26th➳

"Nae?" I asked, unsure whether I heard correctly. "You would pay for me if I became your maid? Does that mean I'll have to live in your mansion or something?"

Jiae sat back down, leaning back on her chair with crossed arms. "Not in a big room in my mansion but in the servants' quarters. It's probably the same size as your actual room right now, I don't know. It's pretty small, that's what I'm trying to say."

It irked me to think that she thought that I was that poor, but it was still true even if I pretended not. "Yah, neo—" I sighed heavily and slammed my fist lightly on the table. "Hong Jiae, do you take me for a fool? I have my pride too and I won't do such a thing just so you can help pay my fine."

Jiae let out a shrug, like she knew she'd win in the end. "Even if you don't do agree now, just know that I'll be waiting for you to change your mind. You do know you have two days before you'll be forced to go to jail, right? Penalty for not paying the fine."

My facial expression changed into an irritated one. I stared at her, like telling her that no one will ever win over me, but I had troubles trying to believe my own words. "Fine. We'll see. I'm leaving now since there's nothing else to talk about, right?"

Jiae smiled a smile I hated seeing and nodded, standing up while picking up her pink—and most likely branded—bag. "Nice negotiating with you, Kwon Nari. I'll be off now."

Once Jiae walked away from our table, I only felt a bitter taste remain in my mouth, as if I just drank coffee. I inhaled a deep breath and forced myself not to cry. But sometimes, even a child can't handle everything. 

If only Neverland really existed. If only I was taken away from this cruel reality by Peter Pan to live off a place where I will never grow up. Where I will never understand any of these adult feelings, as well as the situations involved. 

That was when I realized that the Kwon Nari I knew and loved the most—the Peter Pan-loving kid—was slowly growing up and becoming a distant memory. I was waking up. I was growing up. And I hated it. 

♥

"Hello Nari!" a voice greeted, just when I wanted to be alone the most. My head moved towards my left and noticed a little boy running up to me. It turned out to be Jihoon rushing up to me with his wide smile. He sat down next to me on the stone bench and asked, "You aren't at work today too?"

"I've been skipping work a lot lately, aren't I?" I asked in a tired voice, giving him a tired smile as well. I've been sitting here for the entire twenty minutes after leaving the cafe and I wasn't sure what I was doing with my time today. 

Jihoon nodded with pressed lips folded into a thin line. He looked cute that way. "Very much. How will you earn a living this way, Kwon Nari? Ey, but you're Kwon Nari! You always make things go your way!"

I half smiled at him. "Where did you hear that one from, Lee Jihoon?"

"I loiter around your school a lot. There are so many people talking about you but they keep things minimum, saying that you'll always find a way to scare them and shut their mouths. My Kwon Nari is really strong and brave, isn't she?"

Once Jihoon's hand made contact with the top of my head, I froze in place and gave him a slightly weird look. I wasn't myself lately and I wasn't even sure who to blame. If only I had the power to manipulate time so I could go back to where it all started. The fault was when I became friends with Jisoo. If only I could go back and tell myself the consequences that followed him. 

"Ooh, Kwon Nari. You're not looking yourself lately." Jihoon pushed the sides of my mouth higher up so that they became a smile. He even smiled at the sight of me. "Where has your smile gone to?"

"Gee, you act like you've known me for so long when in fact you ran away from all of us and disappeared for a decade." It was meant as a friendly joke but it sounded so dry it didn't sound like one. "Jihoon, you've acted like an adult longer than I have. How do you deal with all these human problems?"

Jihoon swung his legs back and forth while he sat on the bench, thinking hard on how to answer my question. He had a thinking face on and even that was cute. Jihoon will forever remain a kid in my eyes. 

"Mmm..." he said, still thinking. "From what I remember, I was mostly being a coward and running away from all of that. Looking back at it, I realized I shouldn't have done such a thing because that won't make the problems go away. Facing them is one thing, but really, who has enough courage to do such a thing, right?"

Hearing Jihoon's dry laugh made me wonder what goes on in his mind. I wanted to know his thoughts but like the scared kids we were, we opted to hide our feelings and only show each other that we were okay, even if we weren't. 

"Life is a pain, isn't it?" I asked him whilst staring at the skies above us. I let out a loud yell, "Life is hard!"

Jihoon smiled back and did the same thing, "Life is not full of happiness!"

I smiled back at him before continuing, "I want to be happy in this life!"

Jihoon added, "Happiness, where are you?"

We made eye contact and let out laughs, feeling satisfied by yelling it all out. I stuffed my hands in my pockets, still laughing as slow flashbacks began playing. I was never once truly happy, I've realized. I try to be happy. I try to act happy. I try to make everything seem like it's full of happiness but I've realized I was just being blinded the entire time. 

"Let's not grow up too fast, Kwon Nari," Jihoon said, staring ahead of where we sat. "Growing up only brings sadness."

It's too bad I was already growing up. "I'm scared of the real world, Jihoon. I've been living in a kid's dream the entire time that I don't know how I'll be able to adapt to reality."

"Everyone's scared, Kwon Nari," Jihoon told me, "you're not the only one like that. At least the normal people in this life actually have family to care and support them. All we have is each other. What's the use of adults now? They've proven that they're only there like your ghost that follows you."

"We have each other," I repeated his words, letting the words sink deeper in. 

"Yeah, we only have each other left. We're the last piece to prove each other we were once happy. Maybe when we were really young, when we couldn't remember a thing, we were happy," Jihoon said, giving me hope to believe in. 

He was probably right. Maybe there was a time I was happy. And maybe I was even someone's happiness—way before I could even remember it myself. 

♥

"Aigoo, Kwon Nari! I've been missing you too much these days in the convenient store! What do I do with you?" Joshua asked once he sat down in his seat. 

Seeing his face reminded me of his noona and the condition she had left for me. The fine had to be settled tomorrow or I'll be kicked out of my house. Where would I live then? In the cold streets? 

I gave him a bitter smile. "Don't even start with me, Hong Jisoo. Why are you being so cheesy these days, huh? You should lower your dairy diet. This must be one of the side effects of eating too much of it."

Joshua laughed, his eyes curling into crescent moons. "I can't help it! You're just so cute that I always want to protect you. From everyone in this world because you're so innocent and fragile."

I ended up snorting, which wasn't a pretty sight, but when did Joshua ever mind? Never. "Fragile? Yeah, I'm totally fragile. I totally didn't make everyone who has ever dared to talk behind my back shut up."

"Less people are doing that these days," Joshua pointed out, giving me a smile. 

"I noticed that too." I looked around the classroom, thankful they've finally understood Korean and stopped with the whole nonsense.  

"Who knows? Maybe it's because you have me as a boyfriend," Joshua went on, sending me a wink. 

I slapped his chest, rolling my eyes. "Please. The last thing I expected people to do to stop talking about me because I suddenly have a boyfriend."

"You do have me."

"Stop." I gave him a warning look. I did not like the hair on my hand rising because of the way Joshua kept going with the cheese. I wanted to keep my ground, but Joshua was making silly faces that a smile threatened to curl on my lips, and once it did, Joshua's eyes sparkled, like he won a million dollars on the show. 

He patted the side of my head once again and I realized it had grown into a habit for him. "Real life is scary, Kwon Nari. Also, this real life... it's telling us to stay away from each other."

My heart turned heavy but I tried to act cool about it. "Who says we have to listen what stupid adults have to say? They say, "Youth is the hope of the future." What hope do they expect if they keep giving us stupid rules they know we won't follow?"

Joshua didn't say anything in reply. He only continued to lightly caress the side of my hair, giving me a smile with no special meaning—but there could be one. One that he's hiding. "I'm just saying that whatever happens in the future, I don't want to lose you."

In a soft whisper with my head hung down low, I said, "Me too, Jisoo. Me too."

♥

Being back at the convenient store to work with Jisoo and occasionally Sunggyu was fun. It was like everything went back to actually being normal. But this wasn't normal, if we were to talk a few months ago. Normal was another word for me back then. It was filled with no one holding me back, no one giving me orders, no one becoming my weakness and no one attacking me with financial issues. 

Those things were only meant for adults. When did I grow up, in order for me to face them? Well, I guess I grew up ever since I met all those things I mentioned. Not entirely, no, but maybe a small portion of me has. 

"What are you pondering over there, Kwon Nari?" Joshua asked from the counter side. I was here at the end of the aisle with the freezer that kept bottled drinks and others such as a small container of various flavours of milk.

"Mwo? I'm not pondering. I'm working," I told him, moping the floor for him to see. "Convinced now, sajangnim?"

By the mention of 'boss', Joshua let out a light laugh as he crossed his hands on the counter, leaning against it. "I'm not the boss of this store, Kwon Nari. I'm just a high schooler, like you. How can I run a business?"

"Well, you are taking private business classes..."

"My family just owns this convenient store. That doesn't mean I'm the boss of it. I have a manager too and us employees don't have subordinates, unlike the higher rankings. You and me, we're at the very bottom of the hierarchy," Joshua explained with his smile, but all the words he had just said a moment ago only became some foreign language to my ears. 

"Wh...at?" was all I managed to squeak out, giving him blank blinks. "I had no idea what you just said, Hong Jisoo. What? Subordinates? Hierarchy?"

Joshua only laughed as a reply. "You're cute, Nari. You don't even know the basics for business. We learn it in school, don't you remember any of it?"

When I look back at all of the lessons taught in school, the only thing I remember was all my daydreams involving Peter Pan and adventuring. But honestly, these days, those thoughts are replaced with worries and 'what ifs' and it made me wonder if this was what a mind of a teenager was supposed to be. 

As the day slowly ends, the nearer the time for my decision had to be made. But I already knew which side I was already falling on—my decision, that is. 

~Author's Notes~

Here's a new update for you Kimichies! I hope you didn't wait too long :) I really need to end this (I'm sure you're sick and tired of hearing this already) so updates might seem rushed and such, but I'll still do my best ^^ 

xoxo

Byun Sang Kyung