don't think we've ever met."

"Cousin?" Hoya asked. When he glanced over to the men that stood close, they made a short eye contact and immediately, Hoya shut up.

Soonyoung found that suspicious once again and immediately asked the men, "Who owns this orphanage?"

One of the men answered, "Hong Jiae, from the Hong household."

Jisoo

It was break time and Nari continued to ignore him as usual. Jisoo couldn't say he was used to it; he was kind of hurt that she pretended he never existed. But it was what he deserved, after all.

"Until when must we keep waiting for you to figure out a plan out?" Jisoo asked Gain impatiently. "I don't think I can stand having Nari hate me like this."

Gain sighed, also impatient. She was getting sick of Jisoo's constant complaining. She gave him a glare and told him, "I told you to be patient, didn't I?"

Jisoo sighed and nodded.

Gain went back to writing down her plans and ideas while Jisoo was thinking about Nari.

All of a sudden, Gain let out a frustrated shout, startling Jisoo. They were the only two who occupied the music room during break time, so Jisoo was relieved that he didn't get embarrassed in front of people.

"What was that for?" Jisoo asked her, placing a hand over his racing heart.

"There's no way," Gain muttered, probably talking to herself.

"What?"

Gain looked up to meet Jisoo's eyes. "I said: there's no way. My theory was right. They're making us get married because there are no other ways to boost their power. Now, there's one last way."

"No, not that one."

Gain nodded. "You have to find another girl from a rich family and marry her."

"In Gain!" Jisoo angrily shouted. "I told you, I don't want to get married with other people."

"That's the only way, Hong Jisoo," Gain told him in a low hiss.

"You mean, that's the only way you can get out of this arranged marriage. You're keeping me in because you think I'm some pushover," Jisoo clarified, his eyes narrowing as he stared at her.

"Yeah," Gain replied, "isn't that true? You don't stand up for yourself. You let your sister push you around. You don't do anything to try to stop her from breaking your petty love with Nari."

Jisoo's hands curled into a tight fist. "I did. I did do everything I could so that Nari and I could love peacefully. It's just that Jiae noona has the upper hand every time."

Gain scoffed. "You just weren't smart enough with your plans."

"I get it, you're smart. But you don't have to rub it in people's faces, In Gain. I honestly feel sad for you. I don't think you'll get anywhere with that attitude of yours. Sure, you have the brains but attitude and personality has something to do with your life too, don't you know?"

Gain let out a sarcastic laugh. "If we really end up getting married because we don't have any other choices, I really will divorce you right after the wedding party."

Jisoo forced a smile. "At least we can agree on something, right?"

"I'll keep thinking, then," Gain said, picking up her things. "We both don't want to get married to each other and you're being stubborn by not finding any other girls."

"Just do your best and find another way out, In Gain," Jisoo told her before following her to the door.

Nari

I had to wash the blankets today.

It was part of my job and I was doing it in the empty courtyard of the mansion. Since my long, dark brown was going to get in my way, I gathered it all up and tied it into a high bun, ignoring all the shorter hair that fell out of it.

I pulled my leggings up a little higher and slipped off my slippers and stepped into the giant red basin to step on the blankets. The water was really cold but it made me smile, for some odd reason.

I continued doing my chores alone while thinking of my cousins-all three of them. Or four, since Soonyoung had an older brother. That was when I realized all of them were guys and I was the only girl.

My lips stretched into a grin. Now that seemed like Peter Pan and his Lost Boys. I didn't have any female cousins, but glad to know I had two male cousins who I was close with.

"Why are smiling to yourself while you're alone?" a voice asked, startling me.

Putting a hand over my heart and calming myself down by breathing slowly, I turned around to check who it was. My eyes widened when I saw Joshua leaning against the door pane with a smile.

Slightly shaking, I turned around so I didn't have to face him. "Working. I'm not supposed to interact with the masters of this household. You should return back inside."

"Not talking to me, huh? We're the only ones around. I think we can break a rule or two."

"Congratulations," I said. Then added, "I heard you got engaged to In Gain. Who would have known, huh?"

I heard Joshua sigh heavily behind me and then stood in front of me. "Nari, we need to talk."

"If it's about your arranged marriage and preparations, I'm not in charge of that. But you can ask Miss Pyo if you want. I'm sure she knows everything," I told him with a fake smile before going back to what I was doing.

"Not that," Joshua said shortly.

"Oh, then, if it's about your meals, I can't tend to your requests right now since I have a chore I must finish up." I should really stop talking to him right now. This wasn't helping with anything.

Joshua suddenly removed his shoes and shocks then stepped into the basin with me. Startled, I took a step back but almost ended up stumbling and tripping if Joshua hadn't firmly put a hand on my back and pulling me closer until our bodies touched each other's.

His eyes were staring deep into my eyes and unlike him, I had my eyes widened. I stuttered, "Jisoo, you shouldn't be doing this. It's... it's..."

"Against the rules?" Joshua helped finish up my sentence. His lips pulled into a mischievous grin. "I don't care about those things right now."

I frowned. "Gain wouldn't be happy if she found out about this."

"As if she cares about this."

I titled my head, confused. "Doesn't she like you? That's why you two are in an arranged marriage?"

Joshua laughed like that was the funniest thing he's ever heard. "No, that's not why." Joshua finally helped me regained balance on my feet and continued, "I would like to tell you everything but I don't want to risk anything. But just know that I still love you."

I slightly flinched. I was not ready for his sudden confession. "Then, why? Why are you still..."

Joshua rubbed the back of his neck. "Let's just say that I have to keep the end of the deal."

"Deal?" I echoed. Then it clicked. "So that's why Jiae has been treating me nicer these days... It was part of the deal, wasn't it?"

Joshua cautiously looked around before leaning in closer to whisper, "Yes."

"She must have threatened you with something to get you to agree with this," I smartly speculated. "You didn't have a choice. That was why? And you can't tell me because that's also part of the deal?"

Joshua sadly nodded. "I shouldn't be telling you these things, though."

"You're not telling me anything. It doesn't count as long as I'm the one who's speculating it," I told him, giving him a cheeky smile.

Joshua then leaned closer in once again before pulling me into a hug. "I miss this. I miss us."

"Me too," I whispered back, closing my eyes and putting my arms around him. "But we can't do this, Jisoo."

"What's wrong with doing this?" Joshua asked, as if he had no clue.

My hands that were tightly holding on to him immediately hit his back. "Jisoo, we're in your home. We can easily be spotted. Let me go."

Joshua didn't budge.

"I'll kick your shin if you're not going to cooperate," I threatened.

"One last..." Joshua gave me a tight squeeze before slowly-and I mean, very slowly-letting me go. He gave me a smile and then a peck on my cheek. "I miss you and I'll miss you. I have to go back up to my room. You still love me, don't you?"

"Who else can I love if not you?" I asked, turning away and feeling embarrassed.

"Thought so." Joshua stepped out of the basin and picked up his shoes and socks. "Don't talk to any other guy in school. Eat well and sleep well. Continue to avoid people in school until I get myself out of this arranged marriage. Until then, continue being the Nari I know and love."

Thinking this was all too much from Joshua, I just smiled and nodded. "'Kay."

""'Kay"? That's it? I was expecting something more," Joshua said, frowning.

"You baby," I teased, pushing him to hurry up. "Leave, come on. We could get busted."

"As long as we'll be busted together," Joshua said, attempting to blow a seductive kiss my way but he was failing badly.

I held in my laughter and pushed him back into the mansion. "Bye, Jisoo. Thanks, though."

Joshua stopped and turned around with an expectant look. "For what?"

"For still loving me," I answered, looking down. I was embarrassed enough to say that to his face. "Now leave. I need to go back to doing my chores before I start complaining like a child."

Joshua was grinning, probably to tease me or he was genuinely happy to hear that. "Rea-"

"Okay, gotta get back to work. Bye." I turned my back on him and went back to washing the blankets.

I heard Joshua laughing behind me and then probably walking away to... I don't know, cry tears of joy? Whatever he would do after we confessed our love for each other.

While finishing up my chores, I realized I had a smile on the entire time. I guess happiness wasn't as impossible as I thought.

Soonyoung

"Oh, you're a year older than me?" Hoya asked, fascinated.

Currently, they were all in one car that was on its way back to the Kwon residence. After settling for an adoption, the four Kwon cousins were heading their way back to the Kwon residences so that Hoya and Jaemin could meet their aunt and uncle who will soon be their adoptive mother and father.

Joonyoung still couldn't let go of the fact that the orphanage his cousins were kept in was owned by Hong Jiae. He didn't know whether it was a coincidence or Jiae had a perfectly planned scheme.

Soonyoung excitedly nodded. "Yup! You can call me Soonyoung hyung. What's your brother's name?"

"I'm Kwon Jaemin," Jaemin happily introduced, smiling. "Nice to meet you, Soonyoung hyung."

Soonyoung excitedly nodded once again and had a big grin on his face. "So you're Jaemin and you're Hoya. Wah! How was it like living in that orphanage?"

Hoya's eyes suddenly flickered, as if a horrible memory came back to him. He slowly asked, "Is it okay to talk about it freely?"

Joonyoung noticed the way he asked. Like he was scared. He found it suspicious. He then joined the conversation by asking Hoya, "Why? Couldn't you speak freely in the orphanage?"

Hoya asked once more, "I can speak freely, right, hyung?"

Both Soonyoung and Joonyoung gave them an approval by nodding their heads.

Hoya began, "Well, it all started when we were brought into that orphanage. Before, Jaemin and I used to stay in Nari noona's apartment. She took us in and though we didn't always have a lot to eat, we were contented and happy. At that time, noona was working to pay off Jaemin's debts for damaging a store's window. She worked part-time in a convenient store."

Soonyoung remembered the story Nari told him. The one about her financial problems.

Hoya continued, "We were living happily, the three of us. Until one day, there came a knock in the apartment. Noona wasn't home at that time because she was out working in her part-time job. So I answered it and found two well built men in suits. I asked if they needed something or if I could help them but they just immediately grabbed both Jaemin and I by force."

Soonyoung noticed the way Jaemin's eyes changed. He looked scared.

Hoya went on, "We didn't know what was happening. Next thing we knew it, they were taking us to an orphanage. We were forced to stay there. We didn't know what was happening so we went with the flow. We were treated... how do you say? Like we were animals, basically. They would hit us when we were too talkative. They would scold us when we were laughing too much. They made our lives so... dull."

Jaemin nodded as he remembered all those times.

"We were never the same. We were cautious and we almost couldn't remember what it was like to be ourselves and act freely," Hoya finished explaining.

Joonyoung had a query. "Are other kids there treated the same way?"

Hoya nodded. "We were all treated the same way."

"Do the men treat you freely that way, like it's just how they want to, or is it a command from the owner or..." Joonyoung went on asking.

Hoya gave it a thought. "I think they were asked to be treated that way. There was this one time I overhead those men talking about the owner and how they thought they were being unfair to be treating the kids like this."

Joonyoung's speculations continued on growing. There was something, for sure.

"Well, forget everything!" Soonyoung told both boys. Then, he gave them a cheeky grin. "You'll be living with us from now on. We'll play games until late at night! Finally, guys my age!" He pointed at Joonyoung. "That hyung always has work so he can never play my favourite games with me."

Joonyoung's eyes widened at Soonyoung's words. "What? Yah, I'm not some workaholic, okay?"

"You work the most in our family, hyung," Soonyoung smartly told him. Turning to both Jaemin and Hoya, he said, "Let's play games all night long!"

"You shouldn't tire them out on the first day, Soonyoung," Joonyoung told him, lightly chuckling.

Hoya laughed, excited by the thought. "But what about Nari? Where is she now? What's going with her?"

Soonyoung's smile slowly disappeared as he remembered Nari working under the Hong household. "She's currently working at the Hong household. We're trying to get her out of there but we're not sure how."

"We were thinking of also adopting her," Joonyoung added. "I'm not sure if that will make a difference but it's worth a shot. However, leave everything to me. I might know a way to get her out of there."

Jaemin's eyes sparkled. "Really? Thank you, hyung! Please help Nari noona! She's been working so hard for us and even if she acts all childish, she can be responsible for you and will care for you very much."

Joonyoung smiled at this. "Don't worry, we'll make sure everyone gets a happy ending in the end."

"Really, hyung?" Soonyoung's eyes sparkled. "Are you our fairy god mother?"

The rest of them laughed.

Joonyoung laughed and nodded. He looked out of the window and thought, Jiae, you're being too mysterious these days. You were my best friend but you said it yourself. That girl's gone. So now, it's time to finally give the happily ever after you've stolen from them.

~Author's Notes~

Ooo, it's a long update today, I see! :) Hoped you enjoyed this update because the next chapter might be a potential end ;)

I imagine Hoya as Mark from NCT a lot. Maybe he should have been named Mark haha! :) But I still see Jaemin and NCT's Jaemin because he's handsome and cute <3

xoxo

Byun Sang Kyung